Star Quality
by Syrinx
Summary: Cindy has been all over the country, trying to become something that has always slipped out of her grasp. Post Cindy's Desert Adventure, sequel to Before the Fame, Cindy/OC angst.
1. Welcome to the City that Never Sleeps

Star Quality  
By Syrinx  
Summary: Cindy has been all over the country, trying to become something that has always slipped out of her grasp. Now, in her quest to become a respected jockey, Cindy falls into Belmont Park and finds the horse that can help her take her first steps in the right direction.  
Disclaimer: All rights to the Thoroughbred series belong to Joanna Campbell and Harper Collins.  
A/N: post Cindy's Desert Adventure, sequel to Before the Fame, Cindy/OC angst.

1.  
Welcome to the City that Never Sleeps

Cindy McLean stood out by the side of the track, her eyes skipping over the vast expanse of it. The sun was rising hot on the horizon, reminding Cindy that summers in New York were just as bad as the summers anywhere else, if not more humid. Silently, she collected her shoulder length blond hair into a low ponytail, pulling the thick hair away from her neck in relief.

Belmont Park spread out before her, painted in a faint tint of orange and red as the sun began to spill out onto the giant city, lighting up the brilliant blue sky. Horses had been out on the track for some time, their beautiful earth toned bodies slipping through the shadows and the sun, dancing on delicate legs, their manes ruffling behind them in fans of bronze, onyx, silver, and gold.

She remembered the track as well as she knew the back of her hand. Sometimes it helped to know the lay of the land, Cindy reasoned, before she went out to try and communicate with the people.

Slowly, she made up her mind. Cindy turned away from the track and made her way up to the barns, her boots crunching on the gravel as she looked in on stables, staying out of people's way as horses were led in and out. She stopped outside barn 28, glancing inside to see a tall man checking on a horse, a clipboard underneath his arm.

He glanced up when Cindy took one small step into the barn, looking around her.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked, pulling off his glasses, turning to look over at Cindy.

Cindy nodded, smiling softly. She was no longer nervous when it came down to asking for jobs. Either they had something to offer or they didn't. If they said no, Cindy thanked them and walked away. If they said yes, that was a whole other story.

"I was looking for work riding," Cindy said, keeping her distance as the man slowly shook his head.

"You got an agent?" He asked, putting his glasses back on and glancing down at the clipboard.

"Not yet," Cindy sighed, knowing the whole routine.

"Well," he said, shaking his head. "Policy around here is that trainers don't pick up young riders without agents, and I've got all the hands I could need."

Cindy nodded, a frown forming on her mouth. The story was the same where ever she went. Good, worthwhile jockeys started out with agents. They had contracts, and owners to ride for. Cindy had none of those things. She had only one controversial stakes win under her belt, and that was not worth anything to anyone she had met in the past three years.

"Hey, kid," the man called as she started to turn, heading out for another barn.

"Yeah?" Cindy asked, turning around, whipping her head back hopefully.

"You look familiar. What's your name?"

"Cindy McLean," she said, watching his face closely.

The tall man stood there for a moment, his eyes narrowing at her as though he was scrutinizing every aspect of her.

"Dubai winner, right?" He asked, taking a step back from the stall and facing her fully now, frowning.

"Yeah," Cindy muttered, shrugging. It wasn't new information that she had won the Dubai World Cup on a Triple Crown winner four years ago. Of course, that seemed like it had been a life time ago to Cindy.

"My name is William Lewis," he said, offering his hand.

"Hi," Cindy said, taking his hand and shaking it disinterestedly.

"I'll tell you what, Cindy," Mr. Lewis said, pressing his clipboard to his chest. "There is a slot open at Lucas Simm's barn for an exercise rider."

"Lucas Simm?" Cindy frowned, recognizing the name. He was one of the best young trainers in the business. His four-year-old, Counting Crosses, had won the Breeder's Cup Sprint the year before.

"Right," Mr. Lewis nodded. "As far as I know he hasn't filled the position. You may want to give that a shot, though. His main office is over in barn 41."

"Thanks," Cindy nodded, giving the man one of her few and fleeting smiles before turning on her heel and walking off. She paused outside, looking down the rows of barns and gravel aisles.

Belmont, Cindy thought to herself. As similar as it was, it all seemed different. Cindy supposed it was her new found ability to see without the rose colored glasses that Whitebrook had placed on her face. When she had grown up it had been all about the Classic races and the stakes winners. When she moved away everything suddenly became much more plain.

She scowled down at the rest of the backside, silently cursing to herself. She took a big breath and let it out, starting off down the gravel aisle, heading for barn 41.

When she walked into the open air stable of barn 41, she paused, looking around her. The aisle was immaculately clean, and there were several sleek Thoroughbreds lifting their noble heads to survey her calmly, pricking their ears at her as she began to walk by.

"Can I help you?" She heard a man's voice behind her and she turned around, finding a man slightly taller than her standing in the entrance of the barn, holding the lead to a skittish gray.

"Yes," Cindy nodded, taking a few steps forward. "I'm hear to talk to Lucas Simm. I heard he was short an exercise rider."

"Ah," the man chuckled, leading the gray into the barn, the horse's hooves clomping rhythmically on the concrete. "He is short a rider. What's your name?"

"Cindy McLean," she said, as though she were tired of saying it.

"Yeah?" The man asked, raising an eyebrow at her. "Whitebrook, right?"

"Used to be," Cindy shrugged. "I came up from Baltimore just yesterday."

"Pimlico?"

"Yes," Cindy nodded, walking up to the gray as the young man put him in a stall marked "Silver Admiral."

"My name is Micky Anderson," he said, reaching over and offering his hand. "I'm Lucas' one and only Belmont exercise rider at the moment."

"I guess you'll be needing another one soon," Cindy said, taking his hand and shaking it firmly, then letting go.

Micky laughed and nodded. "I'd hire you myself if I could," he said, rubbing his forehead. "But fortunately for you Lucas is in the office."

Micky led Cindy down the barn toward the cramped office Lucas Simm operated out of. Cindy glanced quickly at the Far Side cartoons, all having to do with horses, taped to the open door of the trainer's office as Micky stopped in the doorway.

Cindy stood just behind the young exercise rider, looking over his shoulder at the man sprawled out in a chair behind a large oak desk, one foot propped on the messy top.

"That sounds great, Jack," he was saying. "It's about time you got the hell out of California and headed east. This is where the big shots play anyway."

Cindy frowned, watching the trainer talk into the phone, running his hands through his mousy brown hair, his green eyes sparkling excitedly.

"Well, I'll tell you what," Lucas said into the phone. "Come by here when you get in on Saturday. I'll be around to show you the horses. You're set to stay with Ryan when you get in, right?"

Cindy frowned, wishing the man off the phone. She had little patience for such chatter.

"All right," Lucas nodded, swinging his leg off the desk. "I'll see you then, Jack."

At that, the trainer put the phone back on the hook and looked up at Micky, waving him inside.

"What have you got for me, Mick?"

"A possible exercise rider," Micky said, moving out of the way. "By the name of Cindy McLean."

"Cindy McLean, huh?" Lucas Simm stood up, motioning Cindy inside the office. "Thanks, Micky," he said, walking around the desk and offering Cindy his hand.

"I'm Lucas Simm."

Cindy swallowed and accepted it, smiling at Micky slightly as Lucas shut the door, patting the leather chair on the other side of the desk.

"Take a seat, Ms. McLean," Mr. Simm said, walking back around to his chair and sitting down, sighing. "Sorry about the wait," he said as Cindy sat down in the chair, looking around her, noticing two Eclipse awards sitting on the far side of the room, flanked by winner's circle photos of several big name horses that she recognized.

"Just got myself a new assistant trainer," he chuckled, turning in his chair to rummage through his desk.

Cindy sat in silence, watching him pull out a few forms.

After a minute of waiting, he asked, "You are the Cindy McLean, aren't you?"

"I suppose so," Cindy frowned, shrugging.

"Ashleigh Griffen's apprentice," Lucas clarified. "Raced for Whitebrook Farm."

"Yes," Cindy nodded, trying to bite back the bitterness of being called Ashleigh Griffen's apprentice. "That would be me."

"How old are you now, kid?"

"Twenty," Cindy said, sitting up in the chair.

Lucas stilled, and chuckled. "Time does fly," he said under his breath as he pulled out a pen, beginning to write on the papers in front of him.

"Where were you last?"

"Baltimore," Cindy frowned, beginning to pick at her nails as Lucas still wrote.

"Not much luck?"

"Not any luck that I wanted," Cindy said sourly, then she mentally kicked herself. She wasn't going to walk into a new job with a bad attitude. She had done that at Chicago and wound up staying only a month.

Lucas only chuckled at that, tossing the pen down and pushing the papers to her.

"I need an exercise rider," he said, pointing at the papers.

"Don't you want to know any of my experience?" Cindy asked frowning at him, glancing at the papers quickly.

"I know your experience," Lucas said, sitting back in his chair. "Being on the racing circuit for ten years and racing against Whitebrook is all I need to know about your experience."

Cindy frowned at the papers, reading them. She had stopped caring much about the papers she signed somewhere along the way, and the words seemed to blend together in front of her.

Cindy picked up a pen and signed the documents, pushing them back to Mr. Simm.

"You'll start tomorrow," Lucas said, picking up the papers. "Pay is pretty good right now," he added. "Just get in early, no later than five, and I'll make sure it isn't cut."

"Mr. Simm," Cindy asked, watching him slide the documents in a separate file.

"Call me Lucas," he said, shaking his head.

"Lucas," Cindy tried, sitting up. "I do have my jockey's license."

Lucas got up and put the file folder in one of his cabinets, then turned around to look over at her.

"Let me see it," Lucas said, holding out his hand.

Cindy immediately dug into her purse and produced the license, handing it over to him.

Lucas looked at it for a moment and sat down in his chair again sitting quietly for a few moments before tossing the license back on the middle of the desk.

"Cindy," Lucas said, leaning forward. "You don't have an agent, do you?"

"Well," Cindy sighed. "No."

"I'm not even going to go into the implications of hiring on a young jockey without an agent or no formal contract."

Cindy nodded. "That's all I needed to know."

"Wait," Lucas held up a hand. "Firstly, I want you to know that I am not in the business of serving out second chances on a silver platter."

Cindy automatically bristled at the idea of having lost her first chance, but she stared straight ahead, waiting for Lucas to continue.

"I'm hiring you on as an exercise rider," he said firmly.

"I understand," Cindy nodded, looking down.

"Cindy," Lucas said. "I know you've jockeyed for Whitebrook and Ashleigh Griffen. Of that I'm very well aware. And I'm sure I'm not the last trainer to tell you that."

Cindy shrugged, looking over at the trainer.

"I'm not saying I won't consider giving you the chance..."

Cindy looked up, her brown eyes lighting up at the words.

"But," Lucas paused, pushing her card at her. "There it is. Micky is outside. He can show you around. We'll start your string at five sharp tomorrow morning."

"Thank you, Mr. Simm," Cindy said, getting up, throwing her purse over her head.

"Lucas," he insisted, walking her to the door.

"Right, I'm sorry," Cindy started, smiling.

"Not a problem," Lucas said quickly, then pointed her to Micky. "Micky, show her the string!"

Cindy spent a good hour looking over Lucas' barns, wandering in and out of stalls, looking over her string of horses. It was a good group, Cindy supposed, running her hand over the dark muzzle of a bay with the name of Star Bank. The gelding snorted at her and tossed his jet black mane, eyeing her with deep brown eyes.

"You like what you see?" Micky asked, walking up to the bay gelding. "He's always been one of my favorites."

"How old is he?" Cindy asked, pulling open the gelding's mouth, peering inside. By the looks of the angles on his teeth he was definitely older than three.

"He's six," Micky said, patting the bay on the neck. "Always been a dependable racer. Recently started running in some ungraded stakes a few months ago."

"He's a nice looking one," Cindy nodded. "What are his bloodlines?"

"Personal Flag out of Vix," Micky said, smiling. "But if you want to see some amazing bloodlines, I suggest taking a look at Lucas' most recent acquirement."

Cindy rose an eyebrow and shrugged. "Sure."

Micky grinned at her and motioned for her to follow him down the aisle, walking along the line of beautiful Thoroughbreds, and stopping outside a silent stall.

Cindy glanced inside and frowned, taking in the red chestnut carefully.

"That's a Military colt, out of Princess Red. Doesn't get much more beautiful than that, does it?"

Cindy shook her head, watching the red colt walk up to them, his star-marked forehead gleaming in the late morning light that flowed into the barn, lighting his coat on fire. If Cindy had thought Lucas' string wasn't much before, she was dead wrong.

"What's his name?" Cindy asked, putting a hand on the colt's dark nose, looking in at his white feet, noticing the correct lines and angles.

"Red Army," Micky said softly, pushing the colt's trimmed forelock off his forehead. "He's a two-year-old maiden, but I've been riding him and I swear to God he's the most mature younger horse I've ever rode."

Cindy nodded, stepping back a minute and taking in the colt. "What does Mr. Simm have in mind for him?"

"Lucas?" Micky grinned, giving the red colt a pat on the neck. "The Breeders' Cup, the Kentucky Derby, the Breeders' Cup again. You know the whole circuit, I'm sure."

"Sure," Cindy repeated, nodding. "He's got the bloodlines. Military won the Preakness and the Belmont four years ago, and Princess Red was a Canadian champion, wasn't she?"

"Yeah," Micky nodded. "You know your bloodlines, Ms. Cindy."

Red Army shook out his crimson mane and snorted, bobbing his noble head several times as Micky moved down the row, showing Cindy the rest of the string.

"You'll start out with Queen City tomorrow," Micky said as he walked Cindy to her beat up Ford pick up. Cindy nodded, remembering the small bay filly Micky had shown her not thirty minutes before.

"Where are you staying?" Micky asked as Cindy jumped into the light blue truck, leaning against the door after she slammed it shut.

"Over at a Best Western," Cindy frowned, squinting her eyes against the intense rays of the summer sun. "Outside Elmont."

"You should get yourself an apartment sometime soon," Micky said. "There are tons of people around here searching for roommates. I can ask around for you."

"Yeah?" Cindy asked, looking down at the young man. "Okay, thanks."

"No problem," Micky nodded. "And remember to talk to the guard before you leave. He'll get you a pass for your vehicle, here."

Cindy snorted and tapped the black steering wheel, letting out a laugh. "This thing is hardly a vehicle. It's more of a rusting tin can on big wheels."

Micky laughed and pushed away from the door. "You'll be able to change that soon enough, Ms. Cindy."

"Sure," Cindy rolled her eyes, throwing the truck into drive and heading back out to the gates, out into the big city beyond.


	2. Belmont

2.

Belmont

The next day Cindy entered Belmont Park, her new hang tag rocking on the rear view mirror, and headed out to Simm Barns, parking with a metallic squeak outside barn 41. She got out of the truck, pulling her equipment out after her, sticking her crop between her teeth as she pulled on her dark green chaps and pulled back her dirty blond hair.

It was already heating up for five in the morning, even without the sun high in the sky. August was going to be one hell of a hot month, Cindy thought as she pulled the crop from her mouth and threw her windbreaker back in the cab, slamming the door after it.

She walking into Mr. Lucas Simm's main barn with a certain air of uncertainty, not sure of what she was going to find. The track was already alive with activity, hotwalkers leading horses up and down the aisles of various stables, the track teeming with breezing Thoroughbreds and littered with people dressed in beat up jeans, decorated with cowboy boots and silver belt buckles or expensive sunglasses and gold wrist watches.

When Cindy walked into Mr. Simm's barn, she found the trainer outside a stall, talking with Micky, turning when Cindy approached.

"Ms. McLean," Lucas called, smiling at her and motioning her over to the stall. Cindy came up to him, stopping to peer inside the stall, where a defiant young bay glared back at her.

"You can call me Cindy," she said, giving Lucas a small smile, and he nodded, smiling again.

"Cindy," he said. "You're the woman of the hour."

"How so?" Cindy asked, frowning when Lucas motioned to the bay inside the stall.

"That's Bosta, one of my rather new additions," he said, letting a groom bring the filly out.

"She's rather royal in her bloodlines," he sighed, watching the filly dance on slender legs, holding her regal head high. "Her sire was the late Mr. Prospector and her dam is that Savage Girl mare. She's a full sister to the Kentucky Derby winner three years ago, and she's quite a handful."

Cindy nodded, watching the filly sweep her ears back and bare her teeth at the groom, threatening to bite.

"Micky is going to breeze her today because we're getting close to her maiden race," Lucas explained, coming up to the filly and looking up at her stripe-marked face. "But she's going to need Queenie on her the entire way. You up for a breeze first thing off?"

Cindy nodded. "Of course. That's what you hired me to do, right?"

Lucas looked at her and suddenly laughed, nodding his head. "Absolutely," he motioned over to the dark bay mare's stall, snagging another groom to take the calmer mare out.

"I'm going to go get Ryan," Lucas said, patting Queenie on the flank as the groom brought the dark mare out into the hall. "I'll be right back."

Cindy watched Lucas' retreating back before turning back to Micky.

"Who's Ryan?"

"Lucas' principle assistant trainer at Belmont," Micky said, helping the groom with Bosta, holding the filly's head as the other man worked on the saddle. "He'll be in charge of most of your horses," he added. "Lucas sticks with the big dogs - the horses in the group races and the prominent owners."

"Oh," Cindy muttered, watching the groom finish with the saddle, jumping away from the filly as she lashed out with her hind feet, shaking her head hard to dislodge Micky's grasp on her bridle.

When both horses were ready, they headed out to the track, Lucas following with another younger man Cindy assumed was his assistant trainer.

"We're going to try her from the gate today," Lucas said stopping by the gap as Micky launched himself into Bosta's saddle, landing softly on the filly's young back. Cindy got a leg up from Lucas, settling herself in Queen City's saddle, the older mare placidly chewing on the bit as Bosta shook her head like a wild thing, her dark mane fanning over her neck as she rose into the air, testing Micky.

"Whoa," Micky called, getting the filly to all fours, collecting the reins and moving forward before she had another chance to rear up, slowing the filly by the gap as Lucas barked out the orders.

"Four furlongs from the gate," Lucas called. "Queenie the same distance. Cindy! Keep Queenie right on Bosta's outside. She can't have a chance to lug out like she always does. Warm them up a little and we'll meet you at the gate."

"Got it," Cindy nodded, tugging the mare around and heading out to the practice gate, trotting after Bosta.

Cindy pulled alongside the upbeat filly, Queenie striding patiently next to Bosta as the young horse snorted and watched everything with wild eyes, straining against the bit. Micky handled her well, keeping with the filly and not letting her get away from him. But Cindy could see his arms straining, the tendons pronounced from the physical effect Bosta was having on his arms.

"Strong thing," Micky grunted as Bosta squealed, kicking into a canter with the extra slack Micky allowed in the reins, the two horses moving up the track together, Queenie keeping with Bosta on her own. Cindy warmed up Queenie easily, feeling the relaxed mare underneath her. She frowned to herself, knowing Queenie must either be a complete push over in a race, or a master mind.

"The time was pretty decent," Lucas said. "Forty-seven flat," he nodded, pushing his stopwatch back into his pocket. "I think both of them will be ready for next week."

"Queenie is racing?" Cindy asked, looking up at the sweet, compact mare.

"Allowance," Ryan said, still squatting on the ground, feeling the mare's legs. "Mile and a sixteenth."

"Oh," Cindy said, looking down at him as he looked up at her, flashing her brilliant green eyes and a smile, reaching up and running a hand through his light brown hair, messing it up, before he stood up to his full height - a full foot above Cindy.

"I'm Ryan Lockridge," he said, offering his hand to Cindy, who took it quietly and shook.

"I'm Cindy McLean," she replied, taking back her hand.

"Dubai winner, right?" he asked, giving Queenie a slap on the flank as a groom took the mare's halter, leading her up to the barns.

"Yeah," Cindy nodded, pulling off her helmet and redoing her ponytail. "That was some time ago," she smiled, watching another pair of horses coming down to the track, a bay and the red chestnut Cindy had seen the other day - Red Army.

"Four years," he shrugged. "What, you were seventeen then?"

Cindy threw him a look and laughed. "I was fifteen," she chuckled. "Almost sixteen."

"You're twenty?" he asked, his eyes narrowing as they waited for the horses. "I don't think I'd believe that if you didn't look so serious."

"Why?" Cindy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You look older than that," he said, shrugging.

"Is that an insult?" Cindy asked, frowning at him.

"Nah," he shook his head. "At your young age that should be a compliment."

Cindy's frown broke and she chuckled again, looking away as the bay gelding, Star Bank, arrived in front of her.

The rest of the morning Cindy worked Lucas' horses, heading in and out of the barns, taking around a fleet of geldings, fillies, and colts. Some had real promise, Cindy noticed as she rode. Some were already headed into graded stakes competition. Star Bank, the old bay gelding, had a beautiful stride over the turf, and was heading into his first graded stakes event in a month. Luna's Secret, a gray three-year-old filly, was just about to make her debut in the Diana Handicap, a grade two turf race in September. And Wonderland, a three-year-old chestnut, was heading out to the grade three Pennsylvania Derby.

At the end of the works Cindy was smiling. She had never worked on horses with such prospects since leaving Whitebrook, and she was already feeling her luck start to turn. If she continued with Lucas, Cindy figured, she may start working his first class horses by the end of the year. And, if she was really lucky, Cindy allowed herself to dream, he may let her start jockeying.

Cindy shook the thoughts from her head as she led her last horse, Northern Delight, back up to the barns herself, smiling and rubbing the bay gelding's dark nose as she took him up to the stable, settling him in cross ties and pulling off his tack.

As she bathed him in the warming August sunshine, running her hand over D's soaked coat as she ran the cool water over his back, watching the gelding relax and grunt as she soaped him up, then rinsed him off again.

"Cindy McLean?"

She heard a decidedly feminine voice behind her and she turned around just as she was about to turn off the hose, seeing a small young woman standing behind her.

"Yeah?" Cindy asked, giving the girl a once over quickly. She was small - around Cindy's height - and had long dark brown hair that was pulled back into a low ponytail at the base of her neck, making her look rather sophisticated and sharp.

"I'm Laura Parker," she smiled, offering her hand, which Cindy accepted after wiping the water off on her chaps.

"Hi," Cindy smiled in return.

"I work as an exercise rider for William Lewis," Laura explained quickly as Cindy shut off the water, pulling the hose over to the side of the barn. "I know Micky Anderson, and he told me you were looking for a roommate."

"I am," Cindy said quickly, suddenly interested in what this girl had to say.

"Good," Laura laughed, turning to lean her shoulder against the barn. "My roommate just skipped out on me about a month ago and I'm desperately looking for someone to help with the bills. I was wondering if you needed a place."

"I do," Cindy nodded, pulling her hair out of the frazzled ponytail and running her hands through it. "Just looking around in this city for an apartment is terrifying enough."

Laura laughed, nodding. "I definitely know about that. Would you like to take a look at it?"

"Sure," Cindy nodded, turning quickly to grab D's halter. "I just have to put him up first and I'm all set to go."

Laura took Cindy deeper into the city than she had expected, finding herself in Brooklyn, looking out of the windows as Laura turned onto 33rd Street, pulling into a small parking garage and turning off the car.

"It's kind of a studio apartment," Laura explained, getting out of the car, heading up to an old elevator, Cindy following closely as she looked out at the street, watching a stream of constant cars swarm by.

Laura punched in a code in the elevator and closed the gates, finally punching a button with a worn six stenciled over it.

"I'm the top apartment," she said, smiling at Cindy. "It has a great view of Brooklyn, and the bridge. We're really close to the river here."

Cindy nodded, jumping as the elevator met its destination and the door slid open, revealing an empty hallway with only one door.

Laura pushed the gate aside and pulled out her keys, unlocking the door and stepping inside, turning over to smile at Cindy.

"Wow," Cindy breathed, stepping out onto the hard wood floor, looking over the open space of the apartment.

"It's a small studio," Laura said, closing the door behind them and locking the four pad locks on the frame before dropping her keys on the multicolored tile of the kitchen counter that ran parallel to the far wall.

Cindy walked further into the apartment, her riding boots clopping against the wood. On her left was a series of huge windows in white steel frames, and beyond that was a small cement porch and the cityscape of New York, the Brooklyn Bridge rising gracefully above the smaller buildings of the burrow. She could make out a small glimmer of blue from the river from where she stood, knowing she could probably see more when she was outside.

There was a living area opposite the kitchen and at the end of the apartment were two doors.

"My room is on the right," Laura said, knocking on her door. "And this can be your room," she said, opening the other door, showing Cindy the modestly sized bedroom, the sea of white steel windows continuing into her bedroom.

"Oh my God," Cindy laughed, eyeing the small room, noticing the bathroom that attached to both bedrooms and her own separate porch, already decorated with potted flowers and creeping vines.

"You like it?" Laura asked, leaning against the door as Cindy inspected the empty room.

"This is fantastic!" Cindy gasped, turning around in front of the windows, looking over at Laura. "But how much is it?"

"Pretty expensive," Laura shrugged, "but everything in New York is. The water is paid, but everything else is our responsibility. The rent is twelve hundred."

Cindy almost choked, her eyes going wide. "You're kidding! How do you afford this?"

"Will's pay is pretty damn good," Laura laughed, smiling sweetly at Cindy. "But I definitely need a roommate to cut on the expenses. So, what do you say?"

Cindy was silent for a moment, turning to look back out the window. From her room she could see the river and the expanse of Manhattan beyond that, the twin towers of the World Trade Center rising like gray monoliths in the south. This was so perfect, she thought, smiling at the view. When she had been living in Miami she thought she had a pretty good deal by the ocean, but this was fantastic, and Laura seemed too good to be true.

Lucas was paying her enough to afford splitting the cost. There was really no question whether or not she was going to accept this place. She had to, otherwise she had no where else to go.

"Yeah," Cindy said, turning to throw a smile at Laura. "Definitely. When can I move in?"

On that Saturday, Cindy moved in her things. Ryan helped her with the bed she had found cheap at a flee market, and the two dressers. He had been easy to convince, especially when Laura offered him a six pack. He even stuck around to help the two girls arrange the furniture in Cindy's room.

It took all day to get everything settled. From the white sheets on the four poster flea market bed, to the clothing in the dressers, and the posters on the walls.

"This is looking great, Cin," Laura grinned, her long brown hair ruffling in the breeze that flowed through the open door of the porch. Laura kept the AC off most of the time to save money, and Cindy didn't mind -- not with that view in her bedroom.

"Yeah," Cindy laughed, eyeing the grand old bed. "I can't believe that thing cost me forty bucks."

"A great buy if you ask me," Ryan said from the doorway, finishing off the rest of his beer. "But I've got to go. You ladies all set here?"

"Up and running," Laura smiled at him, looking up from helping Cindy arrange the sheets on the bed.

"Good," Ryan said, leaning against the door jam as Cindy fluffed up a pillow, throwing it to the head of the bed. "Jack's plane gets in an hour from now. That gives me enough time to fight traffic back to JFK."

"Jack?" Laura asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Ryan said. "Jack Fieldman. Old friend of mine. He's coming up to New York for Lucas. Had his fill of LA, I guess."

"It's a hard town," Cindy said, finishing up with the bed.

"You lived there?" Laura asked, turning back to Cindy.

"Uh-huh," Cindy said, heading off to her closet to hang up some more clothes. "For a few months."

"Well," Ryan said, smiling at Cindy. "Jack's coming from Santa Anita."

"I worked there," Cindy said, getting another shocked look from Laura.

"Exactly how many places have you worked?" Laura asked, laughing.

"Eight or so tracks," Cindy shrugged, hanging up a pair of khakis.

"And she's only twenty," Ryan laughed. "Wonders never cease."

"Hey," Cindy countered, frowning over at Ryan.

"Okay," Ryan laughed, holding up a hand. "I'm off to get Jack. We'll probably go out tonight if you ladies are interested."

"Maybe," Laura said slowly. "We'll see where we can get Cindy in."

"Oh, I can think of a few places," Ryan said, pushing away from the door. "Call me, Laura. You know the number."

Laura rolled her eyes and Cindy smiled, hanging up another pair of pants. And then the door banged shut.


	3. The Life of Brooklyn

3.

The Life of Brooklyn

Later that afternoon, Cindy laid out on her bed, the soft bedding soothing and comfortable underneath her as she stared up at the plain white walls of her room, her eyes glancing over the print of Vincent Van Gogh's Café Terrace at Night and then up at the print of his purple irises over the head of her bed.

The sounds of Brooklyn were dancing through the open windows and the heavy glass and steel door to Cindy's porch. Cars and sirens squealed below her, along with shouts and laughter, and some loud music that faded by. It was very much like LA, Cindy thought to herself, looking out at the city, the colorful flowers on the porch rustling in the hot August breeze.

In her hand she had Laura's cordless phone. She hadn't used it yet, but she needed to. Beth was probably worrying herself sick since Cindy had called days ago, announcing to her mother that she was quitting her job in Baltimore. Cindy knew everyone at Whitebrook was worried about her. She knew that if she came back old arguments would be forgotten and she would get back up on another champion and race to victory. She knew, and yet she had no desire to go back.

Still, Cindy reasoned, looking at the black phone. She would have to call.

Slowly she dialed the number, putting the phone to her ear.

It rang three times before a little boy's voice answered with an imploring, "Hello?"

"Kevin?" Cindy asked, a smile jumping to her lips.

"Yes," Kevin answered shyly, his small voice muffled by the receiver.

"Kevin, this is Cindy."

"Hi, Cin!" The voice immediately picked up.

"What are you doing answering the phone?" Cindy asked, laughing.

"Mommy taught me," Kevin giggled into the phone.

"Well, you did great," Cindy smiled, sitting up. "Is Mommy there?"

"Uh-huh," Kevin announced. "I'll go get her!"

Before Cindy could say anything else the phone clattered against a table and she could hear Kevin's voice shouting for Beth. After a few tense moments for Cindy, the phone clicked back to life again and a breathless voice answered.

"Cindy?"

"Hi, Mom," Cindy said softly, tracing a design on the white comforter.

"Oh my God," Beth sighed. "Where are you now?"

"Brooklyn," Cindy answered, reaching up to push a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm going to be riding at Belmont for a little while."

"For a little while?" Beth asked. "What do you mean for a little while?"

"Well," Cindy shrugged to herself. "For as long as I can. The pay is pretty good up here, so it's likely I might be able to stay for a while."

There was a tense silence on the other end of the phone before Cindy asked, "Mom?"

"I'm here," Beth sighed into the phone, and Cindy could picture her mother sitting down in the sofa, covering her eyes with her free hand.

"Don't you want to know what I'm up to?" Cindy asked.

"Yes," Beth sighed again. "I do want to know. Who are you working for?"

"Lucas Simm," Cindy said. "He's..."

"I'll have your father check up on him," Beth said mechanically. "I'm sure..."

"Mom!" Cindy cut in. "This is Lucas Simm. He's the leading trainer at Belmont and he's won two eclipse awards. Dad shouldn't have to do any checking."

"It would make me feel better, Cindy," Beth said. "You know I don't like you gallivanting around those race tracks by yourself."

"I've been doing it for over a year, now," Cindy defended. "And this is Belmont Park. I know Belmont like the back of my hand!"

"Fine, fine," Beth muttered. "Are you in a hotel right now? Apartments are expensive in New York, Cindy. And it's dangerous up there. I don't want you living alone."

"I'm not," Cindy sighed. "I just moved in with this girl from the track."

"A girl from the track?" Beth asked. "Is she..."

"She's nice, mom," Cindy interrupted, not wanting to hear Beth's drug speech again. "She's an exercise rider for William Lewis at Belmont, she's twenty-one, and her name is Laura Parker. She's got a great apartment in uptown Brooklyn. I can see Manhattan from my room."

"That's a while from Elmont," Beth said critically. "You'll be driving a lot. Are you sure that old truck can handle it?"

"I can ride in with Laura," Cindy said. "She has a new Saturn."

There was another silence on the other end and Cindy sat through it, frustrated and annoyed. She knew Beth had every reason to be upset and worried about her, but there just wasn't any way she could make her mother feel at ease anymore, and especially not after skipping through so many cities in just over a year.

"Fine," Beth said softly. "We'll see how this time out goes. But please promise me that if you leave you'll come back home. Please promise me, Cindy."

Cindy hesitated, swallowing as she considered it. She had been so many places and had failed so many times. It almost seemed as if she was expected to jump ship on Belmont and return home without question.

"Okay, Mom," Cindy said quietly into the phone. "I'll come back home if Belmont doesn't work out. I promise."

"Good," Beth replied, sounding relieved. "Here's your father. He wants to talk to you."

"Cindy?" She heard her father's deep voice after a momentary pause.

"Hi, Dad," Cindy smiled, crossing her legs on the bed.

"Heard you're working for Lucas Simm up there," her dad said, his voice loud and reassuring. It was different than her mother's quiet, concerned whispers.

"I am," Cindy said, suddenly feeling better. "It's great so far."

"Something I haven't heard you say in a while," Ian chuckled. "I suppose you're working as an exercise rider."

"Yeah," Cindy said. "For his second string. A few are headed into some graded stakes next month."

"That so?" Ian asked, sounding intrigued. "You going to ask Lucas about riding a few of them?"

"After I get more accustomed to things around here," Cindy answered. "He said he would consider it. I guess I'll just have to convince him."

"That's good thinking," Ian praised. "Actually I might be able to help you out."

"How?" Cindy asked, frowning. The last thing she wanted was her father's intervention with Lucas. She knew Ian McLean held a lot of sway on the tracks in the east, but the last thing she wanted was her father sticking up for her so she could get rides.

"I'm taking Lady up to Belmont for the next two months for the Gazelle and the Beldame. What would you say to being her jockey?"

Cindy stumbled to a halt, her eyes widening. Wonder's Lady was by far the best filly the champion race mare, Ashleigh's Wonder, had produced to date. When Cindy had left Whitebrook the filly was prepping for the Breeder's Cup, and she had even raced through the Triple Crown. She knew her father was surly pointing the beautiful chestnut toward the Distaff or the Classic. A chance to ride her at Belmont in front of Lucas would be an astonishing turn of good luck.

"Yes," Cindy said breathlessly, without thinking about what others would think when Wonder's Lady stepped onto the track with her in the saddle. "I'll definitely ride her."

"Great," Ian chuckled into the phone. "With Ashleigh retired it's been a tough job looking around for the jockeys we need. Jilly is up in Saratoga, but she retired due to injury. Ann Pierce has moved up here to take care of the big dogs, but she had to ship back out to California last month for a family thing. You being at Belmont is just dumb luck, I suppose."

"Are you heading her to the Classic?" Cindy asked curiously.

"I think Ashleigh and Mike have plans to take her to the Distaff," he answered. "Her times out against the boys have been pretty harsh. We haven't raced her since the Belmont, she was so strung out."

"I heard," Cindy nodded to herself, getting excited by the prospects. "When will you be up here?"

"Well, the Gazelle is on September eighth," he said, sounding as though he were looking at a calendar and considering his options. "We'll probably be up there in about two weeks - around the end of August."

"Great," Cindy said excitedly. "I can't wait to show you around!"

Ian laughed and said, "I can't wait either, Cindy. Your mother and I have been worried sick about you. Now I'll finally be able to tell Beth you're doing alright."

"Oh," Cindy said. "I need to tell you my new phone number!"

"Right," Ian said. "Shoot, Cindy."

"It's 576-3341," she said. "And my address is 1294 33rd Street in Brooklyn. Apartment number 6."

"Got it," Ian said. "Don't be surprised when you start getting letters from Kevin," he added. "He's been sending postcards to everyone in the family."

Cindy just laughed, said her goodbyes, and hung up the phone.

"You thinking about going out tonight?" Laura asked, boiling water over the stove, the multicolored lights casting varying shades of the rainbow over the kitchen counter. The lights had made Cindy laugh at first - they looked so comical - but now she considered them yet another part of Laura's individual self.

"Maybe," Cindy shrugged, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a glass from the cabinet, filling it with water. "Where would we go?"

"Ryan and I know of a place up in Manhattan where you can get in," Laura said, pulling out the bag of spaghetti and pouring the contents inside. "The Black Line," she said, shrugging. "It's a good place and always crowded on Saturdays. They wouldn't even notice you."

"Yeah?" Cindy frowned, taking a sip of the water and setting the glass on the counter top. "Do they just not check?"

"Not if you get there early enough," Laura threw a look at Cindy. "And not if you aren't buying."

"Maybe we can convince Ryan to buy," Cindy said thoughtfully, smiling over at Laura.

Laura laughed and pulled the pot off the stove, moving over to the sink and pouring out the water, straining. "I don't know about that."

Cindy nodded and looked around the apartment, glancing out at the darkening city, the sun setting over the low buildings of Brooklyn, red light pouring into the bay windows of the apartment.

"What time do we have to be there by?" Cindy asked, downing the rest of her water and refilling her glass.

"Before ten," Laura said. "You feel like going?"

"Yeah," Cindy said, walking out to her room. "Call up Ryan."

The bar was smoky and dark, warm and humid from the non-existent windows, and filled with the promise of alcoholic abandon. Cindy glanced around her underneath the dimmed blood red lights, listening to the loud chaos of the crowds around the bar, feeling a little dangerous and new to the scene.

"Here you go," Laura grinned, stopping by the table they had snatched first thing after walking through the door, and producing two tall glasses. "Wonderful, cheap beer."

Cindy giggled, reaching for a glass and holding it steady as Laura poured the amber liquid from the pitcher, watching the white froth accumulating on the top.

"You sure this is okay?" Cindy asked, taking a sip.

"Sure it's okay," Laura laughed, plopping down on the bench opposite Cindy. "Believe me. This is New York, and I'm sure you've done this before so don't give me that look."

Cindy frowned and sat her beer down, nodding. "Yeah, you're right. I did this a lot in LA."

"See," Laura grinned. "Already in the confessing mood, I see."

"Oh, man, I knew we didn't get here early enough."

Cindy glanced up and saw Ryan materialize out of the throbbing crowds, stopping by the table, complete in worn jeans and black leather jacket. "Cindy's already confessing dark secrets? I thought you had more spark in you than that."

Cindy laughed and shook her head. "I'm a light weight," she grinned, holding up her beer to him. "And I'm proud to admit that."

Ryan arched an eyebrow and chuckled as Cindy watched another guy shift out of the crowd, stopping just behind Ryan.

"You going to introduce us to your friend, or what?" Laura asked, throwing Cindy a smile before turning back to the two young men, her long, loosely curled brown hair swinging around her shoulders.

"Right," Ryan said, turning to the other man. "This is Jack Fieldman, fresh from LA. Lucas Simm's new assistant trainer."

He turned back to the table, pointing to Laura. "This brown haired beauty is Laura Parker, rider for William Lewis. And the blond angel over there is Cindy McLean, acclaimed Dubai World Cup winner and new rider for Lucas."

"Pleased to meet you," Laura laughed, taking Jack's hand before Ryan plopped down on the bench seat next to her.

"Hi," Cindy said shyly as she scooted over, letting Jack sit down next to her, brushing her rail straight blond hair away from her face as she shot him a glance, taking in his nearly black short hair and tanned skin. He definitely looked like he had come straight from California.

Cindy couldn't help blushing, suddenly very shy and conscious of the small burgundy tank and black skirt Laura had talked her into wearing.

"Hey," he greeted, settling next to her, giving her a once over before Ryan demanded what beer he wanted.

"Same old," Jack replied, turning his dusky blue eyes to his friend.

"Ah," Ryan laughed, getting up and pulling off his black leather jacket. "Could it be different?"

"My guess is no," Jack chuckled, leaning back in the bench as Ryan dumped his fashion statement on the bench next to Laura and headed off to the bar, disappearing in the crowds.

Laura made a face at the heap of warm black leather before turning back to Jack and Cindy, giving them a radiant smile before turning her eyes to Jack.

"Ryan told me he had to practically pry you away from California," Laura laughed, taking a sip of her beer. "How do you like New York so far?"

"Well," Jack laughed, running his tanned hands through his sun streaked hair. "It's pretty damn intense."

Laura laughed and grinned over at Cindy. "I think Cindy can feel for you. She just moved here, too."

"Yeah?" Jack asked, swinging his blue eyes back to Cindy.

Cindy nodded, stopping her nervous fidgeting with the beer, forcing her hands away from the cold glass. "Uh-huh. I've been here for almost a week now. I still have no clue where I am half the time, but Laura's my guide dog."

"Hey!" Laura laughed, pretending to be offended before turning back to Jack. "You and Cindy have a lot in common actually. She rode in LA too for a little while."

"Really?" Jack asked, less of a question than it was a statement. "Who were you riding for?"

Cindy shrugged. "Ben Valentine," she said, pushing her straight blond hair behind her shoulder.

"Didn't get much out of him, did you?" Jack asked, understanding. "Valentine's always pretty hard to get along with. How long were you in LA?"

"About two months," Cindy said, shaking her head. "I didn't last too long, did I?"

"Longer than some," Jack chuckled, looking up when Ryan slammed down the pitcher of dark beer on the heavy wooden table.

"The plane nearly crashed?" Cindy asked, her eyes going wide at Jack's description of his flight into JFK International.

"Well, there was a huge plume of smoke trailing behind us," Jack said, laughing. "It felt like one of the engines had fallen out of the plane."

"Didn't they tell you what happened?" Cindy asked, shocked that Jack could laugh about nearly falling out of the sky.

"Nah," Jack shook his head, emptying his beer glass again. "Probably didn't want to upset the passengers."

Cindy regarded him for a moment before he smiled at her and said, "Just don't fly Delta."

"Yeah," Cindy said slowly, shaking her head and looking back to the table from the bar they were sitting at, arching an eyebrow at Ryan and Laura who were very engrossed in some delicate matter.

"Do you know something I don't about them?" Cindy asked, nodding over at the table.

Jack glanced at her and swiveled around on the bar stool, taking one look at the two before nodding and giving Cindy smile. "Yeah," he said, picking up his new beer as he turned around on the stool, facing the bar. "They date on and off. They are a roller coaster ride of giant proportions."

"Really," Cindy said, watching them for another moment before turning around, feeling a blush rising on her cheeks.

Jack caught the difference in color and grinned, taking a gulp of his beer. "I hear about it all the time from Ryan, and this has been going on for over two years. They're on the outs now, as far as I know, but that may change any second."

Cindy had gone with Jack to get the next pitcher, and they had returned to a heated argument between the two, leading both Jack and Cindy to decide it was better to wait out the storm by the bar. That had been nearly an hour ago. Since then Cindy had swallowed down three beers and one shot of tequila, which had made her eyes water. She attributed the fuzzy vision and slightly slurred words on Jack, but he was having none of the blame.

Cindy watched him for a minute, sipping delicately at her beer, making a small face that he laughed at.

"Don't like beer all that much?"

"I'm not a beer girl," she shrugged, putting the glass down and raising her eyebrow as he finished off the rest of his glass in a few quick gulps.

"Are you looking to get drunk?" She asked, arching an eyebrow at the show.

"Hey," he defended. "I'm battling off four time zones and the side effects of an extremely long plane ride. Don't judge me."

Cindy laughed at his broad smile and took another sip of her beer.

"Besides," he said, pushing his fingers into his hair, shoving it into a spiky mess. "At least I'm legal."

"Hey!" Cindy hissed, kicking his shin.

"Watch it," he groaned, reaching down to rub his leg through the worn jeans. "That hurt."

"Well, I'm wearing heavy soles," Cindy shot back. "How old are you, anyway?"

"Twenty-Two," he said, straightening back up to his full height, which must have been a full foot above hers.

"Well, I turn," Cindy paused, giving him a look as he grinned at her, "legal on March 30th."

"Great," he said, taking his next beer and tipping the glass against hers. "We will make sure that is properly celebrated."

Cindy laughed and took another sip of her beer, barely noticing when Laura and Ryan came up behind them, looking happier than they did an hour ago.

"Hey," Laura grinned, putting a hand on Cindy's shoulder and eyed the beer glass. "And how much have you had to drink?"

"Most likely too much, I'll wager," Cindy smiled, looking up at Laura in what appeared to be tunnel vision, quite to her alarm.

Laura laughed and gave Cindy her arm. "Well, it's past one in the morning. We should be getting home so you can nurse your hangover tomorrow morning."

"Good idea," Cindy smiled, jumping off the stool and clinging to both Jack and Laura before she tripped on the sandals, nearly falling over Jack's legs.

"You alright?" Jack asked, righting her and standing to his full height, holding on to her waist to keep her from falling. Cindy brushed her hair out of her eyes and looked up at him, nodding.

"Yeah," she smiled thankfully. "I blame you for this, you know."

"Right," Laura laughed, ushering Cindy out the door. "Right now all we need is a cab."

The next morning Cindy laid on the sofa in her pajamas, her eyes closed as the hot summer sun rose in the banks of windows.

"Why I always get up early I will never understand," she muttered, listening to Laura's laughter from the kitchen.

"Good thing we get most weekends off," Laura said over the banging of pots and the microwave's incessant dinging. "Don't worry, though, Cin. I'm making us both a very greasy breakfast."

"You're kidding me," Cindy groaned, holding her stomach. "Please don't say that again. I think I just felt my stomach flip over."

"Greasy?" Laura laughed, glancing at Cindy from the kitchen. "Come on. It helps these things," she said, finishing up the omelets and the bacon, walking over to the sofa and putting one plate on the coffee table.

Cindy peered at it and sat up slowly, feeling the urge to eat something. She wasn't really sick, but she definitely felt lightheaded. She was up for anything that would make that horrible feeling go away.

The two girls ate breakfast at the coffee table, sitting on the floor across from one another.

"So what did you think of Jack?" Laura asked between mouthfuls of egg and orange juice.

"I liked him," Cindy said, biting into a piece of bacon.

"Well," Laura laughed. "If that wasn't blatantly obvious."

"No," Cindy shook her head, nearly choking on the rich food. "No, not like that."

"Sure," Laura laughed. "I know what you mean, Cindy. He probably thought you were hanging all over him."

"We were drunk," Cindy shrugged, tossing her hand up flippantly.

"Come on," Laura grinned. "He was cute. Admit that much."

Cindy rolled her eyes and gave Laura a look. "Okay. Fine, but what about you and Ryan?"

Laura shrugged. "Nothing new."

"What do you mean?" Cindy asked, finishing off her orange juice and jumping up to get another, feeling a world better.

Laura sighed and ate another piece of omelet. "This is how it always goes. We get together, we break up, we apologize, we get together again, we break up..."

"So what stage did we see last night?" Cindy asked, coming up to the table and sitting down again, crossing her legs Indian style.

"Getting back together," Laura said, giving Cindy a smile. "We were apart for nearly two months last time. I guess we'll see where we go from here."

Cindy nodded, watching Laura across the table as they ate in silence, wondering what Belmont would be like tomorrow.


	4. Similarities in Place

4.

Similarities in Place

Cindy leaned against the track rail, barely noticeable among the small crowd that had gathered on the hot and humid weekday afternoon. It didn't take Cindy even two glances to see the kind of people she was surrounded by. Weekdays commonly attracted hard core betters, the characters most tracks had, who shoved their tickets in their pockets, bought a plastic cup of beer, and held it with a cigarette in the other hand as the horses charged down to the wire. The veterans watched without making a sound. The beginners, Cindy had noticed, tended to wear their emotions on their sleeves.

Very consciously, Cindy rubbed her shoulder, feeling the irritating bone throb with the reminder of her recent spill off Wonderland. She snorted at the memory of flipping over the colt's back, one of the more innovative tricks the colt had managed to think up. The work had been going great until the monster pulled up fast at nothing and wrenched his head down, nearly bowing to his knees. Cindy had been caught off guard and had gone tumbling out of the saddle, hitting the dirt on her back.

"Hey," she heard Jack behind her, walking around Cindy's small body to lean against the rail. "Queenie's looking good?"

Cindy nodded, squinting her eyes out at the small group of mares warming up on the far turn.

"George has her going well," Cindy said, her eyes skipping to the blue and yellow silks of Queenie's owners, a well off couple from New Jersey, and the small man who was wearing them, George Sutton. George was one of Lucas' favorite jockeys, and one that he called in to handle most of his fleet of horses. Cindy had met him just recently and enjoyed his humor. He could also handle a horse with such ease it was simple to understand why Lucas used him so often. George would also be riding Star Bank and Luna's Secret next weekend at Saratoga.

Cindy tensed when she saw the first horse, a small chestnut mare, go into the gate. Jack caught her subtle movement and chuckled, stretching his arms and cracking his knuckles.

"What?" Cindy asked, glancing over at the young assistant trainer.

"You," Jack said, shaking his head.

Cindy glanced at him and rolled her eyes. Life around the stables, or what little she had known of Belmont Park, had seriously changed since Lucas had brought Jack on board. Everything was easy and lighthearted when Jack was around, which Cindy couldn't help picking up on.

"What about me?" Cindy asked, looking back at the gate as the last horse, Sunday Rising, slid into the gate, waiting only a fraction of a second before the doors banged open.

Cindy spotted Queenie's blue and yellow stripes as the stocky mare pushed her way boldly through the other horses, plowing up to grab the lead as they thundered by, the mare's small body moving gracefully over the dirt.

"You really need to loosen up," Jack said, turning his dark blue eyes to the herd of mares flying down the track, Queenie a nose in the lead.

"Easy for you to say," Cindy said absently, her eyes busy following the clump of mares, her brain working quickly to decide Queenie's next move. The little mare should relax on the lead and let her head down, roll away from the challenger and swing into high gear on the turn, putting away the competition. From what Cindy saw George was accomplishing just that, settling the mare on the rail and letting her gallop out, pulling steadily away from the other bay on her outside.

"Oh?" Jack said, keeping his eyes on the race.

"Yeah," Cindy said, beginning to grip the white rail as Queenie hit the far turn, her black mane streaming behind her as she pulled further away from her competition.

"You don't know what that's like," Cindy explained. "It's the best feeling in the world."

Jack visibly rolled his eyes and didn't say anything, too busy watching the mares pour into the stretch.

"And Queen City holds the lead by three lengths...followed by Miss Darcy and Silver Swan a half length in third..."

Cindy drowned out the announcer as the crowds began to yell, picking their horse and encouraging her to the finish line.

"That's it, Queenie!" Cindy decided to shout at the top of her lungs, joining with the crowd. The bay mare was obviously tiring, but she was plucky and continued on, pouring on more speed as George pulled out the crop, flicking it by Queenie's eye.

"Just a little further, girl!" Cindy shouted, getting an amused look from Jack, who decided to join in.

"Kick that chestnut's butt, Queen!" Jack yelled, getting a look from Cindy.

"You call that encouragement?" Cindy asked, arching a regal blond eyebrow at him.

Jack shrugged and grinned. "It would get me moving."

"I'm sure," Cindy laughed, turning back to the track to watch Queenie slip under the wire an easy length and a half in front.

"Good girl," Cindy said to herself proudly, happy to see one of her mounts put in a good show. George pulled the heaving mare to a trot in the first turn and wheeled around, heading back to the winner's circle.

"You want to head to the winner's circle?" Jack asked, pushing back from the rail. Cindy turned back at him, suddenly remembering that he had saddled the mare in the paddock. With Lucas already up at Saratoga overseeing Red Army and Bosta, Jack had stood in as the mare's trainer.

"Sure," Cindy shrugged, jumping away from the rail and following Jack's tall figure down to the concrete circle built into the grandstand. They arrived just as Queenie was led in from the track, covered in a slick of sweat and still excited.

"Good ride, George," Jack grinned, taking the mare's reins from the groom. One thing Cindy had learned about Jack over the past week was that the assistant trainer probably spent more time with the horses than anyone else, and Queenie pricked her ears at him, huffing excitedly.

"She was easy as can be," George reported, slapping the mare affectionately on the neck. "Not that she even listens to me. I swear half the time she goes out and decides her own strategy."

"That's what I've heard about her," Jack chuckled, noticing Cindy standing near the photographer and grabbing her before the picture was taken, hauling her next to the horse.

"Jack," Cindy rolled her eyes. "I'm sure her owners aren't going to want their horse's photo sent to them with me in the picture."

"You're her exercise rider," Jack pointed out.

"Yeah," George said, grinning for the cameras. "And who's to say you won't be riding her next time out?"

Cindy couldn't help smiling at the thought, thinking about riding the perfect little mare over the track at Belmont. She had been dreaming so big for so long it felt good to think of starting out simple.

"Maybe," Cindy laughed, her smile crinkling up her eyes as the cameras flashed, Queenie arching her neck and swishing her tail arrogantly, as if she had gotten too used to having her photo taken.

August yielded to September, but the heat didn't quit, especially further north on the road to Saratoga Springs. Cindy sat in Jack's Jaguar, thankful for the wind in her hair and her dark sunglasses that blocked virtually all rays to her eyes.

"Can you even see behind those things?" Jack asked, steering the car easily down the highway, heading further into upstate New York.

"Yes," Cindy said. "For your information they are fantastic for your eyes. All UV light is blocked."

"No kidding," Jack said, arching an eyebrow. "The technology of the western world. What will we think of next?"

Cindy smiled, sitting up in the tan leather seat to see Laura's Saturn in front of them. "How far until Saratoga?"

"Not very far now," Jack responded, inching closer to Laura's bumper, turning on his left blinker and gunning the Jag forward, passing the Saturn just for the fun of it.

"Jack," Cindy rolled her eyes, looking back at Laura and Ryan as Jack passed them easily, sliding back in the right hand lane.

"Did you have your fun?" Cindy asked him, spinning back in the seat.

"Immensely," Jack replied, grinning as he took the next exit, flying through gears until he came to a stop at the next road and turned, heading into Saratoga Springs with Laura and Ryan following.

Cindy loved Saratoga, remembering all the fond memories she had of running Glory and Shining during the summer. Her father had recently purchased a quaint summer home outside of Saratoga, staying there most of the season when Ashleigh wanted to send horses to New York for the summer meets. At the thought of her father Cindy automatically smiled, remembering that he was due at Belmont this weekend. By the time Cindy got back to New York he would already be there with Lady.

Cindy smiled again, remembering the chestnut filly, thinking of the races she would be seeing. Tomorrow Star Bank and Luna's Secret would be running in their Handicaps. The day after that Red Army would try to break his maiden, as well as Bosta, and William Lewis' Titus with Laura in the saddle.

When Cindy had learned that Laura had been offered the ride on Titus she had been ecstatic. It would only be Laura's fourth race, and if she could win on Titus it would put her on William Lewis' jockey list. It was a great break for Laura, and one Cindy hoped to get after she sent Wonder's Lady across the finish line first.

Soon Jack was driving up through the back entrance of Saratoga, going through the gates and over the gravel backside to Lucas' stable, barn 20, where the trainer had his three horses stabled. William Lewis was one stable over, in 21, where Titus was stabled.

Jack killed the rumbling engine outside Lucas' stable, the silver Jaguar sitting quietly over the gravel as they both climbed out, greeting Lucas as the trainer appeared in the doorway of the barn.

"Took you guys long enough," Lucas said, shaking his head. "I was wondering if you'd ever make it."

"Blame Laura," Ryan called, getting out of the Saturn. "She was the one driving like a little old lady."

"Well," Laura scoffed. "I've gotten plenty of tickets between here and New York. It's a speed trap!"

"Sure," Ryan chuckled, slamming the door shut and walking up to the barn. "Those must have been scarring experiences. Jack was riding your butt the entire way."

Laura's only response was a small glare before spinning away, throwing Cindy a smile before heading off to barn 21 to check in with Lewis.

"How are the ponies doing?" Ryan asked Lucas as they walked inside the cool shadows of the barn, getting out of the hot New York sun.

"Pretty well," Lucas said, stopping outside of Bosta's stall. "This one is causing trouble, though."

"As usual," Cindy said, smiling up at the dark filly. Over the past few weeks Cindy had developed a small relationship with the filly, although she was never her rider. This morning she would get to try her out, however. Micky was staying at Belmont to hold down the fort, and Cindy had been sent to Saratoga to fill in until George could get out of Churchill.

"You ready to head out, Cin?" Lucas asked. "I've got Luna all ready to go."

Luna's Secret was a surprising filly. The gray three-year-old had been a wonderful flop at two, and had recently begun to find herself over a turf course that everyone knew full well her parents had never liked. It didn't completely surprise Cindy like it had others, considering the filly's parents were Prized and the champion race mare Lady's Secret. Luna might just be Lady's Secret's first breeding success, considering all of the other foals by the famous Secretariat daughter had nothing going for them besides the famous name of their grand sire on their pedigrees.

"Okay, baby," Cindy whispered to the gray filly, urging her out onto the track, feeling the sudden spring in the filly's step when she set foot on the turf course.

"We're just going to do a little jog," Cindy murmured, turning the beautiful streak of gray toward the middle of the track and urging her into a trot, keeping a firm hand on the reins, her honey brown eyes looking forward between Luna's ears.

The filly was all sweetness and will as Cindy put her through her paces over the bright green grass, feeling Luna jump eagerly when she asked for a soft gallop, beating into the turf with loud thuds accompanied by the filly's excited breaths.

"Slow," Cindy said, watching Luna's ears flick back to her, her pace steady and her head held low, not begging for more, only striding forward.

Cindy laughed when Luna pulled up with a slight touch on the reins, the gray filly shaking her head as Cindy pulled her over to the gap.

"You just may be your mother's daughter," she grinned, patting the filly's neck before jumping off at the gap, sending a smile Lucas' way.

"Looked good," Lucas nodded. "She may be a stakes horse yet."

"We'll know soon," Cindy said, watching a groom collect the filly and lead her back to the barns, seeing Ryan leading down the always upbeat Bosta.

"How did Luna go?" Ryan asked, switching off, handing the big dark bay to Lucas as he took the petite gray away from Cindy, touching the filly's barely wet neck.

"Perfect," Cindy smiled, rubbing the gray filly's nose. "I'm excited to see her go this weekend."

"You still think she can handle the nine furlongs?" Ryan asked, looking at the gray skeptically. "She's only gone up to eight."

"I think she can handle it," Lucas said. "She blew away the field back in July. She'll like this distance, and the field is comfortably light. I didn't see any big dogs in the line up."

Ryan nodded his head, pushing one hand through his brown hair. "Well, let's get her back up to her stall."

Cindy smiled, watching the gray filly go before turning to the bay monster in front of her, setting her focus on the younger filly, being reminded of all Micky's suggestions on how to handle her.

"Micky told me she has a soft mouth," Cindy said to Lucas as the filly danced around him, shaking her black mane and looking around her with wide eyes.

"Yes," Lucas confirmed. "She's pretty bad about it, so try to stay light on her. She'll go sour pretty fast if you do otherwise."

"Got it," Cindy nodded, running her fingers through her blond hair, feeling the sweat already dampening the long locks before she slammed her helmet back on and got a leg up from Lucas.

In an instant the filly was off, catapulting down the track with Cindy barely in the saddle.

"Whoa!" Cindy called, leaning back in the saddle, putting enough pressure on the filly's hindquarters to get the point across. As the filly hesitated, Cindy slipped her other foot in the stirrup and stood up over the saddle, collecting the reins in her hands that hovered over the filly's withers.

"Now calm down," Cindy demanded, using her authoritarian voice that sounded too much like her mother's when she got mad. "We're only going to get a feel for the track, so I don't want any of that insane stuff you tend to do."

Bosta only replied with a violent shake of her head, making Cindy wish someone had brought Queenie with them. The older mare could handle the filly, and Bosta seemed upset without a running partner.

"Hey there," Cindy heard Laura's voice accompanied by a second set of hooves churning over the dirt.

Cindy turned slightly to get a look at Laura riding up on her outside with the well-behaved Titus.

"You looked lonely," Laura laughed, pulling the bay colt down to a walk.

"No kidding," Cindy shook her head, biting back a yelp as Bosta suddenly plunged, taking two awkward strides forward before rearing up and striking at the air.

"No," Cindy growled, sitting tight in the saddle as the filly fell back to the earth. "There will be none of that."

Laura watched the filly with an air of amusement, keeping the quiet Titus close at hand as the filly drew herself up, looking like she was about to burst.

"Mr. Prospector?" Laura asked, eyeing the bay filly.

"Yeah," Cindy muttered, bringing Bosta down to a light jog next to Titus. "How could you tell?"

"Her half-brother looks just like her. You know, the one who won the Derby."

"Right," Cindy nodded, remembering the massive bay. He had been heralded as the next Secretariat after his impressive Derby win, coming within a second of breaking the famous horse's record, before completely flopping in the Preakness and Belmont. He had also been a menace on the track, much like Bosta.

Cindy was grateful when she saw Star Bank walking down to the track, his chocolate coat glowing in the warm sunlight. Bosta had finally tired of yanking her head down, nearly hauling Cindy out of the saddle, but in the end Cindy had won the battle of wills and jumped off of the filly at the gap, waving to Laura as Titus pranced by.

"How was it?" Lucas asked, frowning up at the filly as Cindy handed her off to a groom.

"Crazy and rough," Cindy reported, rubbing at her aching shoulder. "But if that's her nature, that's her nature."

"I know what you mean," Lucas shook his head, watching the filly rear up and nearly strike her groom flat over the head. "We'll see how she goes."

Riding Star Bank seemed like God's gift from heaven after dealing with Bosta. The big, solidly built gelding traveled over the turf meaning business, and the feel of the sure animal underneath her was strangely comforting. Cindy hovered over the saddle of the big gelding, watching his dark brown and sun streaked bronze mane float over his neck as he jogged down the track, kicking up clods of grass and dirt after him.

Cindy just focused forward and gave in to the rhythm, letting the gelding travel at his own pace, knowing she could trust him to handle his own affairs.

"Looking good," Lucas called as she slowed by the gap, guiding Star Bank off the track.

"He's ready," Cindy said, leaning down to pat the gelding on the neck before jumping off, running her hand over the front of his warm brown face and smiling up into his eyes.

There was something different about the gelding. It was something soothing and trustworthy, which were qualities that Cindy didn't often see in the horses she had been near at Whitebrook. Star Bank was an old pro, and Cindy had begun to appreciate that.

"Take him back up," Lucas motioned to one of his grooms, nodding to the beautiful gelding.

Cindy relinquished the reins to the groom and watched him lead the dark gelding up to the barns, Star Bank prancing on the line like he was a colt in his golden years.

The rest of the day Cindy lounged, which had always been rare for her when she was young. But this was Saratoga, and things tended to slow at Saratoga, making the days stretch longer until she couldn't wait to go to sleep only to wake up and start a new day again.

They were spending the weekend at her parents' summer home instead of the usual first class hotel. The moment Cindy had mentioned the house to Laura, her roommate canceled all plans to stay in the grand resort in town and declared that it was time to pay the McLean's housekeeper a visit. Laura had gotten so excited she had invited Ryan and Jack along for the ride and before Cindy knew it there was a Saturn and a Jaguar parked in her parents' driveway.

"Are your parents going to be up here for the Breeders' Cup?" Laura asked from her lawn chair, sipping at her can of Diet Coke.

"Uh-huh," Cindy said, leaning back in her own chair, crossing her legs and watching Ryan and Jack wrestle each other in the pool before deciding to reapply some sun screen to her legs. "They're rarely here, though. But if Wonder's Lady makes it to the Distaff they'll definitely be living here for a few weeks."

"Well, the place looks fantastic," Laura said, and Cindy agreed, looking up at the two story house behind her, painted in a Victorian style of peach and white. The pool was a huge sunken dip in the earth, surrounded in river stones and complete with its own little fountain, ferns and lilies bending over to brush against the running water, colorful gardens sweeping beyond the rock.

"I think I'm headed back in," Laura said, motioning to the water. "You coming?"

"I think I'll wait a few more minutes," Cindy said, inspecting her tan. "I'm going to fry myself a little longer."

"Okay," Laura chuckled before diving into the deep end, swimming out to meet Ryan and Jack.

Cindy relaxed in the chair and closed her eyes, listening happily to the splashes in the pool. It was almost like she was at home, if she thought hard enough, remembering Kevin and Christina playing in the pool, Ashleigh teaching her daughter how to swim. They had been up at Saratoga only last summer, while Glory's Joy had been running in the Triple Tiara.

"Hey, beautiful."

Cindy cracked one eye open and saw Jack next to her, soaking wet and dripping all over her towel. She raised an eyebrow at him through her sunglasses and caught his lighthearted smirk before he collapsed in Laura's abandoned chair.

"Tired?" Cindy asked, busying herself by pulling her hair up into a hasty ponytail.

"Not so much," Jack replied, looking out at the pool. "Just wondering what's up with your neighbors."

Cindy craned her neck and saw the plume of smoke coming from a bonfire in the yard next to theirs, flames barely seen above the tall fence that separated the properties.

"I have no idea," Cindy chuckled. "Maybe it's a cook out or something."

"With a massive fire in the back yard?" Jack shook his head. "No, Cin. That's the beginning of a keg party."

"How do you know that?" Cindy asked, glancing over at Jack incredulously. "It's only four in the afternoon!"

"Some people start early," Jack chuckled, shrugging.

"Great," Cindy muttered. "Locking the doors tonight."

Jack threw a smile at her, leaning back in the chair.

"Did you like how Star and Luna went this morning?" Cindy asked, remembering Jack at the rail, watching her like a hawk.

"Yeah," Jack nodded, running his hands through his wet hair. "I have no doubts about them, really. It's time for them both to hit their stride. Bosta is who I'm worried about."

"Me too," Cindy frowned, chewing her bottom lip. "She's a wild thing."

"Hey!" Jack suddenly yelled, directing Cindy's attention to the pool. "Break it up!"

Laura let out a yelp and threw Jack a narrow glare before reaching out and dunking Ryan, making Cindy laugh.

"Oh, shut up, Jack," Laura cried, giggling as Ryan came back up to the surface and promptly dunked her in turn.

"That's just too much fun to resist," Jack said, looking over at Cindy.

"Oh no," Cindy shook her head. "There is no way."

"You want to bet on that?" Jack asked her, grinning at her wickedly as he threw his legs off the chair, turning to face her.

"I don't normally bet," Cindy threw back at him, pausing as they stared at each other, knowing she must look like a deer caught in headlights.

Then she jumped up and sprinted away over the smooth rock, followed closely by Jack, who quickly grabbed her and picked her up. Cindy screamed, thrashing her legs as Jack whipped around and threw her into the deep end.

Cindy came up to the surface, sputtering and taking a huge breath as she glared at Jack, watching him jump into the pool, coming back up to the surface with a grin on his face.

"Don't normally bet," he rolled his eyes and laughed, running his hands through his hair.

"Oh, that is it," Cindy pointed at him, darting through the water with her powerful legs and dunking him, starting the wildest water fight she had ever experienced to date and finding herself smiling more than she had in years.


	5. Saratoga Morning

5.

Saratoga Morning

Cindy squatted on the balls of her feet in front of the refrigerator, rummaging through the contents in search of the orange juice. She wasn't having much luck, and she finally quit, giving the grapefruit juice container a dismal stare.

"And what did the fridge do to get that sort of look?"

Cindy groaned and looked up, seeing Jack walk in from the back porch with the orange juice container in his hand, drinking from the bottle.

"Hey!" she nearly shouted, jumping up and grabbing the container from him, getting a startled look. "That is unsanitary and unfair!"

"What are you talking about?" Jack asked, watching her grab a clean rag, wet it, and thoroughly wash the mouth of the bottle before pouring the rest of the contents in a glass.

"You can't just drink it like that," Cindy explained, giving him a steady look. "That's so…male."

"Oh, good," Jack laughed, moving out of the way as she brushed by him with her juice and toast. "I'm glad I upheld the expectations of the male race."

"You did a stunning job," Cindy said, playing along as she sat down at the table, beginning to eat her cinnamon toast, glancing at the paper spread before her. They had about thirty minutes before they had to be at Saratoga, and Cindy had been ready for countless minutes, spending her time making breakfast and trying to find a way out of drinking grapefruit juice, her father's favorite.

"Hey boys and girls," Ryan greeted, jogging down the stairs in his usual track attire - beaten up jeans and a t-shirt - that he would no doubt change for Star and Luna's races.

"Hey," Jack greeted, leaning against the counter.

"Did I miss much?" Ryan asked, opening the fridge and frowning at it.

"Just some small qualm over orange juice," Jack said, giving Cindy a glance. Cindy looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"He was being disgusting," Cindy reported, going back to her toast.

Ryan frowned, giving Jack a confused look.

"I was being male," Jack supplied.

"Ah," Ryan nodded. "I've got you." He grinned over at Cindy, "Good to see you're keeping things in line, Cin."

"At least someone appreciates me," Cindy retorted, rolling her eyes as she finished off her toast and downed the rest of the juice, heading back into the kitchen just as Laura appeared from upstairs.

"We've got to stay up here more often," Laura declared, weaving through the crowded kitchen to open the fridge, frowning at it.

"Grapefruit juice?" she asked, picking up the container and giving Cindy a wayside glance.

"It's my dad's," Cindy explained, watching Laura shrug and carry the container over to the counter, kicking the fridge shut.

"Ah, well," she shrugged. "It's good with sugar."

"You've got to be kidding me," Ryan exclaimed through a mouthful of cereal.

"What?" Laura asked as Cindy opened a cabinet and grabbed the sugar, handing it to her roommate, who eagerly poured it into her glass with the juice.

"Well, isn't that refreshing," Jack shrugged, pushing away from the counter and heading up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Cindy asked, putting her plate in the dishwasher and looking up at Jack.

"Shower," Jack explained simply.

"But we're leaving soon," Cindy responded, frowning. "Ryan and Laura don't have to be at the track until six. We have to be there in thirty minutes, and you're my ride."

Jack only chuckled, pausing at the foot of the stairs. "And until you can learn how to drive a temperamental stick shift, you'll have to settle for being late."

Cindy groaned, putting her hands on her hips and giving Jack a demanding glare.

"Okay, okay," he waved her off. "Give me five minutes."

"Just a light gallop," Lucas said that morning, as soon as Cindy had pulled on her chaps after stepping out of Jack's silver Jaguar and into the barn, seeing Red Army's brilliant coat glowing in the early sunrise as she walked down the aisle with Jack at her back.

"Micky already put a breeze in him before we left Belmont," Lucas said to Cindy, who was speechless as they approached the beautiful colt, looking up at his finely shaped head with large eyes.

"All I need from you is a steady trip to get him used to the surface," Lucas went on, motioning for the nameless groom at the colt's side to take the stunning Thoroughbred out to the track.

"Cindy?"

Cindy could hear her name, but she was too caught up in watching the sure colt saunter down to the track, more collected than any two-year-old she had ever met.

"Cindy?"

"What?" Cindy asked, jumping back into the present, looking over at Lucas, who was giving her a confused stare.

"Are you alright?" Lucas asked, putting a hand on her bad shoulder. "You were spacing out on me, there. You heard what I said, right?"

"Just once around at a light gallop," Cindy repeated automatically as she stepped forward over the gravel, approaching the red chestnut. "Get him used to the track."

"Right," Lucas said, stopping by Red Army's shoulder and giving Cindy a leg up into the saddle. "He's a gentleman out on the track. There shouldn't be anything you'll have a problem with."

"I know," Cindy nodded. She had talked to Micky extensively about both Bosta and Red Army before heading up to Saratoga to take George's place on the young Thoroughbreds while he was coming back to New York. The jockey was expected to arrive at Saratoga in a matter of hours, but Lucas still wanted Cindy to ride Red Army, and she couldn't help but gawk. She hadn't ridden a horse of such caliber since leaving Whitebrook over a year ago.

"Let's move you out then," Lucas nodded, slapping the colt's hindquarters as the groom let go of Red Army's head, leaving Cindy with complete control of the massive horse.

In a few strides, they were already plowing up the track, Red Army's long legs churning through the dirt like pistons in a car, moving tirelessly and gracefully over the earth.

Cindy hovered over the colt's saddle, feeling his strength and his energy flowing through the reins as she kept the taunt, ready to spring him into action if she needed to. Yet, the colt was going on his own accord, trotting up the track until Cindy gave him the signal to canter.

For a spilt moment, the colt threw up his head and jerked out of stride, bouncing down the track before sliding into a perfect canter. The early breezes picked up slightly, ruffling up Red Army's mane and ripping through Cindy's loose blond hair, making it fan out under her dark helmet as she angled the colt out to the middle of the track, setting him into a gallop.

It was so easy Cindy was beside herself. She felt herself grinning into the air as the blood red colt pushed forward, floating down the track as if he didn't have a care in the world, snorting lightly out of red rimmed nostrils and dancing over the dirt, arching his neck against Cindy's hold.

When the gap arrived before her, Cindy was actually dismayed, not wanting to pull the prancing chestnut up. He was a brilliant young horse - so different from the other champions she had handled at Whitebrook.

"Looked good," Lucas said, eyeing the pair critically with his keen eyes. "I think we've got a winner on our hands here."

"I think you knew that before he even set foot on the track," Cindy shot back, slowing Red Army to a hesitant stop by the gap and leaping off the colt's strong back. "He went like an old pro."

"He tends to give off that impression," Lucas said, a smile widening on his face as Cindy led the colt off the track, turning back to see the colt just as the sun rose full over the horizon, rays spilling over the colt's blood red back and turning him into all the shades of red Cindy could imagine.

Red Army took a step forward and arched his neck, his signature white star on his forehead beaming through the red like a platinum light.

Cindy ran her fingers through the colt's fiery mane and smiled.

"He certainly does."

Later that afternoon, Cindy stood in the stands, watching the fleet of geldings and older colts warm up for the Saranac Handicap, Star Bank's first graded event. The race had been graced with blue skies and a mild temperature, the first break in the outrageous heat since Cindy had moved to New York.

The day had moved much more quickly than Cindy had anticipated, instigated by her father's surprise call from Belmont. He had arrived early that morning, and Wonder's Lady was resting comfortably in her stall in barn 18. Faith, whom Cindy knew fleetingly as the daughter of Whitebrook's newest stud manager, would work her until Cindy returned from Saratoga.

The news made Cindy's unusually good mood even more brilliant, and whenever she thought that she would be the filly's rider for two grade one races she had to bite her lower lip to keep from shrieking with happiness. Jack had asked her what was up more than once, and Cindy had only shook her head silently, grinning like a maniac.

"Where does he normally run?" Cindy asked Ryan, bringing herself back to the race at hand. The horses were heading for the gate in the middle of the emerald green turf course, and Star Bank was the number five horse, a perfect position in the field of twelve.

"Lags back," Ryan answered simply. "He'll stalk the pace until the last turn. He's got a great sprint through the final quarter mile, but these are stakes horses."

"No telling where he lies with these boys," Lucas supplied, standing calmly with his arms crossed over his tailor made suit.

"I'm sure he'll do great," Laura said, giving Cindy a sure smile. "Cindy's been working perfectly with him the past month."

Lucas nodded imperceptibly, keeping his eyes trained on the gate as Star Bank entered the metal chute, his chocolate bay body slipping into the stall without a problem. The rest of the field loaded without incident, and suddenly the gates burst open, Cindy jumping on instinct as the bell pierced through the rumbles of the grandstand.

"Topkapi Palace gets away quickly, and it looks like he'll take the lead..."

Cindy drowned out the voice of the announcer, watching the field of horses plough by the grandstand for the first time, the gray Topkapi Palace snatching the lead, with Veritas, a dark bay, a length back in second, and Star Bank pulling into third, skipping across the track to run against the rail.

The rest of the horses clumped together on the rail as Topkapi Palace splintered fractions, stretching out and flying as they entered the clubhouse turn, his dark gray body merely a streak of charcoal against the rail.

George had Star Bank running easy along the white rail, the powerful gelding holding his speed in check as the field poured into the backstretch, kicking up grass and dirt as they went.

"That's Tongo's Bongo running in fourth, half a length behind Star Bank, Elm Wood is running comfortably in fifth with Yellowstone fighting on the inside. That's..."

Cindy leaned forward as Veritas suddenly moved up, galloping fast on the outside of Topkapi Palace, challenging for the lead, and allowing Star Bank room to move forward, inching up along the rail into a hole between the gray and the white plastic pole.

The field was getting closer to the last turn in the nine and a half furlong race, and Star Bank had his head drawn in, George holding him back with all his strength, trying to keep his last spurt of speed for the end. Yet Star Bank wanted to move forward, and with a sudden burst, the gelding had broken through George's hold in the middle of the turn, and was flying up with the leaders.

"And Star Bank has just made a devastating move on the inside!"

Cindy pressed herself against the box rail, staring at the chocolate gelding as he soared by Topkapi Palace on the inside, so close to the rail he was surely scraping George's left boot hard. Veritas was holding on outside of Topkapi Palace, turning into the homestretch with Yellowstone flying up on the far outside to catch them all.

"And down the stretch they come!"

Cindy smiled, watching the beautiful gelding roar down the stretch, kicking in with his final drive to plunge past Veritas and meet Yellowstone's challenge, pinning his ears to the back of his head and eagerly shove his head in front, running away with the lead.

"And Star Bank has shocked this field!" The announcer was crying into the microphone. "Star Bank, an extreme longshot, has won by two lengths going away..."

"Yes!" Cindy cried, throwing a victorious fist into the air as Star Bank slowed in the first turn, George steadily pulling the gelding down to a prancing trot.

"And was there any doubt?" Laura grinned over at Cindy and Lucas, giving Ryan and Jack hugs.

"I'm quite pleased," Lucas said simply, giving Cindy a pat on the back before turning to leave the box. Cindy grinned at the retreating trainer and looked up at Jack's dancing blue eyes before Lucas paused and turned around.

"Anyone care to join me in the winner's circle?"

The rest of the day Cindy felt like she had put back on the rose colored glasses Whitebrook Farm had given her. Star Bank had come out of the race in excellent shape, and Lucas was talking about heading into more graded stakes competition. Cindy knew the old gelding wasn't exactly material for the Breeders' Cup, but after such a stunning victory Cindy felt like the gelding was capable of just about anything.

"Hey, Cin," Jack greeted as Cindy stopped by Luna's stall, the mare's bridle in her hands. "Lucas send you to help with her?"

"Uh-huh," Cindy nodded, looking in on the small gray filly, noticing she was already worked up, her coat darkening with sweat. "He thinks I might be able to calm her down a little."

Jack took one look at the petite filly and rose an eyebrow. "She's always like this before a race?"

"That's what Ryan told me," Cindy frowned, leading Luna out of her stall and stopping her in the barn aisle. "I guess she must pick up on the signals."

Jack nodded, taking the bridle from Cindy as she clipped the filly into the cross ties.

"They did take away her hay net this morning," Jack said, rubbing a hand against the filly's damp neck. "Any horse who isn't blind could put two and two together."

Cindy nodded, rubbing the filly's neck as Jack put on her bridle, careful not to spook Luna, who was becoming jumpy and a little agitated.

"We have a starter here?" Lucas asked, taking a look at the filly's condition as he came into the barn, one of the track vets trailing behind him.

"So far," Cindy shrugged. "She's acting up a little."

"That's to be expected," Lucas said, giving the filly a comforting pat on the shoulder. "She's always been one to work herself into a frenzy before a race. Ryan and I have been trying to find ways to trick her, but somehow she always knows."

"It's that Secretariat blood," Jack chuckled, undoing the cross ties and leading the filly forward toward the vet, who started his pre race exam, looking for the filly's tattoo on the inside of her upper lip and making sure she was sound and ready to go.

"You've got this one on Lasix?" The vet asked, giving the filly a pat on the shoulder after he was finished, nodding his okay.

"Just started her on it a few months ago," Lucas replied. "Worked wonders on her. She hasn't bled since back in April."

Cindy frowned, remembering that Whitebrook rarely handed out legal drugs such as Lasix, a drug given to horses whose lungs bled during extreme activity, such as running in races. Now that Cindy was on the backsides of tracks every day she found this fact somewhat odd, since most trainers used it and swore by it. Cindy had also seen horses greatly improve after being put on Lasix, free from bleeding out.

"Good," the vet nodded. "Well, this one's ready to go. Good luck."

"Thanks, Perry," Lucas smiled, running his hand over Luna's dark gray mane. "We'll probably need it."

For the second time that afternoon, Cindy found herself in the grandstand watching another race, although this time she didn't feel nearly as confident.

"How's Luna looking?" Cindy leaned over to Jack, who had the binoculars focused on the delicate gray filly.

"Uptight," Jack said, pulling the binoculars from his face, his dark blue eyes obviously worried. "Lathered up, too."

Cindy grabbed the binoculars from him and looked for herself, frowning at what she saw. "The heat isn't even that bad," Cindy muttered, putting the binoculars back in her lap,

staring at the gate as the small field of grade two competition got ready to load.

Luna was the long shot of the field, just as Star Bank was, although this time Cindy was rather unsure that the filly could buck her fifty to one odds. The favorite of the race, Gallant Miss, looked stunning and had been racing with grade one competition for the past year. She was also being considered for the Breeders' Cup in November. The rest of the fillies in the field were potential push overs, but Gallant Miss would be hard to catch.

"And Luna's Secret seems to be having some trouble at the gate," the announcer called over the stands just as Cindy saw the gray filly balk hard and swing her hindquarters around at the sight of the gate.

The filly threw up her head, George sitting firm in the saddle as one of the attendants led her back to the metal chute, another attendant directing her hindquarters, pushing the filly into line.

"That's right," Cindy sighed as Luna moved into line, Gallant Miss and Say So filing in after her, completing the field of five.

In an instant, the bell shrilled and the fillies were released onto the turf, with Luna a half beat late. A second later, Luna's front legs crumpled in front of her, the other fillies plunging around her as she pushed herself up, getting her feet underneath her and racing after them.

"Oh God," Cindy groaned, watching Luna speed down the homestretch, chasing after the field as Gallant Miss led into the turn, making her pace. Luna was finished, but the suddenly gutsy little filly didn't know it yet.

Cindy didn't listen to the announcer as she watched the field race around the course, Luna gaining steadily on the field and beginning to catch them in the far turn, laying on a threatening stretch drive.

Gallant Miss had the race in the bag, but Luna wasn't giving up. The little filly dug down, skipping by two horses in a heartbeat as Gallant Miss crossed the finish line the easy victor by five lengths as Luna made her last drive, pulling up on the side of Go Along just before the wire skipped overhead, leaving Cindy breathless.

"Did you see that stretch run?" Lucas asked excitedly, seemingly having forgotten that Luna had come in third. "That was brilliant!"

Cindy had to agree, thinking of the filly's pitiful break.

"If she hadn't stumbled I'm sure we would have been in the winner's circle, or at least second." Ryan said, shaking his head. "She put in a good showing though."

"Maybe a daughter of Lady's Secret, yet," Lucas laughed, filing out of the box and heading for the backside. "Who's up for a celebration?"

Everyone raised their hands.


	6. A Mother's Daughter

6.

A Mother's Daughter

The next morning Cindy sat Indian style on the floor of her make shift bedroom, stuffing clothing and equipment into her duffel bag. They were leaving from the track that afternoon, and a slight headache from the night before and blood shot eyes weren't stopping her.

"You ready to go?" Jack called from down the hallway, and Cindy could hear footsteps coming over the hard wood floor. She and Jack were the only people in the house, since Laura had to be down at the track early to loosen up Titus and Ryan had to walk out Luna and Star Bank in the shed row. Cindy's job was basically pointless now that George had arrived the day before, since the jockey would take Red Army out in the morning.

That left Cindy and Jack alone in the house, getting everything together before they went down to the track.

"Cindy," she heard Jack in the doorway and she looked up, smiling up at him.

"Hey," Cindy greeted, pushing down on a certain spot on the duffel bag before continuing pulling the zipper closed. The bag was pushed to its limits, since Cindy had decided to take a few things she had left in the house the year before down to her city apartment. There was no use leaving them at her parents' summer home.

"Are you ready?" Jack asked, leaning against the doorframe. "It's already eleven. Races have already started."

"I know," Cindy nodded, standing up and throwing the heavy duffel bag over her shoulder easily, getting a raised eyebrow from Jack. Cindy only smiled at him before adjusting the bag on her hip and brushing past him, clomping down the stairs and out the wooden door with its intricate stained glass window.

Jack followed her outside, shutting the door behind him as Cindy pushed her bag into the trunk of the Jaguar, wondering if everything would fit. It had only been a two day trip, and yet Cindy was bringing home so much stuff it looked almost ridiculous.

"Here," Jack said, pushing Cindy out of the way as she tried to slam down a certain corner of her bag in the small trunk. Cindy stumbled out of the way and watched as Jack pushed the bag hard, dropping it in the trunk easily.

"Well, sure," Cindy snorted. "It would be easy for you."

"I guess that's why women keep men around, right?" Jack asked, slamming the trunk shut and pulling his keys out of his jeans pocket.

"More or less," Cindy grinned, sliding into the passenger seat as the car's engine roared to life and pulled out of the pebble driveway, leaving her parents' Victorian home without a second glance.

"And down the stretch they come! Titus has a definitive lead on this field. He's pulling away by five lengths, now seven..."

Cindy screamed at the top of her lungs for Laura, jumping up and down next to Ryan cheering Titus on. The bay colt was plowing down the track, barely breaking a sweat to cross the finish line nine lengths in front, Laura standing up in the stirrups throwing a victorious fist in the air as if she didn't know they had the race in the bag at the gate.

Cindy watched with a smile on her face when Laura brought Titus back to the grandstand, her goggles pulled down around her neck like a necklace and her face splattered with mud from the early goings. In the back of Cindy's mind, she wanted to scream that she should be down there, riding on one of those powerful Thoroughbreds, covered in dirt just like the rest of the jockeys. At this point, she didn't even care what horse she rode, as long as she was on a horse. It had been so long since she had been in a race she thought she might go stir crazy, but then Cindy remembered that she would be riding Wonder's Lady in the Gazelle and the Beldame and she felt less itchy and more at ease.

Titus pranced by, his bay body quivering excitedly as he stopped in front of the grandstand, waiting for the winner's circle to clear of reporters talking to the colt's owners. Titus, Cindy remembered, was a Seattle Slew colt and his half-brother, Silver Slew, had been a stakes winner in his two-year-old season. No doubt people were wanting to get close to the new colt.

"We should get down to the backside," Ryan said, nudging Cindy's arm. "Bosta and Red Army are running in the next two races."

"Alright," Cindy said just before catching Laura's eye and giving her an excited wave from the middle of the small crowd. Then she turned and followed Ryan down to the backside, where Lucas and Jack were having a hell of a time with Bosta.

The filly was a terrifying and yet glorious thing to watch as she heaved and struggled with the two men. The bay filly snorted and reared up, her sharp hooves slashing through the air close to Lucas' head.

"Lucas!" Cindy called out, rushing down the barn aisle as the trainer jerked back, getting knocked off his feet and landing on his back hard, leaving Jack to handle the angry filly. Through the clatter of Bosta's hooves on the concrete, Cindy slid to a stop next to Lucas and dropped to her knees next to the trainer, looking down into his face.

"Are you okay?" Cindy asked worriedly, scanning Lucas' eyes.

"I'm fine, Cin," Lucas grumbled, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head. "Didn't hit the concrete too hard."

"You're sure?" Cindy asked, reluctant to let the trainer up. "You look a little shaken."

Lucas' only response was a deep laugh as he pushed himself to his feet just in time to see Bosta rear up again and slide on the concrete. Before anyone could even bat an eyelash, the filly was slipping down to her rear, flopping over onto her side with a terrified shriek.

"Damn it," Lucas groaned as the filly nearly took Ryan and Jack down with her, her dark body writhing on the cool floor.

Cindy jumped as she made a move to help get the filly up, but Lucas' hand on her arm prevented her.

"Cindy," Lucas ordered, nodding to the doorway as Ryan and Jack worked to get the filly back to all fours. "Run and get one of the vets. I don't care who. I'm scratching her from the race, and we're going to need a vet down here to take a look at the damage."

"Sure," Cindy nodded, turning and jogging quickly out of the barn and breaking out into a sprint.

By the time Cindy had arrived back to the stable with a vet at hand, Ryan and Jack had gotten the filly to her feet and standing quietly in her stall, looking happy and pleased with herself.

"Is she okay?" Cindy asked breathlessly as the vet let himself into the filly's stall, looking over the filly with an expert eye.

"Physically," Jack said, leaning at against the wall and looking tired from the ordeal with Bosta.

"Mentally," Ryan snorted. "She's a maniac."

"Isn't that a step too far?" Cindy asked, raising an eyebrow. She had worked with several hyper horses before Bosta, and to her some of the filly's antics seemed tame compared to Champion, Wonder's Triple Crown winner.

"Perhaps," the vet said from inside the stall. "But there isn't anything wrong with her. Not even a scrape. Lucas is scratching her anyway?"

"Yeah," Ryan nodded, sitting down on the bench outside the filly's stall with a grateful sigh. "Doesn't think she's stable enough to be out there for her first time."

"I've got to say I agree," the vet nodded, letting himself out of the stall. "If Lucas wants anything else after he gets back from the office I'll be around for the next few hours."

"Sure thing," Ryan said, the three of them watching the vet's retreating figure.

"Well that's just great," Cindy sighed, frowning at Bosta evenly. "She probably won't race until she's three."

"That's a little rash," Jack chuckled, looking up at the filly as Bosta stuck her beautiful head out of her stall door, snorting and nickering happily as Jack reached up from the bench and scratched the filly under her jaw. "She'll get her act together."

Ryan laughed and leaned back into the bench, rubbing his left arm that the filly had hit hard while falling down.

"Perhaps sometime this century," Ryan grunted. "Perhaps."

Red Army didn't just walk. The collection of glimmer and muscle floated around the paddock, his mane and tail whisking around his blood red body like flicks of fire, the white spot on his forehead shimmering clearly in the late summer light.

Cindy stood off to the side in the stall, watching the groom lead the colt, feeling a little out of place as Lucas sweet talked the colt's owners, Michael and Annette Covault. One glance inside and Cindy forced herself to not roll her eyes. They were young money, and Mrs. Covault's airy sun dress was all the proof she needed. Mr. Covault was an entrepreneur based in New York and had stumbled across the secret of how to make millions of dollars a day. His wife was someone whom Cindy suspected of bombarding Fifth Avenue and furnishing who knew how many homes. Mr. Covault made the money, and Mrs. Covault spent it. The horses, however, seemed to be something Mrs. Covault had no interest in.

Michael Covault was becoming a name in racing and his horses were spread all over the country. Bosta was one of his runners, as well as several of the other horses in Lucas' barn.

"What are you thinking?" Cindy heard Jack ask next to her. He was leaning against the stall wall as well, his eyes more on the colt than on the owners that Cindy seemed to find so fascinating.

"Isn't that one of those lines you're never supposed to ask a girl?" Cindy asked, smiling up at him.

Jack only shook his head and said very seriously: "No. It's exactly the opposite."

Cindy's smile slipped into a frown and she immediately reached out and hit Jack lightly in the stomach.

"You are so perverted," Cindy accused, rolling her eyes and looking away.

"Hey," Jack only laughed. "You didn't have to take it that way."

"Right," Cindy sighed animatedly, watching Red Army come to a stop next to the stall, George swinging up into the saddle with the call for riders up.

"You two ready to head to the grandstand?" Lucas asked as the owners sauntered off, watching their colt prance to the track.

"Sure," Cindy nodded, following Lucas and the Covaults up to the grandstand where Ryan and Laura were already standing, watching the horses in the post parade.

"Hey!" Cindy grinned to her roommate, giving her a congratulatory hug. "What did Lewis have to say about the win?"

"Fantastic," Laura beamed back, pushing away enough to see Cindy's face. "He said he wanted me to work as a contract jockey for him. Is that not a great stroke of luck?"

"That's great," Cindy smiled, standing next to Laura as the colts warmed up in the backstretch. "When are you going to get the contract drawn up?"

"I'll be signing it sometime next week," Laura replied breathlessly. "He was really enthusiastic, too. He wants me to keep with Titus, maybe even into the stakes races."

"You're kidding," Cindy asked, genuinely shocked. Laura had found her horse, and if she kept with Lewis she could be riding seriously by next year.

"Nope," Laura laughed, shaking her head. "I still can't believe it!"

"Ladies," Ryan broke in, nodding to the field. "The horses are entering the gate."

Cindy spun around, focusing on the gate that had been set up in the back of the field. The race was only seven furlongs, so Red Army would only be racing around one turn. Cindy took a glance at the program she had rolled up in her hand to scan over the other six horses, noticing a few star quality pedigrees. Red Army, however, made up the class of the field.

"Number seven looks good," Jack said, nodding to the gray colt who was heading into the gate, his head up as though eyeing it speculatively.

"He's an Unbridled colt," Cindy reported, raising an eyebrow. "Also has some Raise a Native in his blood."

"What's his name?" Laura asked, peering over Cindy's arm to glance at the program.

"Heavy Artillery," Cindy said, smiling at the name.

"His owner was a military man," Jack explained, nudging Cindy. "A little like Paulson, only less creative."

Cindy nodded, remembering Allen Paulson had always had a thing for naming his horses after military bases and sites. Cigar and Arazi had been two of the most amazing he had ever owned and raced.

Before Cindy could say anything about the colt the race was off and the field broke from the gate, Red Army surging out on the inside to sprint to the lead.

"And Red Army has taken the early lead with Dramatics in second..."

Cindy leaned forward on the rail, watching George's gold and white silks shimmer under the sun as Red Army ran easily down the stretch, his legs moving himself effortlessly away from the field as they thundered down the backstretch.

"Red Army is still in the lead as they go into the turn. Dramatics is coming off the pace...Luther is coming up on the inside..."

Cindy craned her neck to see around a particularly tall person in front of her as Red Army led the way into the turn, George handling the colt easily as he ran away from the field, opening a four length lead as they swept into the homestretch.

"That's it, Red," Cindy heard Lucas mumble as the colt only drew away from his competition. Heavy Artillery was swooping around horses and gaining ground, but Red Army was coming down to the wire alone, leaving Heavy Artillery with no more ground to run on as he slipped past the finish line six lengths ahead and pulling away.

Cindy was exhausted as she slumped in the leather seat of Jack's Jaguar. The only thing that kept her eyes open was the fear that Jack would reach over at any time and grab her knee, making her scream.

At this particular moment, he did it again and Cindy yelped, throwing him a narrowed gaze.

"Would you stop that?" Cindy asked desperately and with frustration. "I'm trying to sleep here, you realize."

"I realize that," Jack snorted. "And I don't want you to sleep."

"Why not?" Cindy whined, slumping back in her seat, getting comfortable again only to tense up when she saw Jack's hand coming for her knee again.

"Stop!"

"Wake up!"

"Fine," Cindy sighed, rubbing her eyes. "I'm awake. See?"

"I'm not convinced."

"You wouldn't be."

Jack only laughed and followed the van as they made their way back down to the city. It had been nearly nine hours since Red Army's race, and Lucas had herded everything together as fast as they could to get back down to New York. Bosta had been a hellion to load, and in the process of persuading the filly to climb up into the van, Cindy had gotten her foot stepped on.

"Why aren't you tired?" Cindy mumbled, jerking when she saw Jack's hand again, finally deciding it was better to sit up. She'd have to help unload the horses at the track anyway. It was best to just stay awake.

"I am tired," Jack reasoned. "I need someone to talk to or I might drive off the road."

"Ah," Cindy rolled her eyes. "Now you tell me."

"Come on, Cin. For a guy who has to go get on a plane in twenty-four hours you can at least amuse me."

"Wait," Cindy held up a hand, glancing over at Jack's profile in the car. "Where are you going?"

"Sunny California."

"Why?" Cindy asked, actually intrigued. She'd gotten so used to Jack being around in the past few weeks that she didn't know what being at Belmont would be like without his glowing personality.

"Two reasons," Jack said. "Not very important."

"Hey," Cindy pointed out. "You wanted to talk."

"True," Jack shrugged. "The first reason is business related. I'm headed out to look at weanlings for the Covaults at this huge auction Ridgeway Farms has every year."

"Weanlings?" Cindy asked. "What training facility do they use?"

"Stone Creek," Jack said, stretching and raising his hand to press it against the ceiling of the car as he drove, the Jaguar's headlights beaming on the back of the horse van in the dead of night.

"Ah," Cindy murmured as if the name meant something to her.

"It's California based," Jack said, finishing with his stretch and looking over at her with a smile.

"Ah," Cindy smiled back. "I see then. So what's the other reason?"

"What other reason?" Jack asked, as though playing dumb.

"For going to California," Cindy clarified with a playful roll of her eyes. "You said there were two."

"Did I?"

"Yes."

"Right."

"So what would that be?" Cindy asked, arching an eyebrow at him as she dug in her purse for her water bottle, opening the cap and taking a sip.

"That would be to pick up my girlfriend."

Cindy nearly choked, winding up nearly spitting the water out onto the floor of the car.

"Cin?" Jack asked, glancing over at her with concern. "You going to be okay over there?"

"In a second," Cindy managed to say through coughing, shaking her head and taking another sip of water.

"Your girlfriend?" Cindy asked, shocked.

"Yeah, Cindy," Jack laughed. "Is it that hard to believe?"

"No," Cindy frowned, looking straight forward. "I just didn't think you had one is all."

"Seriously?" Jack asked, looking highly amused.

"Well, yeah," Cindy shrugged, acting rather meek. "You just..."

"Don't look like I have a girlfriend," Jack laughed. "That's pretty funny, actually."

"Thanks," Cindy sighed, not seeing the humor. "When are you getting back?"

"Audrey and I should be back by mid September."

"Ah," Cindy said simply, feeling suddenly odd and shaken. Audrey was her name, and from the context clues this Audrey girl would be coming to New York most likely to stay. Cindy was quiet for a moment, wondering exactly why she felt like mourning this.

"You okay, Cin?" Jack asked, looking over at Cindy, his dark blue eyes black in the dark.

Cindy looked over at him and nodded. "Yeah, sure."

They were silent the rest of the way, and the lights of New York beaming on the horizon were not a comfort.

When they got to Belmont, Cindy helped unload the horses quickly before transferring her bags from Jack's car to her big blue truck. Laura and Ryan had already headed back into the city, and the Cindy meant to follow them soon. But after Jack had left, the tail lights of his Jaguar fading past the guard station, Cindy felt the need to head to barn 18 and reacquaint herself with an old friend.

"Good night, Lucas," Cindy called into the office at the trainer, who was gathering a few things before heading home.

"Sure, Cin," Lucas nodded. "See you tomorrow."

Cindy smiled at him in return and headed off for barn 18, walking over the gravel quietly. The track was eery at night, with only a few lights cutting through the dark. Cindy remembered everything her mother had told her about tracks, and she knew to take her mother's advise seriously as she slid her right hand into her pocket and felt for her keys.

Barn 18 came up rather quickly and Cindy slid inside, looking around her slowly for a moment, letting her eyes adjust to the light. She didn't know what stall Wonder's Lady was stabled in, but she was sure she could find the filly.

Quietly, Cindy walked up the aisle, looking in on dozing horses and glancing at temporary names pasted to doors. Then she stumbled across the masking tape sign on stall 21. Wonder's Lady.

Cindy walked up to the stall and peered inside, smiling when she saw the beautiful honey chestnut mare dead asleep in the straw. Cindy leaned against the stall door and smiled, her eyes lighting up unconsciously.

"I swear I left it right by her stall," Cindy heard a feminine voice and she jumped, looking over at the door to the barn as it slid open, a girl in her mid teens walking in and immediately stalling when her eyes stopped on Cindy.

"Cindy?" The girl asked, and Cindy smiled, remembering Faith Churchill as though it were yesterday.

"Hey, Faith," Cindy laughed, pushing away from the filly's stall to walk up to the girl and give her a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Faith grinned, looking around her. "How's Belmont?"

"It's great," Cindy said, her smile widening. "I didn't think I'd ever be able to say that, but yeah. It's great so far."

"Cindy?"

Cindy looked past Faith and her eyes lit up when she saw her father walk in, looking just like always, complete with khaki pants and a white polo shirt.

"Hi, Dad!" Cindy cried, jumping into her father's arms and hugging him hard.

"Cindy," Ian laughed, patting Cindy on the back and hugging her back, pausing to hold her at arms length. "Hopefully I'll be able to tell your mother everything has been going alright."

"Everything is great," Cindy smiled. "I just got back in from Saratoga. Lucas has a bomb shell colt who just won his first race by six lengths."

"Really?" Faith asked, raising her eyebrows. "What's his name."

"Red Army," Cindy reported. "Lucas is thinking the Breeders' Cup for him."

"That's great, Cindy," Ian pronounced. "Have you been able to work with this colt much?"

"No," Cindy shook her head, dismissing it with a wave of her hand. "I've been working with another string of horses, but things are really looking up. One of my regulars just won a stakes the other day, as a matter of fact."

"That's excellent," Ian nodded, patting his daughter on the back. "Did you get a chance to see Lady?"

Cindy laughed. "Yes. She's a heavy sleeper. I don't think a barn fire could wake her up."

Faith chuckled and nodded. "She's always been like that. Oh! There's my camera."

The young girl rushed up to the stall, grabbing the black object off the stool next to the mare's stall.

"Can't very well go sight seeing tomorrow without a camera," Ian laughed.

"You're going around tomorrow?" Cindy asked, grinning. "I can take you around and show you my apartment. I bet you'll love it. And you have to meet Laura."

"Alright," Ian nodded, smiling wide. "Of course you can take us around. I've wanted to see everything you've been up to. What do you say, Faith?"

"I am up for anything," the girl grinned, walking back up to them after snapping a picture of father and daughter, smiling like never before.


	7. Bitter Realities

7.

Bitter Realities

Cindy woke up in her soft white bed to the shrill sounds of the alarm clock. Groaning, she rolled over and hit at the clock, slapping the snooze button and dropping back down to the fluffy pillows, looking out the window.

There was a cool breeze coming off the street and up through the cracked windows of Cindy's room, smelling like morning rain and asphalt. Cindy blinked her eyes at the windows and discovered it was drizzling by the dew on the glass panes.

When the alarm clock went off again, Cindy pushed herself out of bed and turned off the alarm, letting her bare feet touch the cool hard wood floor.

Cindy loved summer mornings. The brief few hours of cool and crisp air that saturated her bedroom was something she always looked forward to and remembered once the day turned blinding with heat and humidity. It was especially bad in New York, with the sewers steaming and the dirty smells rising off the alleyways.

Cindy wandered into the bathroom that she shared with Laura and turned on the shower, stripping herself and stepping into the warm jet of water. She remembered in the back of her head that Jack had probably already left for California. Cindy frowned at the multi-colored tile of the shower, reaching for her shampoo bottle and slathering her palm with golden goo before rubbing it into her hair. Jack was going to California. Jack had a girlfriend he was bringing back with him.

"Why the hell do I care if Jack has a girlfriend?" Cindy asked herself out loud, getting frustrated. It wasn't like she had known him very long, and it definitely wasn't like she was jealous.

Her only answer was a roll of her eyes before rinsing out her hair and finishing up, stepping out of the shower with a plume of steam and trooping back into her bedroom to get ready for the day.

"Hey, Cindy," her father called as Cindy parked outside barn 18, jumping out of the baby blue cab and shutting the door with a metallic clang behind her.

"Hi, Dad," Cindy grinned, walking up to the entrance of the barn. "Not a very nice morning, huh?"

Ian McLean chuckled and looked up a the angry sky through the light of the full moon. "No, it isn't. But I think we can work around that."

"How's the track?" Cindy asked, stepping out of the drizzle as she pulled her thick blond hair in a low ponytail.

"Not too bad," Ian said, walking with Cindy down to Lady's stall. "Faith and I had a look a few minutes ago and it's still pretty fast."

"Good," Cindy nodded, stopping outside the chestnut filly's stall, and looking in on the gorgeous filly.

"God, she's a beauty," Cindy murmured, smiling as the three-year-old champion lifted her head and turned to look at Cindy inquisitively, pricking her slender ears. Lady had the build of Wonder. Small and compact and delicate. She had slim legs and were correct and hard. Her back was short and led to powerful hindquarters.

"No wonder she beat colts in the Belmont," Cindy chuckled, resting a hand on the filly's dark muzzle as Lady came up to the stall door, hanging her head over the stall guard.

"She's got stamina," Ian nodded, taking the chestnut filly out of her stall. "No doubt about that."

Lady followed Ian into the cross ties, standing casually and looking about her with interest, turning her honey brown eyes to Cindy. The filly did look almost like a duplicate of Wonder, except her white stripe curved over her face, ending off center over her right nostril, and she was missing a pair of socks on her front feet. Other than that, Lady and Wonder would have looked identical.

"Did you tell Lucas Simm about our arrangement?" Ian asked, running a hand over the filly's withers and down her legs, taking a look at Lady's hooves.

"Everything is fine, Dad," Cindy shrugged, remembering that she hadn't told Lucas. It just didn't seem so important, and she didn't want to seem like she was running back to Whitebrook in telling him that she was riding Wonder's Lady, the Bluegrass and Belmont Stakes winner, in two important races. She had gotten to the track early to work Lady, figuring that if it didn't interfere with working Lucas' string, everything would be fine.

"Good," Ian nodded, turning around as Faith brought in the tack for the filly.

"Morning, Cin," Faith smiled, handing the light racing tack to Ian before throwing her heavy mane of light brown hair behind her head.

"Morning, Faith," Cindy smiled back, walking up to the filly as Ian tacked Lady up.

"So what's on the schedule today?" Cindy asked, putting a hand on Lady's beautifully arched neck.

"A five furlong breeze," Ian said without looking up, his concentration centered on the saddle as he fit it on the filly's back. "Her race is in less than a week, and I wanted to get her set and used to you by then. Faith has been working her for the past month since Ann left, but I'm sure she'll go fine with you."

"Why did Ann leave?" Cindy asked, remembering the girl from back when Glory had been racing in the spring of his four-year-old season. Ann had ridden him once, but was more the regular rider for In Shadows, a big black colt Ashleigh had bought and then sent to stud at Ann's family breeding farm in California, which her mother had left Whitebrook for when her father had died of cancer, leaving the farm to her in the will. Only when Ashleigh couldn't ride anymore had Ann come back to Whitebrook, helping out with the horses.

"Just a family thing," Ian shrugged. "I believe her mother was getting remarried, and Ann was going to help out at the farm while Laurie was on her honeymoon."

"Oh," Cindy nodded, remembering how industrious and helpful Ann had always been. Then she felt bad all over again for disliking her in the beginning. "So she'll be back at Whitebrook, then?"

"Uh-huh," Faith grinned, patting Lady's flank. "She's going to be up on Lady for the Distaff."

"I see," Cindy smiled, trying not to feel like filler for Ann's absence.

"Alright, ladies," Ian chuckled, un clipping the cross ties and leading the filly forward. "We are ready to head out. Are you ready, Cindy?"

"As always," Cindy nodded, wiping her hands on her chaps before following Ian out of the barn, looking around her for Lucas and his string. It was fifteen till five, and Lucas had started to take his horses out later than usual, around five fifteen. Cindy figured she could jump on Lady and get to Lucas' barn without even being noticed.

"Faith," Cindy said, reaching out and touching the younger girl's arm as they walked behind Ian, Lady's hard hooves clopping and scrapping against the gravel of the backside in the dark morning hours.

"Tell me how she goes," Cindy insisted, falling into step next to the younger girl. Faith had been at Whitebrook a little over a year, and Cindy remembered that she had always had a fondness for the chestnut filly.

"She's actually really easy to ride," Faith shrugged. "She's fine with whips, and her mouth is almost hard as a rock. She can get a little temper sometimes, so watch out."

"A little like Princess, then," Cindy murmured to herself, remembering the upbeat filly of Wonder's who had always had difficulties in training, not to mention the Townsends had been her primary conditioners. Cindy frowned at the mere mention of the co-owners of Wonder and all her foals, realizing suddenly that Brad and Lavinia would probably be trooping around Belmont in a few days acting like they owned the place.

"Will the Townsends be up here?" Cindy asked mournfully, wishing her father would say no.

"Unfortunately," Ian sighed, stopping Lady by the rail of the gap and giving the beautiful little filly a pat on the neck before Cindy launched into the saddle, settling herself above the delicate filly.

"I expect Brad and Lavinia are already at their house in Long Island," Ian said, holding Lady as the filly starting to huff and dance in place, eyeing the track expectantly. "But right now we're just going to do a breeze. Loosen her up a lap and then start her at the three eights pole."

"Got it," Cindy nodded, pushing down her hard hat and zipping up her blue windbreaker before heeling the filly out onto the track, Lady lowering her head and striding out with powerful and springy steps.

"Good girl," Cindy murmured, feeling the filly prance underneath her, churning up the dirt and toss her honey chestnut head.

Wonder foals were always something, Cindy realized as Lady slipped into a canter, rocking her way up the dirt track as easy as could be. Cindy herself had only ridden three of Wonder's foals. Wonder's Pride, Wonder's Champion, and Wonder's Warrior. Pride had been easily the sweetest of the three, and probably the most willing. Champion was by far the opposite of Wonder as he could get, being big and dark and burly. Then there was Warrior, who, with all his handsome dark looks, couldn't fool anyone. Warrior was a race horse through and through, and resembled his sire, Dominion, more than his dam. Cindy had ridden him once, knew he had never been made for her to ride, and had sat back in the grandstand to watch him pummel the fields.

Lady snorted, riding along easily as Cindy began to crouch in the saddle, feeling the filly's sure strides as they made their way up the track going faster with each step. Lady wasn't like the others. She was small and delicate, dancing her way around the track rather than beating holes into it. This filly had racing figured out.

"Come on, girl," Cindy whispered into the filly's ears, clucking to her with her tongue to set Lady into a gallop, grinning at the ease in which Lady switched gears, angling in toward the rail.

"That's it," Cindy murmured, rising forward in the saddle and looking hard over the filly's head, watching the track spread out in front of her, finding the pole that was rushing up to them faster and faster.

"Now!" Cindy called, pushing Lady and feeling the filly open up, throwing herself forward into a dead run.

Lady poured her speed into the breeze, her hooves striking the ground in a staccato beat as they swung around the turn, taking every furlong faster than the last as Cindy flew along with the ride.

"That's it," Cindy grinned excitedly, feeling the sudden urge to ride horses like this every day, to feel their harnessed power that lashed out on the track. "Come on, Lady. Give a little more, girl."

Lady responded to Cindy's slight urging, flying out faster through the last furlong as she flicked by the wire, her honey red mane and tail whipping out behind her as Cindy stood up in the saddle, a brilliant grin on her face.

"I still can't believe that time," Faith grinned through a mouthful of food. "Fifty-four seconds flat. And she went the last furlong in just over ten seconds!"

"She's an exceptional filly," Ian chuckled, finishing off his fries.

Cindy smiled at them and took a sip of her Coke, trying to listen to everything they said through the grinding rock music at the Hard Rock Café. Faith had never been to one, and when she had seen the rear end of a Cadillac sticking through the building she had to go inside.

The tour of the city had gone excellently. So far they had wandered through Central Park, through Times Square, and into Wall Street. It was already dark by the time they had stumbled onto the restaurant.

"Well, you have to try some real New York food down in Brooklyn tomorrow," Cindy laughed, changing the subject as she picked at the remainder of her fries. "What you've seen here is nothing."

"This has been so great," Faith laughed, sitting back in her chair. "I can't wait to see where you live. I bet it's fantastic."

"I have a great view of Manhattan," Cindy admitted, smiling at the younger girl. She could remember back when Faith had first come to Whitebrook with her father and younger sister, Erin. They had all been fairly torn up after a rocky divorce, leaving Faith's father in charge. Cindy had felt for the girl then, but the time at Whitebrook had left Faith looking happier. Cindy frowned, remembering the wonderful moments Whitebrook had offered her, trying to make them outweigh the bad. The farm would always be bittersweet to her. All Cindy had to do was think of Glory's Joy, and all of Cindy's happy Whitebrook memories were washed away.

"Let's go ahead and get out of here," Ian said, stifling a yawn. "We've got a filly to take care of tomorrow morning, and I know Cindy has a string of horses to work besides Lady."

Ian insisted on paying for the food, forcing Cindy to put her credit card away. Then they walked out into the streets of New York, the lights dazzling down over them.

The next few days whipped by. Cindy finished up with Lady in time to meet Lucas' string on time everyday, working with each horse in turn. Lady's race date slowly approached until the day before, and Cindy was such a bundle of nerves that even Queenie was acting up underneath her.

"Cindy!" Lucas called from the gap as soon as Cindy pulled up a sweaty Queen City from her breeze, feeling upset and dismayed by the usually even-tempered mare's behavior.

"What's all that about?" Lucas asked as soon as Cindy walked Queenie off the track, wincing at Lucas' tone.

"I'm sorry," Cindy frowned, jumping off the mare and giving Queenie an apologetic pat on the neck. "I'm just feeling off."

Lucas eyed her with some suspicion before giving her a short nod.

"Was the time horrible?" Cindy asked, hating to have ruined the filly's chances at another race in the next month.

"No," Lucas shook his head. "The time was decent. Go ahead and hand Queenie off. I want to talk to you in my office."

Cindy stopped short, her mouth dropping open. "What?" She stammered, her eyes going wide.

"It's nothing to worry about, Cin," Lucas said, already heading back up to the barns. "Just hand off the filly and come to my office. I need to talk to you about something."

Cindy groaned under her breath, leaning against the sweaty filly as she followed after the trainer, hating that mysterious quality employers and teachers used on people.

"Sorry," Cindy whispered to Queenie as they walked into the barn, a groom waiting for them. "I promise the next time out I'll be a little more with it."

Queenie only gave out a tired snort as Cindy relinquished the reins to the groom, letting the filly go before taking a big breath and heading into Lucas' office, sliding in quietly through the Far Side plastered door.

"Hi, Lucas," Cindy said, keeping her eyes down, feeling ridiculous.

"Cindy," Lucas said, rustling through some paper. "Sit down."

Cindy nodded and collapsed in one of Lucas' chairs across from his desk, looking at him dismally. She just knew what this was going to be about, and she wouldn't exactly blame him for firing her. She should have been up-front about Lady in the first place.

"So I heard you were planning on running in the Gazelle and the Beldame on Wonder's Lady," Lucas said casually, still searching for something in his desk.

"Well," Cindy shrugged, trying to make it sound a little less final. "It was just a favor, really. Her regular jockey couldn't ride her here, so I was asked..."

"Cindy," Lucas said, finally looking up and giving Cindy a quiet stare. "I'm not mad. Don't worry about that. I just want to know why you decided not to tell me about this. You are my employee, after all. You're under contract with my stable, you do realize."

"Yes," Cindy stammered, partially glad she wasn't going to be fired and partially more upset as she tried to find a reason for not telling Lucas. "I just supposed it wouldn't be a big deal."

"Cindy," Lucas said, leaning back in his chair. "It hasn't been a big deal. You've gotten here on time for works and until today you seemed very motivated. I can understand nerves are running high today. I just want to know why you didn't tell me about this."

Cindy took a big breath and sighed. "I didn't want it to look like my father might have some sort of sway over any decisions you may make by having me ride Wonder's Lady in those two races. I just wanted..."

Lucas interrupted her with deep laughter, making Cindy's previous shy blush turn red as she began to frown.

"What?" Cindy asked as Lucas continued to laugh, shaking his head.

"Cindy," Lucas grinned. "Your father isn't going to have any sway over my decisions concerning you and jockeying for me. Riding a proven champion around a racetrack doesn't prove much."

Cindy automatically winced at Lucas' words, being reminded by the sheik's opinions that hadn't been very far off from these. Champion won in spite of you. Those words seemed to run around in Cindy's head like a mantra.

"I'm sorry, Cin," Lucas said, his laughter grinding to a halt when he realized Cindy wasn't laughing also. "I know all about your history with Whitebrook, and your riding on Champion at the Dubai World Cup. I know you're an excellent rider, but I can't put blind faith on you. You know that."

"I know," Cindy nodded.

"It's fine with me if you want to ride in those races," Lucas went on. "Your father doesn't need the credentials that other trainers around here need. But I sincerely hope you do well in those races."

"Thank you," was all Cindy could say at the moment, her throat closing up on itself. She had known in the back of her mind that riding Lady in those races wouldn't mean much to the trainers at Belmont. She had been so eager to ride that she hadn't even thought about how unprofessional it might look.

"I'll make sure to watch the race tomorrow," Lucas said, nodding to Cindy as she got up and headed for the door. "Good luck, Cin."

"Thanks, Lucas."

The next day was miserable. Dark clouds had covered the sky and let out a downpour that refused to stop, successfully quenching the heat and turning the track into a pitiful ring of sticky slop.

Cindy stood inside barn 18, watching the rain slap against the gravel and form little puddles in the few dents in the courtyard. The rain continued getting heavier, and by the looks of things the clouds were here to stay for the next few days, putting training and racing into the category of things Cindy definitely didn't want to do.

"What do you think?" Cindy asked her father as they stood inside the barn, surveying the conditions.

"We're still go," Ian said, looking up at the ominous sky. "The track is slop, but Lady never minded it before. I had one of the farriers put the caulks on her an hour ago."

Cindy nodded, knowing most horses had to run with special shoes to get a firm footing in the mud.

"You should be heading down to the jockey's room, Cin," Ian added, taking a look at his watch. "Faith and I can get things settled with Lady here. We'll see you in the paddock later."

"Alright," Cindy nodded, grimacing at the sky before making a mad dash out of the barn. "I'll see you then."

The rain had lightened up as Cindy stood in the paddock of Belmont Park, watching the horses walk through the large fat drops of water. Lady was soaked and high strung, tossing her beautiful head as Faith led her around the enclosure, the filly dancing eagerly on the lead rope.

Cindy snorted at the rain, finding that the only thing good about it was that the Townsends had opted to stay in their box in the grandstand than chance getting wet in the paddock.

"Now you've seen the tapes of her last performances," Ian said, giving Cindy one last minute preparation. "Hold her back to at least sixth before making your move in the stretch. It's okay if she drops back further than you think she should. So far she's been different from most of Wonder's foals. She and Warrior like to run behind the pace."

"I got it," Cindy nodded, watching the horses mill past, several of the fillies looking upset and dismayed by the rain. All the fillies in the race were grade one winners, three year olds coming off runs in the Kentucky Oaks and the Triple Tiara. Lady, of course, had been running in the Triple Crown, placing in the Derby and the Preakness before winning the Belmont in a magnificent stretch duel with Austin, a brilliant bay colt expected to be the favorite in the Breeders' Cup Classic in November.

"Remember," Ian said, nodding to the dark bay filly that pranced past. "Slew's Angel is the one to beat. She's one of Surfside's, and won the Kentucky Oaks and the Acorn Stakes."

Cindy nodded, taking a good look at the filly. Slew's Angel looked exactly like her dam, a plain bay in appearance, but perfectly balanced. She had the presence of her grandsire, Seattle Slew, in her blood.

There were five other fillies in the race, including Black Eyed Susan winner Ten Item Limit, the gray Tale of the Dove who had won the Mother Goose Stakes, Think Positive who had won several big Santa Anita stakes early that year, the chestnut Dolabella who had won the Coaching Club American Oaks, and Storm Girl who was racing for her first time outside of Canada.

All the fillies were exceptional, and the way Cindy was looking at the horses made her realize it had been some time since she had been in the presence of such caliber.

Faith led Wonder's Lady up to the stall, grinning underneath her hooded windbreaker. "They're about to call for riders up."

"Lead her in," Ian motioned, drawing Faith into the stall, Lady snorting water from her nostrils and shaking her soaked mane as Faith led the chestnut into the shelter for a brief moment away from the rain.

"Riders up!"

"That's it," Cindy said, looking up and pulling on her hard hat, barely hearing the second call over the roar of thunder.

"Just remember to keep her back," Ian said, giving Cindy a leg up into the saddle. Cindy settled into the wet saddle, pulling the slippery reins into her fingers as Lady snorted at the rein, shaking her red mane as she bobbed her head up and down.

"I will," Cindy nodded, letting Faith lead Lady out into the rain that seemed to be picking up again, bombarding Cindy and Lady as they walked around the paddock and toward the grandstand.

"Good luck," Faith called as she let go of Lady in the tunnel, watching as Cindy and Lady were handed off to an outrider, disappearing on the other side of the stands.

Cindy looked out at the vast track, swallowing a lump that had formed in her throat. The fillies worked their way to the gate, warming up in slow canters and gallops, winding around to the gate that stretched across the sloppy field.

Lady was handling the mud like a champ, Cindy noticed as they slowed out of a gallop, trotting up to the gate with the other first class fillies. Either the special shoes were really working or Lady didn't even mind running in the mess. Either way Cindy was glad she wouldn't have to deal horribly with the weather.

"Load in the one horse," Cindy could hear the starter call to the assistants, who started working with the horses, moving the fillies into line. Cindy watched the fillies move into the gate easily, flicking their ears and snorting anxiously as they were slammed into the tiny metal chutes.

Lady was the last to load, which Cindy was relieved about. There was less of a possibility to get knocked into with the mud being a factor. Lady could get a sharp break and fall back.

"The chestnut," the starter pointed to Lady, motioning her into the gate. Cindy pulled her goggles over her eyes, preparing for a mud bath. Lady snorted at the gate and balked lightly before allowing the assistants to push her into the hole, standing with her legs braced as a man wearing a Belmont Park rain slicker jumped up on the slippery ledge next to the filly's head, holding her straight next to Cindy.

There was a split second before the gates shot open in which Cindy's heart was beating out of her chest. She hadn't done this in so long. It almost seemed foreign to her that she was up on a champion race horse who was about to fling out of the gate like a demon possessed.

Cindy crouched over the saddle and screamed with the gates blew open, Lady plowing out like a semi skidding on ice.

The filly lost her footing almost automatically, as well as nearly four other horses in the race. Cindy reacted automatically, giving Lady all the rein she needed to haul her head down and collect herself, pushing herself back up before her knees fell to the ground.

Lady was up like a shot, Cindy jarred in the saddle but clinging on as the chestnut raced after the field, flinging herself into the race with equal vigor. Cindy soon found herself second to last, running on the outside of Think Positive, the little chestnut filly roaring for more speed.

"Whoa," Cindy ground out, pulling down her first pair of goggles to clear her vision as mud splattered up from the troop of horses in front of them, running easily down the stretch. Lady was hauling on the reins and Cindy hauled back, refusing to let the little filly get rank on her. Dolabella was running up on the rail, and Lady shot after her, pulling up on the outside of the other chestnut, running magnificently through the sweeping turn of the massive track.

Slew's Angel was running freely in first, not having a problem at all with the mud. Ten Item Limit and Tale of the Dove chased after her, with Storm Girl racing easily on the outside of the leaders, giving Cindy a wide hole to dart in and out of.

Still, it was too early in the race to move. Lady yearned to push through the hole, but Cindy waited, judging how much horse she had left in her before taking the move going into the homestretch.

The rain suddenly increased, big drops of water slamming into Cindy's face as she peeled off another layer of goggles, letting the reins slip as Slew's Angel drove into the homestretch, still not putting in her final move.

Cindy heard Think Positive coming on the outside, and Dolabella was beginning to make her move, so Cindy sent Lady up also, finding the hole that was made even wider as Storm Girl ran to the outside.

Cindy let more rein slip through her fingers as she pulled out her crop, swinging it in her left hand and bringing it up to flash by the filly's eye, asking for more speed.

Lady saw the crop and switched leads, suddenly bearing down on Storm Girl and Ten Item Limit, who were falling back rapidly. Slew's Angel was just beginning her move, but Cindy had Lady chasing right after her, flicking the crop back and giving the chestnut a light tap on the hindquarters.

Lady got into gear, suddenly shooting forward at the feel of the crop, passing by Tale of the Dove as Dolabella and Think Positive moved up to challenge Slew's Angel, Lady chasing up with them as the field flew down to the wire.

"Come on!" Cindy yelled, feeling the wind and the mud sting against her face with the force of the rain. Lady upped her speed, shooting through a narrow hole on the rail as she inched up on Dolabella's left side, drawing into competition as the other filly narrowly passed Slew's Angel, running almost in slow motion as Cindy watched the wire flick overhead, dropping off the filly the instant she saw they were past the marker, looking to her right and seeing the four horse blanket finish with Lady on the rail.

"What do you think?" Cindy heard Dolabella's jockey call out to the jockey of Slew's Angel.

"You got it, Gary," the other jockey chuckled before glancing over at Cindy and Lady, who were galloping out after the finish, the filly huffing and snorting mist and spray from her nostrils, her body soaked in rain and sweat.

"Good job, kid," Slew's Angel's jockey nodded to her, raising his crop to his helmet. "I'm Jorge," he said, giving her a smile. "Maybe next time, eh?"

"Maybe," Cindy nodded, giving the older jockey a tired and weary smile before pulling the filly up to a stop in the club house turn, wheeling Lady around to glance at the toteboard, heaving a heavy sigh when she saw Lady's number seven come up in fourth and out of the money.

The result was still unofficial, but Cindy still couldn't help feeling like a let down. Being off the track for over a year and to come back on a fourth place finish? It was hardly grand.

Cindy frowned and gave the filly a pat on the neck anyway, setting her into a trot back to the grandstand where her groom would be waiting for her.

"Come on, girl," Cindy said, pulling off her last pair of goggles that had formed a necklace of mud and plastic around her neck. "Let's go face the music."


	8. Wake Up Call

8.

Wake Up Call

That evening Cindy laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling as she ran the race over and over in her head, wishing she could stop obsessing about it. It was hard to push the events after the race out of her head, but generally Lavinia Townsend's ear shattering voice and Brad's ominous glares had a way of sticking in Cindy's mind.

"Would you stop mulling over it?" Laura called from the bathroom as she prepared to go out with Ryan for dinner and a movie. The new Star Wars movie had come out, and Ryan being himself had insisted they go.

"That's hard to do when the Townsends are involved," Cindy called back, crossing her feet at the ankle, Brad's words fresh in her mind.

I can't believe I agreed to this. I'm not going to stake the future of Townsend Acres and the future of that filly on the ability of a novice who calls herself a jockey.

No doubt the words had stung. Ian had managed to talk Brad down from his outrage, using the argument that it was Cindy's first time up on Lady. But looking back on it Cindy did acknowledge that it was her fault. Had she moved Lady earlier the filly probably would have won. But it was all moot now.

"Cindy," Laura warned, popping her head into Cindy's room still working on her long brown hair. "Come on, perk up."

"How can I perk up!" Cindy groaned, feeling awful. "Not only did Brad have a fit, he also forced my dad to call Ashleigh so he could demand that I be taken off of Lady for the Beldame."

"Wow," Laura said, shocked as she frowned at her disobedient hair. "Did they take you off of her?"

"Apparently Ashleigh tried to calm Brad down, but she caved in. They're going to put Robby Chavez up on her for the Beldame," Cindy said, scowling at the ceiling. She appreciated that Ashleigh did try to stand up for her, but at the same time she knew that Ashleigh had caved in far too easily. In the back of her mind Cindy couldn't help thinking that Ashleigh never wanted her on Lady for the Gazelle in the first place. It was probably all her father's idea for Ann's replacement.

"God," Laura said, putting her curling iron down and coming into Cindy's bedroom, sitting down on her bed. "That's horrible."

"I know," Cindy said, suddenly feeling like crying. After all this time away from Whitebrook, doing nothing other than exercising second string horses at major tracks, the first time up in a race she managed to botch it all.

"It's not your fault, though," Laura insisted, giving her a stern look. "Believe me, Cin. Horse racing is way too unpredictable for it to be just your fault. You have to take in all the other factors. It was muddy, and Lady slipped coming out of the gate."

"Yeah," Cindy frowned. "But Brad Townsend could probably pull off blaming me for the rain."

At that Laura laughed, shaking Cindy out of her stupor. "Would you stop that! You were great out there! If Lady had another furlong she would have blown past all those other horses."

"But there wasn't another furlong," Cindy said stubbornly. "I didn't start on her early enough, and she lost the race."

"That's it," Laura said, raising her hands as if ridding herself from the entire business. "You're too tough to get through. You can't let owners get to you like that, Cin. There are always going to be people like the Townsends out there that are going to use their power and their prestige to put someone down."

Cindy nodded silently, watching her roommate head back into the bathroom to finish her hair. People had always told her that. It was almost a mantra with her father. There were always people like the Townsends. Brad wasn't by any means unique.

Cindy sighed and ran her fingers through her thick mane of blond hair, listening as Laura finished up in the bathroom and ran to get the door when Ryan had arrived.

"I'll be back later tonight, Cin!" Laura shouted through the apartment.

"I'll be here!" Cindy called back, still pondering her ride on Lady.

"And stop thinking about that race," Laura yelled back. "At least for my sake. I don't want you jumping off the balcony, or something. Reliable roommates are so hard to find."

Cindy's only response was to laugh as she listened to the door bang shut and the many dead bolts locking into the doorjamb, effectively locking Cindy into the apartment.

Cindy yawned and kicked off her sandals, listening to them slap against the wood. The day had been exhausting. She had nearly forgotten what it was like to be a jockey, and a jockey in the employment of the Townsends.

Well, Cindy thought with a touch of sadness, who had been in the employment of the Townsends.

Before Cindy could even think about the race again she had fallen dead asleep.

The next week plodded by. Works slipped by until it all seemed like a blur to Cindy. She would visit her father and Faith, but the Townsends had used their power yet again to force Ashleigh into asking Faith to ride the filly during her works. It was almost enough for Cindy to see red, but she couldn't force herself to be upset with or jealous of Faith for working the filly in her absence. It wasn't the younger girl's fault in the slightest, but Cindy was already getting perturbed with Ashleigh, who seemed all too eager to let someone else handle the filly. It was as if Cindy's misjudgement with Joy had sucked out all of Ashleigh's faith in her, and she began to resent Ashleigh even more for not giving her the chance to prove herself.

"What's up, Cin?" Lucas asked as Cindy mulled all this over outside of Lucas' main barn, glaring at the track with eery intensity as Faith worked the beautiful chestnut filly, building up her stamina for the longer Breeders' Cup Distaff in November.

"Not much," Cindy sighed, leaning back on the bench as the older man sat down next to her, offering her a Coke.

Cindy looked at it, noticing it wasn't Diet, but at the moment she didn't care as she took it from him thankfully and popping the top of the can. It wasn't like she was going to be jockeying a horse any time soon.

"I heard the Townsends took you off their filly," Lucas said, settling into conversation.

"More like Ashleigh Griffen let the Townsends take me off," Cindy spat bitterly, getting an instant look from Lucas.

"I'm sorry," Cindy sighed, shaking her head. "That wasn't very professional, was it?"

"I understand, kid," Lucas said, taking a sip of his own Coke as they watched the last workouts of the day. "You've got a history with those people that I can't even begin to comprehend."

Cindy nodded, watching dismally as Faith brought the filly back to the gap, Lady snorting and tossing her head excitedly.

"You want some advise?" Lucas asked, not noticing Cindy's flinch. She remembered resenting Ashleigh and Ian's advice when she was younger, thinking she could make her own decisions about training and riding. Obviously she couldn't, and she had made several mistakes over the years. The biggest one being Glory's Joy.

"Let it roll off your back," Lucas said. "This is horse racing. If jockeys took it personally when a trainer takes them off a horse no one would be getting anywhere in this business. This isn't a sport of playing nice, Cin. You know that."

Cindy nodded. She knew that all too well.

"Right now I need you to exercise my horses, and I need you one hundred percent," Lucas went on. "I realize where you're going, and I'm going to help you get there. Just hang in there, Cindy. It doesn't have to be this hard."

Cindy swung over to look at him, furrowing her eyebrows. But before she could ask him anything he switched the subject.

"Did you hear Jack's back in town?"

"No," Cindy said, automatically smiling. It was an impulse with Jack.

"With this Audrey Sutherland," Lucas said. "They're busy moving into their new apartment in Manhattan."

"Manhattan?" Cindy asked, looking at Lucas as if he were insane.

"I know what you're thinking," Lucas laughed, taking another sip of his Coke. "You know Jack comes from a fairly well off family in California. It's how he got into the business, really. His family runs a small fleet of horses in the tracks out west. Audrey Sutherland is a whole different ball game."

"Unbelievably rich?" Cindy asked, raising an eyebrow at Lucas.

"More like her family owns four Mercedes dealerships in LA," Lucas shrugged. "She's moving up to New York to work at the headquarters here."

"You're kidding me," Cindy said, shocked. Living on a horse farm filled with champions had introduced Cindy to the world of money, but what Audrey was involved in must have to be something else.

"Nope," Lucas shook his head. "And you'd better buck up because he'll be here tomorrow. May even meet the infamous Audrey."

Cindy gave Lucas a wayside glance and laughed. "You don't seem very excited about this."

Lucas snorted and shook his head. "I'm not from rich stock, Cin. I can't relate."

Cindy was smiling by the time Lucas got up, ruffling her bright blond hair.

"Remember what I said," he ordered, heading back into the barn as a phone began ringing.

"Sure thing, Lucas," Cindy called. "Sure thing."

"Oh my God!"

Cindy laughed when Faith saw her studio apartment, the younger girl going stock still to take in the view from the big bay of windows. Cindy had picked the perfect time to show off the place. With the sun setting slowly behind New York, red light was pouring in through the thick glass and set everything in a wash of amber and orange.

Cindy had promised to show them her apartment after treating Ian and Faith to dinner in Brooklyn at her favorite Italian restaurant. Faith had been practically bouncing off the walls of the elevator in anticipation of seeing the apartment, and Cindy was glad that it held up to her expectations.

"This is like a dream!" Faith cried as she rushed up to the windows, looking out over the relatively small buildings to see the huge presence of Manhattan rising above the skyline, Brooklyn Bridge sweeping over the river that glittered with red in the sunset.

"Thanks," Cindy smiled, looking over at her father. "Well, does it fail or meet your criteria as a good place for me to live?"

"It looks wonderful," Ian smiled down at his daughter, hugging Cindy to him before they walked through to investigate Cindy's room and her private balcony.

"Maybe we should take some pictures," Faith said eagerly, pulling her camera out of the large canvas bag that banged against her leg. "Beth has been pestering us for days about you. I think she needs visual evidence."

Cindy laughed, and nodded. She knew Beth could be overbearing and protective, but she was her mother after all. That was Beth's job, and she did it well.

"Here," Faith grinned, positioning Ian and Cindy on the balcony, Manhattan rising just behind him. "That is perfect."

Faith pulled the manual camera up to her face and adjusted the shutter speed before clicking off a picture, advancing the frame. Cindy had forgotten Faith's preoccupation with photography. It was her second love next to horse racing, and Cindy remembered looking at several of the girl's beautiful photographs. In fact, she had received quite a few of Glory and Honor since Cindy had been away from Whitebrook.

"And we have to get one inside the apartment," Faith said, running back inside Cindy's bedroom.

As they walked out of Cindy's bedroom, the door to the apartment opened, revealing Laura toting two paper bags of groceries, Ryan right behind her carrying three more.

"Hey!" Laura exclaimed over the tops of the bags, chuckling as she nearly dropped the heavy bags on the hard wood floor.

"Let me help," Ian offered, taking one from her before she could drop it. "Feels pretty heavy."

"Food for the month," Laura smiled, setting her remaining bag on the kitchen counter. "You must be Cindy's dad."

"That I am," Ian nodded, offering his hand. "Ian McLean."

"Laura Parker," Laura smiled, turning back to Ryan as she shook Ian's hand. "And this is Ryan Lockridge, one of Lucas Simm's assistant trainers."

"Right," Ian nodded. "I believe we've met before."

"Most likely," Ryan nodded, shaking Ian's hand anyway. "Lucas and Whitebrook run in the same circles."

"They certainly do," Ian nodded. "And how long have you been working with Lucas?"

Cindy rolled her eyes, patting Faith's back as Ian and Ryan slipped into racing conversation.

"Faith," Cindy said, smiling at Laura. "This is my roommate, Laura Parker. She works for William Lewis, and is one of his contract riders."

"Really?" Faith asked, her eyes going wide. "You jockey for William Lewis?"

"I certainly do," Laura nodded, shaking Faith's hand. "Have you heard of Titus?"

"I heard a few things about him at Belmont. He's supposed to be a big two-year-old of Lewis'."

"He's my mount," Laura said, smiling at Faith's reaction.

"Oh, you're kidding," Faith laughed, shaking her head. "That's one of Unbridled's, right?"

"Uh-huh," Laura grinned, turning to open the fridge and put away the skim milk she had pulled out of the shopping bag. "And Lewis wants me to ride him."

"Wow," Faith said, looking back at Cindy. "I read a quick write up on him in the Daily Racing Form. People are impressed with debut, and they think he might become a favorite for the Breeders' Cup Juvy."

"He is one of the most mature colts this year," Laura said, nodding at Cindy. "Besides Red Army. But anything is possible at this point."

Ian and Faith talked until dark before Cindy had to drive them back to their hotel outside Elmont. Cindy drove expertly through the crowded New York streets, the baby blue truck handling as well as it could in the choked roads. When they finally got to the hotel, Faith leapt out of the truck, bidding Cindy a thank you and a good night before heading up to the room. They had an early day tomorrow, and Cindy was almost surprised when Ian hung back, sitting quietly in the passenger seat.

"Dad?" Cindy asked, reaching over and patting his forearm. "Are you okay?"

Ian chuckled, reaching over and smoothing back Cindy's blond hair, looking at her closely.

"What is it?" Cindy asked, becoming confused. Ian had never given her a look like this, in all the years Cindy had lived at Whitebrook. She had seen it on his face when he talked with Samantha, his true daughter from a previous marriage, but this was something Cindy wasn't used to. It seemed almost foreign.

"Cindy," Ian smiled, kissing her forehead. "It's good to see you happy."

"Huh?" Cindy asked, almost taken aback. It had been a while since anyone had described her as happy.

"You in New York," Ian said. "You were made for this city. I think you're going to make yourself here, Cin. Despite what Ashleigh had to do, taking you off of Lady for the Beldame, I don't think it's going to stop you."

"Dad," Cindy began, beginning to blush, looking down.

"You know I'm proud of you," Ian said, grasping her shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. "You've really grown up."

Cindy stared at her father, dumbfounded as he climbed out of the car, slamming the door shut and looking through the open window.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Right," Cindy nodded, watching her father nod and turn away, walking toward the hotel, Cindy watching him quietly through the truck's dirty windshield before smiling and heading back to the city.

The next day Cindy was up on Star Bank, galloping the gelding around the sweeping green of the turf course, barely noticing when a sleek silver Jaguar entered the back gate and crawled into the backside, a plume of dust whirling behind it.

The chocolate brown gelding was putting his heart into the gallop, and Cindy had her hands full as he yanked his head down, straining her arms.

"Whoa," Cindy pulled back, making the dark gelding throw his head up, his legs lifting high over the grass, looking like an animated carousel horse with his rich mane flowing luxuriously behind him. Cindy established her presence on the gelding's back, jerking lightly on the reins several more times before the gelding settled down again, snorting as he slowed into a canter, loping out of the grass circle and onto the dirt track as Cindy headed him for the gap.

"In coming!"

Cindy jumped and almost panicked as she turned around, seeing Faith canter up on the outside with Lady, the chestnut filly snorting playfully, her amber head held high as Faith brought the mare down to a trot and a walk next to Cindy and Star Bank.

"Jesus," Cindy breathed, letting out a huge breath. "You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry," Faith smiled, patting Lady's neck. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Cindy only shook her head, chuckling. "Just be careful about who you do that to. I've seen some pretty horrible accidents during works. You don't want two horses running into each other, believe me."

Faith simply nodded and smiled before they got to the gap, waving at Cindy as she met Ian by the rail, jumping off the filly.

Cindy turned to find Lucas by the rail, talking and laughing with Jack. She would have smiled at the mere sight of Jack, if it weren't for the presence of the woman by his side.

Cindy swallowed quickly and gathered Star Bank, letting the gelding prance energetically up to the gap, snorting and blowing out of his nostrils as they approached.

At the sounds of the horse, Lucas looked up and nodded to Cindy.

"How did he feel?"

"Perfect," Cindy reported. "Probably ready for a breeze pretty soon."

"I agree," Lucas said. "We've got him set up for a six furlong tomorrow. You up for it?"

"Always am," Cindy smiled, looking at Jack before jumping off the gelding, pulling off her helmet as a groom led Star Bank off the track.

"Hey, Cin," Jack greeted her, ruffling her thick blond hair.

"Jack," Cindy smiled up at him before breaking eye contact when she remembered the woman standing near her.

"Are you going to introduce us, or are you just going to be rude?" Cindy joked, looking at the dark haired beauty standing in front of her dressed in expensive, tailor made clothing. Everything was sharp and sophisticated about this woman, right down to her intricately curled hair to her designer shoes.

"Right," Jack said, looking over at the girl Cindy already knew everything about based on one glance.

"Cindy, this is Audrey Sutherland. Audrey, this is the Cindy McLean. She won the Dubai World Cup a few years ago on Wonder's Champion."

Audrey's mouth slipped into a well-preformed smile as she offered her hand. "Nice to meet you, Cindy."

Cindy nodded, taking the woman's hand and shaking. "Likewise."

"Jack had a lot to say about you," Audrey said, taking back her hand and looking up at the tall assistant trainer. "He seemed quite surprised that you were riding in the, what was it, the Gazelle?"

"Right," Cindy said slowly. "That was a favor for my father," Cindy said, feeling suddenly embarrassed and young. "I'm working as an exercise rider for Lucas right now."

"I see," Audrey said, turning her startling green eyes to Jack before looking back at Cindy. "You see, there's your answer."

Jack laughed, and ran a hand through his unruly dark hair before looking down at his girlfriend. "Thanks for sorting it out, hon."

Audrey smiled before glancing at her watch. "Oh," she said, frowning. "I have to get to the office. I have a meeting with Mr. Gordon in an hour, and I really can't miss that."

"Okay," Jack said, kissing her lightly on the mouth as Audrey spun around, jogging over the gravel as she dug around in her leather purse for her keys, pausing to spin around and wave, calling: "It was nice to meet you! I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of each other."

Cindy rose her eyebrows slightly and felt drawn to raise her hand and wave back, watching Audrey jump into her Mercedes and drive off, the shiny black car spitting up gravel as she drove quickly to the back gate.

Once the car was out of sight, Cindy immediately began to frown. She certainly hadn't expected that. Then she began to laugh.

"What?" Jack asked, giving Cindy a look out of dark blue eyes.

"You have a girlfriend," Cindy said through her laughter, shaking her head, trying to stop but finding it too hard to do.

Jack snorted and pinched Cindy in the side, making her yelp.

"Yeah, Cindy," Jack shook his head. "It's damn surprising, isn't it?"


	9. No Doubt

9.

No Doubt

September slipped into October, and the warm weather surrounding the city finally broke, casting down cold and dreary mornings for Cindy to ride horses through, the big animals snorting plumes of mist and cutting through the dense air.

Cindy frowned out at the training track and hugged her arms close to her body, wishing she had worn more than a simple white tank top and her protective vest under the lined windbreaker that Lucas had given her when she had started work with his barn. The windbreaker carried his stable color, dark burgundy, and his initials were embroidered on the back in white. The chilly breeze was picking up over the track, making Cindy's blond hair twist and tangle around her head as she waited for her first ride of the day.

"Hey, Cin," Lucas greeted as he walked down to the track. "How's it going?"

"It's getting freakin' cold out," Cindy complained, frowning up at the gray skies, wondering what the weather was like in Kentucky. The warmth had always held on longer than it did in the north, but as Cindy shivered she promised herself she would get used to the change. She wasn't headed back to Kentucky any time soon, thanks to Ashleigh Griffen and Whitebrook Farm.

"The sky is concerning me," Lucas nodded, looking up. "The weather service is predicting rain for this weekend, and Star Bank doesn't like a soft turf course."

Cindy nodded, knowing the gelding had cruised over a hard turf at Saratoga. Some horses didn't like the sinking feeling of running through soft, rain soaked grass, and Star Bank appeared to be one of them.

"We'll still do a five furlong breeze," Lucas added, looking back as the chocolate brown gelding was being led down from the barns by one of the numerous grooms. "Work him pretty sharp going into the breeze," Lucas gave Cindy his orders as he gave her a leg up onto the lanky gelding. "I'm sure you know the rest. Give me a good work, Cin."

"Sure, Lucas," Cindy nodded, taking Star Bank out onto the track. The dark brown gelding tossed his head and trotted away from the gap, heading for the inner turf track as Cindy urged him into a canter, looping down the firm grass.

Star Bank snorted excitedly and strode forward with a strong move, arching his neck and swiveling his ears around to pay attention to Cindy as she warmed him up around the track, keeping tight tabs on the gelding, although he had never been known to give her trouble in the two months she had worked with him.

Star Bank moved into a gallop easily, Cindy balanced over his withers and keeping the gelding collected as his strong legs steadily beat against the grass, his breaths coming in quick snorts as she angled him in, finding the marker up ahead.

"Okay, boy," Cindy murmured almost to herself as Star Bank rushed forward, his bronzed mane blowing back as he cut through the cold air, nose and neck stretched forward in concentration.

Cindy leaned against the gelding's neck, her hands buried in his mane as he gripped the rubber reins, feeling the sure power of the horse underneath her as he whipped around the turn and pounded for home, his amber eyes focused on the finish line.

Riding Star Bank was like riding a rocking horse. There was nothing to it. The old gelding had his fixed idea of how things should be run, and he did everything but flat out tell Cindy how he wanted to go. The big gelding skimmed down the rail, galloping as easy as could be, and rushed across the finish in wonderful time, letting Cindy pull him down to a manageable speed as they trotted their way of the turf track, over the dirt, and to the gap where Lucas was standing with a smile on his face.

"Good," Lucas nodded his head. "That was good. How did he feel, Cin?"

"As confident as ever," Cindy reported, which was always her report with Star Bank. The gelding could handle anything, and a grade two race at Belmont called the Kelso Handicap would be a breeze.

Lucas nodded and shipped Star Bank up to the barns as Queenie made her way down, Ryan leading a fractious Bosta behind her. It was time for another breeze with the filly, and Cindy could only wince at the thought. Bosta hadn't improved since being scratched from her maiden race at Saratoga. And the only time she even moderately behaved was when she was running with Queenie.

The smaller mare paused by the gap and turned her attention to the track as Bosta catapulted herself around Ryan, tossing her dark brown head and rolling her eyes in the sockets, obviously either excited, nervous, or both.

Running next to Bosta hadn't been one of her favorite things, but both fillies needed the work since both would be running that weekend - Bosta in a maiden race and Queenie in a high class allowance for older mares.

Queenie shook her dark mane and arched her plain bay neck, standing quietly as Lucas tossed her into the saddle. Micky jumped up onto Bosta as the filly skittered delicately over the gravel, grunting deeply and letting out a high-pitched squeal.

Cindy took Queenie out onto the track, walking her in a tight circle as Bosta flung herself out of the gap, dancing viciously up the outside rail, Micky standing in the stirrups and bouncing as the filly threw her head down, her mouth wide open and gaping.

"Take them to the gate," Lucas ordered as Ryan stopped next to him, watching the two fillies quietly. "We'll go four furlongs. Micky, we're going to try to keep Bosta on the outside this time. She's got to learn a different racing situation. If she blows forward, let her."

"Got it," Micky nodded, struggling with the filly as Bosta engaged in a battle of wills with her rider, testing Micky's limits.

"Cindy," Lucas said, his eyes darting over to Queenie, who had stopped to watch Bosta's antics curiously. "You know your mount. She'll cling to the rail like glue. Just get a nice time for me and have her speeding at the end."

"Sure," Cindy smiled, buckling her helmet and sending Queenie up next to Bosta, the older mare striding forward like a rock, barely noticing the young filly was there.

They cantered down to Jack and the practice gate, which was sitting hugging the rail. Bosta spooked immediately when she found out where she was going. Queenie herself seemed to roll her eyes with a distinctive snort as they came to a hesitant stop outside the banged up gate.

"Having fun yet?" Jack asked with a smile as Micky tried to get Bosta under control enough to figure out the logistics of the gate. The filly didn't want any part in the contraption, so Cindy got Queenie to inch close to the filly, stopping the mare next to Bosta's side.

Bosta threw her head over Queenie's neck, nearly slamming her muzzle into Cindy's face as she rested her neck over Queenie's withers. The older mare grunted and shook the filly off, as though she were telling the young horse where her place was.

"Let's go," Jack said, grabbing Queenie's bridle and Bosta's, leading them both to the gate as he backed up, sliding Queenie and Bosta in quickly. Bosta slammed herself around in the gate, grunting and whinnying shrilly.

"Hey you two," Jack said, walking over to the lever by the side of the gate, getting Cindy and Micky's attention for a split second.

"Good luck."

Before Cindy could say a word in response the gates flew open and Bosta roared, flinging herself out of the gate as though she had caught fire. Queenie kept with her, lunging out and gripping onto the dirt of the training track, hauling herself forward and collecting her massive hind quarters into another gigantic push as she raced up the rail, Cindy making sure the older mare knew where they were going.

Bosta, on the other hand, had exploded and was racing with her head craned up and her eyes rolling, her tongue slipping out of her mouth to wag uncontrollably past the bit.

Queenie was all business, running collected with her head bobbing low, racing along the rail so close that Cindy was anticipating her boot striking against the white fence. But when she saw Bosta careening on their outside, all thought of the fence escaped Cindy's mind.

The dark brown filly was plunging next to Queenie, getting so close that Micky's boot was scraping against Cindy's leg. Queenie grunted at Bosta's proximity, but the filly was out of her mind. Instead of lugging right, like she usually did, the filly was slowly pushing left, inching in on Queenie.

"Micky!" Cindy shouted, gripping Queenie's reins and preparing the mare for either an extreme acceleration or a sudden halt as Bosta suddenly drew her nose in and flew to the left, shouldering hard against Queenie.

"Go, Cindy," Micky yelled as he got Bosta to pull away from Queenie, the young filly shaking her head as Queenie accelerated, recovering from the impact and speeding up the rail, Cindy's face and hands vanishing in the mare's dark mane.

Bosta kept running, but she was obviously upset. Before Cindy knew what was happening, Bosta had set herself to chasing Queenie down, her dark shape flying ominously after them as Queenie accelerated down the turn, bending her body into the rail as they neared their ending marker. Queenie streaked past the marker, Bosta following quickly behind.

Cindy stood up in the stirrups, slowing Queenie down, but Bosta didn't seem to acknowledge Micky's signals and galloped past, her head pulled back and to the side as Micky worked on the filly, hauling her down to a canter and finally a trot nearly a furlong after the marker.

"There's no way in hell," Micky said, jumping off of the soaked filly at the gap and leading her off the track. "She'll kill someone on the track."

Cindy nodded as she slowed Queenie by the gap, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. The little mare grunted as well, shaking her damp dark mane and stepping off the track, dancing away from Bosta as the younger filly skittered on delicate legs, throwing her head up and spooking at the rail, rearing up.

"Crap," Lucas muttered, grabbing the filly's reins as Bosta came down to all fours, romping around her trainer with her beautiful head craned up, her eyes ringed in red and white.

"Get Queenie up to the barn, Cin," Lucas called as Cindy got the little bay mare away from the flailing legs of her younger running partner, jumping off the mare when they were out of range. She could see Jack galloping up the outside of the training track on one of Lucas' barn ponies, the paint Quarter Horse huffing anxiously as Bosta broke away from Lucas to whirl around and sprint back onto the track.

"Jack!" Lucas yelled, getting the assistant trainer's attention as Bosta headed up the track at a break neck gallop, sprinting up to Jack and the stable horse.

Jack only nodded wordlessly and angled the paint around, galloping to meet the fractious young filly as Bosta tried to plunge by, screaming angrily when Jack caught her flying reins and hauled her down to a halt.

Cindy winced when the filly reared up, nearly landing on top of Jack's horse, the filly obviously confused and out of control.

Lucas was only shaking his head at the filly, turning to Cindy who stood nearby with Queenie, the older mare pricking her ears curiously at Bosta.

"Everything's okay," Lucas told Cindy, although it sounded more like he was assuring himself. "Go ahead and cool her out, Cin. Queenie's ready to go for this weekend."

Cindy nodded and turned the mare around, walking up to the barn. She glanced over her shoulder a few times as she went, seeing Jack, his face set firmly, the paint horse underneath him snorting and trotting animatedly down the track, Bosta streaked with sweat and dancing violently next to him.

The weekend approached faster than Cindy anticipated, and she found herself sitting rather without emotion as the field for the Beldame Stakes poured out onto the track, the fillies looking dazzling and well taken care of in the budding fall afternoon.

Ian stood nervously next to Cindy, the binoculars in his hands. Faith sat on Cindy's other side, her long hair pulled back in a ponytail and chewing her lip in anxiety. The Townsends were further down the Grandstand, and Cindy could make out Lavinia's shocking blond hair that was pulled back tightly behind her head and partially hidden by a sweeping black hat.

The field was almost an exact rematch of the Gazelle, with Slew's Angel again being the slight favorite, followed by Dolabella and Wonder's Lady. Think Positive, Storm Girl, and Ten Item Limit were also warming up in the far turn, their bodies glistening with health. There were two new comers, a dark bay mare named Backinthegroove, and a chestnut mare named Flame Kissed, who had won the Alabama Stakes by a convincing margin in August.

Cindy stood up for the sake of standing as the fillies got into line, moving into the gate easily. Flame Kissed gave a little trouble at the start, but mostly everything went perfectly. It was a sunny day, and the track was lightning fast.

They broke quickly, with all mares pushing forward on the same beat. Backinthegroove rushed to the front, followed by a surprised Slew's Angel and a fleet Storm Girl. Ten Item Limit raced easily on the inside, with Flame Kissed galloping in fifth, followed by Ten Item Limit. Wonder's Lady, in her trademark fashion, had stuck to stalking Ten Item Limit, keeping her nose level with the other filly's tail. Dolabella, the winner of the Gazelle, was two lengths back in last, running with her head down and her jockey raised slightly in the saddle, not asking for anything.

Cindy's eyes grazed over Lady as the chestnut filly ran down the homestretch, passing the crowds for the first time and banking into the turn, her beautiful red body stretching and lunging behind horses, becoming streaked with dirt.

Horses held position into the backstretch, with Angel's Slew steadily eating into Backintothegroove's lead, pushing her bay head in front by a whisker, the other filly fighting her back and entering into a speed duel as they ran into the far turn, thundering into the homestretch with Dolabella flying to the outside, pulling up on Wonder's Lady.

"Come on, Lady!" Ian yelled, pounding his hands against the box rail. "Let her out, Robby!"

Cindy was silent as Lady hit her full stride, switching leads and barreling into the stretch, galloping up behind horses and finding a small slot on the rail, darting through and galloping like a mad thing to the wire.

Backinthegroove was tiring, and Angel's Slew had nothing left as Dolabella passed horses insanely fast, nearing a track equaling time. Lady was still going like a locomotive, Robby Chavez working hard on top of her, slapping her flanks and flipping the crop by her eye.

Storm Girl was putting in a run she hadn't found in the Gazelle, sprinting past Ten Item Limit and Think Positive as Dolabella and Lady hooked up at the sixteenth pole, driving to the finish.

Both fillies were thundering, and the crowds were yelling. Faith jumped up and down next to Cindy, shouting at the top of her lungs for the chestnut mare to move ahead, but Dolabella was there, straining to reach the wire first. The clock was ticking quickly, and now they were passing the track time, racing faster than any other filly had in the history of the Beldame.

The wire was slipping forward and the fillies were dashing toward it, Storm Girl pulling up on the outside faster than both Lady and Dolabella combined. But then it was all over. Dolabella was a nose in front, with Lady less than a heartbeat back in second. Storm Girl flew past them both after the wire, heartbreakingly left in third.

"Damn," Ian sighed, pushing his hands through his red hair as Lady lowered her head and galloped slowly into the clubhouse turn, slowing down.

"And a new track record!" the announcer's voice echoed over the crowds at Belmont.

"That was still good," Faith said loyally, nodding her head as Lady turned around in the turn, heading back to the stands. "If we give her some time between now and November I bet she'll blow away the Distaff field."

The chestnut mare was obviously tired, and covered in dirt. This would be her last race before the Breeders' Cup, and she would need her rest.

"I suppose we should ship her out in a couple of days," Ian said, glancing quickly at the ominous shadow that appeared next to their box. Cindy followed her father's gaze and met the dark eyes of the handsome Thoroughbred owner, and heir to Townsend Acres, the co-owner of Ashleigh's Wonder and all her foals.

Brad Townsend, looking professional and wealthy in a charcoal suit and dark hair slicked back, stared back at her before dismissing her quietly by looking right through her, and to her father.

"We're still on for the Breeders' Cup," Brad said. "Reporters will be asking questions when you get her to the backside."

"Indeed they will," Ian nodded back. "I'll speak with Ashleigh about it before we ship to Saratoga. I'm sure everything is set."

"When are you scheduled into Saratoga?" Brad asked, putting on a pair of sunglasses. The heat may have broken, but the sun was still bright.

"In a few days," Ian said. "When she's limber enough to take the van ride up."

"Good," Brad nodded, looking back at Lavinia, who was looking at the Whitebrook group with something akin to boredom. "We'll see you at Saratoga."

"Fine," Ian nodded, watching the decked up couple turn their backs and leave.

The rest of the afternoon faired well for Lucas' barn. Star Bank finished a rallying third in the Kelso Handicap, showing that eight furlongs was a little too short for his liking. Queenie had come in a flashy first by a nose in her allowance race the day before, and Luna's Secret had finally bounded home to a first place finish in the Winstar Galaxy Stakes at Keeneland in Lexington.

Just before the last race of the day, the Champagne Stakes, the predicted weather finally showed up. Storm clouds generated swiftly and moved over the city, cracking over the track in a downpour.

Cindy sat miserably in the stands as they watched the young colts skitter and snort in the deluge. Within thirty minutes the fast track and been reduced to a puddle, and Red Army was plowing through it, his white-marked legs covered in mud and his brilliant chestnut coat dimmed in the shadow of the rain clouds.

Jack and Lucas sat next to her, staring at the rain with emotionless faces. Only Audrey, who had insisted on seeing Lucas' prized Breeders' Cup prospect in his first graded race, seemed upbeat about the colt's ability in the mud.

"I don't exactly understand all the glum faces," Audrey said with a chipper voice. "I think he looks great out there."

"We haven't really worked him on an off track," Jack explained, watching the colt move through the mud with as much grace as he could manage. "And this is only his second start. God only knows what might happen."

"I could still scratch him," Lucas pondered, running his hand over the wet rail of their box. "It isn't too late."

"I think he's handling it pretty well," Cindy shrugged, frowning at the track. The race was packed with two-year-olds. One of them was Titus, with Laura on his back. The bay colt seemed almost invisible in the rain as they approached the gate on the far side of the track, some horses balking at the conditions placed before them.

"There he is," Audrey exclaimed excitedly. "He's going into the gate."

Cindy nodded, barely listening as she watched the race unfold. Ten two-year-olds crowded into the gate, and when the doors flew open three managed to break clean. Four were a half beat late, one was a half beat behind them, and two stumbled, one going completely down and getting tramped under the gate.

"Jesus," Jack groaned, standing up as the horses clumped together on the backstretch, already racing for the far turn.

"Who is it?" Audrey asked with concern, jumping up next to Jack to watch the horse straining under the gate, attendants swarming around to move the lumbering metal machine.

"It's Random Quote," Lucas said, tearing his gaze to the field of horses pouring into the far turn.

Cindy spotted Red Army leading the field, pulling away with ease. Behind him, through the crush of horses, Laura was coming on Titus, running up on the outside as they spilled into the homestretch, kicking up mud and sliding through the rain.

It quickly turned into a two horse race, with Red Army running on the inside and Titus flying on the outside, the two young colts battling it out to the wire. Cindy's voice was caught in her throat as she watched the two horses battle down the stretch, neither giving up an inch.

Audrey was shrieking near her ear, and Cindy could feel her heart thumping in her chest, rising up into her throat. Red Army was whipping down to the wire, George working hard on his back to out jockey Laura, who was urging Titus as fast as she could.

In a split second, both horses were caught underneath the wire five lengths ahead of the rest of the field, thunder punctuating their arrival as major competitors for the Breeders' Cup.

"Christ," Lucas groaned, raking his fingers through his mousy brown hair. "Did anyone get a look at the nod?"

"I think we got it," Audrey supplied, nodding. "Red Army was definitely rallying at the end."

"So was Titus," Cindy frowned with a touch of uncertainness. The crowds milled quietly in the stands until the numbers flashed on the toteboard with an official stamp of approval. Red Army's was on top, and at that Audrey jumped into the air and screamed with bubbly excitement, hugging Jack fiercely.

"I told you he had it," Audrey grinned, beaming a vibrant smile to Cindy.

Cindy smiled back, but her eyes were on the colt as he stopped in front of the grandstand, looking up at the crowds as though he knew where his destiny laid.


	10. Alone Again

10.

Alone Again

Cindy sat outside barn 18, watching as her father backed the simple white horse fan up to the entrance, frowning at the still overcast conditions. Faith was standing with Lady, the beautiful chestnut filly arching her neck and pawing at the gravel ground with some anxiety over traveling.

"Whoa," Faith murmured, patting the filly's shoulder as Ian parked the van and jumped out, slamming the door behind him.

"Are we all set here?" Ian asked, taking a look at the filly's shipping boots and blanket. Lady grunted, the blue shipping boots looking comical around her legs as she bowed her head to nip at them.

Cindy smiled and stood up, walking over to take one last look at the champion filly that looked so much like her dam.

"We're all set," Faith reported, putting a hand on Lady's nose as the filly brought her head back up to look around her surroundings again, snorting casually.

"Good," Ian nodded. "Cindy, why don't you help me pull the ramp down on this trailer. Sometimes it sticks a little."

"Sure," Cindy agreed, coming up to the end of the trailer and helping her father lower the ramp, watching from the sidelines as Faith led Lady up into the trailer, the filly's metal shod hooves clattering deeply against the van floor.

"Get her all secure, Faith," Ian called, patting the filly's flank before jumping down to the gravel lot to turn to Cindy.

"And Cindy," Ian smiled, pulling his youngest daughter into a warm embrace. "I'm going to miss you."

Cindy smiled into her father's shoulder and hugged him back. "I'll miss you, too."

"Promise you'll come down to Lexington every now and then," Ian said, not letting her go. "Your mother desperately wants to see you."

"I know, dad," Cindy said, burrowing her face against his fall coat and feeling the upturned fleece of the collar brush her cheek. She was fighting off crying, wishing desperately that she could go with them, and stubbornly refusing at the same time, knowing that she was no longer truly welcome at Whitebrook anymore. Not after the way Ashleigh had looked at her after Joy's death.

Ian pushed Cindy away from her slowly, tipping her chin up so he could see into her face and see her red streaked eyes.

"Oh, Cindy," Ian sighed softly, brushing away a newly forming tear. "You're a strong young woman. There's no reason you can't conquer this."

"I know," Cindy nodded, looking at her father as if she were hypnotized. She could hear the soft scrapes of Lady's hooves against the trailer and the footfalls of Faith as the young girl stopped on the ramp, watching the scene unfold between father and daughter.

"You're going to be a great jockey here," Ian said, looking worried as Cindy almost broke into sobs at his words.

"Cindy," Ian repeated, hugging her to him again. "What's the matter, hon?"

"I'm just going to miss you," Cindy sputtered into his shoulder, trying to control her frantic breathing. "I don't know what I'm going to do here."

"You're going to be fine," Ian said soothingly, smiling. "Everything is going to be fine. You're working for Belmont's best trainer, and there's no way that he's going to let you slip out of his fingers."

Cindy nodded, feeling a new onrush of tears. She didn't want them to go. She wanted to cling to Ian as long as she had to to make herself feel like she had a home again.

"Cindy," Ian said, pulling her away from him to look into her wet eyes. "You are strong, and you've matured beyond my wildest dreams since you left. You can do this. I am so confident in you. I feel that I can leave you here and watch you turn into one of the best jockeys the east coast has to offer. You know that, right?"

Cindy nodded, although she didn't know that.

"Ian?" Faith's tentative voice asked from the trailer.

"Yes, Faith?" Ian asked, looking up at the younger girl.

"Lady's all set," Faith reported. "We can go now."

Ian nodded and looked back at Cindy. "Cindy, you'll be fine."

"I know," Cindy nodded, although she really didn't know. She was far from knowing, and on the inside she only felt like she was breaking. But she had to look strong.

"Please come back home when ever you want," Ian said, urging her. "You're always welcome."

Cindy nodded, knowing she wouldn't come near Whitebrook for a long time, envisioning Ashleigh's broken eyes that quickly set into anger.

"Okay, Faith," Ian said. "Let's close it up."

Cindy helped shut the horse van and lock the doors, giving Faith a hug before watching the young girl jump up into the cab of the van.

"Give everyone my love," Cindy said to Ian, giving him one last hug.

"I will," Ian smiled, breaking the hug and going to the van, jumping up into the cab and shutting door. Seconds later, he rolled down the window, the van roaring to life.

"Good luck, Cin!"

"Thanks," Cindy called over the engine, backing up as the van pulled away from the barn, rumbling down the gravel aisle to disappear behind the next barn. Cindy stood in place for a moment, listening to the crunch of gravel and the engine of the vehicle, feeling cold and alone, before wiping her hands on her jeans and heading back to Lucas' barn.

When Cindy stepped into the warm air of Lucas' main barn, she must have had despair written all over her face. Star Bank was standing in the aisle, his head craned up as far as the cross ties would allow so he could get a good look out of the rectangular windows that lined the wall separating the stalls from the elements. Jack was bent by the gelding's legs, securing shipping boots.

"Hey, Cindy," Jack said without looking up, his focus on getting the boots around Star Bank's legs as the gelding kept moving, successfully frustrating Jack. "Could you help hold him for a minute?"

"Sure," Cindy nodded, her voice hoarse from crying as she took the gelding's head, nearly starting in on a fresh batch of tears, making Jack look up.

"Cindy?"

"Yeah?" Cindy asked, turning her head away, embarrassed of having Jack of all people find out that she had spent the past thirty minutes crying on and off. Her eyes were puffy and she was afraid her nose was going to start running any minute now.

"What's wrong?"

Cindy looked down at Jack, who had stopped attempting to get Star Bank's legs to hold still, and was sitting on the balls of his feet, looking up at her with concerned eyes.

"Nothing," Cindy shook her head. "You should get Star's shipping boots on. He's holding still now."

"No," Jack said, standing up and tossing the shipping boot back by the gelding's stall. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Cindy repeated, shaking her head. "It's nothing."

"Bull shit," Jack said, taking Star Bank's halter and prying Cindy's hand off it to lead her away from the horse, putting his hands on her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Cindy was silent, looking down at her feet. "It's nothing. It's just stupid, is all."

Jack tipped her chin up, looking at her tear-streaked face as a few fresh drops appeared on her eyelashes, rolling down her cheeks. Without a word he pulled her up to her, wrapping strong arms around her waist to keep her pressed against him. Cindy found her head tucked against Jack's chest, and sniffled again, hearing his steady heartbeat as he talked to her.

"Stupid or not, I want to hear it," Jack said slowly, keeping her limp body supported by his. "Now, what's up?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Cindy muttered into his shirt, breathing heavily as she got her emotions in order again, pulling herself together.

"Sure," Jack chuckled. "Look at yourself, Cin. Tell me."

Cindy sighed, feeling Star Bank's inquisitive nose brushing against her elbow, the gelding watching them with curious eyes.

"It's just that," Cindy sighed, pausing. She didn't see the need in telling Jack everything about her life. He didn't need to know the finer details, and Cindy found herself pausing, considering what she should tell him.

"I just miss my family," Cindy muttered, which was partially the truth.

"They left today?" Jack asked, assuming she meant Ian and Faith.

"Yeah," Cindy nodded against him, sighing, her breathing coming back to normal. "I just don't know what I'm going to do now."

"Well," Jack said softly, and Cindy felt his chin resting on top of her head. "It seems to me that you'll keep doing what you've been doing, Cin."

"Yeah," Cindy muttered again, closing her eyes as she began to relax. "I just don't know where I'm going, and I hate that feeling."

There was more of the truth, and Jack nodded his understanding. "It will all fall together, Cin. You've got Lucas here, and Laura, and Ryan, and Micky, and you've got me. You realize that, right?"

"Do I?" Cindy asked, hardly having considered these people as family. They were co-workers and roommates. They couldn't be family. Not yet.

"Yes," Jack said, pushing her back, the shock of the leaving warmth reviving Cindy. "Now perk up. I need your help with this guy, and to be honest he's been a pain in the ass today."

Cindy nodded, watching Jack closely as he ruffled up her hair affectionately and put her hand back on Star Bank's nose, leaning down to swoop up the shipping boot he had tossed carelessly away a few moments before.

Cindy held Star Bank, stroking the gelding's face as Jack strapped the boots into place. The chocolate gelding shook his bronzed mane and snorted into Cindy's hands as Jack finished up, patting the horse on the flank as he moved to unclip the cross ties, looking at Cindy carefully.

"Where's he going?" Cindy asked, dawning on the fact that shipping boots meant travel.

"Hollywood Park," Jack answered, pulling his eyes from Cindy long enough to clip a lead shank to the gelding's halter, avoiding a playful bite as he wheeled Star Bank around.

"What's at Hollywood Park?" Cindy asked, following Jack out to the gravel aisle between the barns.

"A few nice graded turf races," Jack answered, patting Star Bank's neck as they walked up to the horse van, where a few other horses were being loaded. "Lucas wants to try him in a warmer climate, and God knows I'd like to go with him."

"You aren't going?" Cindy asked, watching as Jack handed Star Bank off to one of the grooms.

"No," Jack shook his head. "Lucas has another assistant at Hollywood and Santa Anita that will be taking care of these guys."

Cindy nodded watching as Ryan appeared around the truck, a clipboard in hand as he counted up the horses.

"Is this it?"

"Should be," Jack said, taking a look at the clipboard, nodding. "Star Bank is the last one. Northern Delight should be on there, too."

"Yeah," Ryan nodded. "We've got him."

"Good," Jack nodded. "Then take them to Republic. The cargo plane should be waiting for them."

Ryan nodded, looking over at Cindy and noticing her blood shot eyes.

"Hey, are you alright?" Ryan asked, touching Cindy's arm.

"Yeah," Cindy said quickly, getting a concerned look from Ryan. "I'm fine. Really."

"Your not hung over or anything?" Ryan asked, making Cindy laugh.

"No. Hardly," Cindy responded. "Just a little tired."

"Alright," Ryan shrugged, patting Cindy on the back before taking off for the van. "I'll see you guys tonight."

"Right," Jack confirmed, waving him off. Ryan jumped in the van and started the engine as soon as the horses were settled and the doors were closed. Jack hit the side of the van a couple times before Ryan pulled out, heading for the back gates.

Jack and Cindy stood quietly by themselves, watching the van pull out beyond the guard station before Cindy asked: "What's going on tonight?"

And Jack smiled.

"Cindy!"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have that thingy?"

"What thingy?"

"You know, the hair thingy."

Cindy pushed her head outside of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her small body.

"What thingy, Laura?"

Laura frowned and slipped into the bathroom, rummaging through a few drawers before pulling out a large clip to keep her long brown hair back.

"This thingy," Laura smiled, holding up the contraption for Cindy to see.

"Great," Cindy smiled. "Now get out. I have to get dressed."

"Okay, okay," Laura nodded. "What are you wearing again?"

Cindy motioned to the black pants and red silk tank top that hung on their hangers from the towel closet door.

"Oh, right," Laura said. "Good choice. I'm feeling a little weird in a skirt."

"Change," Cindy shrugged. "If you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable."

"We'll see," Laura smiled, bouncing out the door and closing it behind her. "Just hurry up. The guys will be here in thirty minutes."

"Okay," Cindy called through the door, pulling out her hair dryer and blasting her blond locks with searing heat. Once her hair was dry and rail straight, she turned to her clothes, pulling on each article of clothing carefully, frowning at herself in the mirror after she had herself assembled. She had bought the clothes in Los Angeles, when she still had money to spare from Joy's earnings. The silk red top was just about as sleek as it could get. With tiny straps and being nearly backless it had definitely been something Cindy never would have gotten if it hadn't been for her friend Heather's insistence. Most of Cindy's shopping sprees had Heather involved, and when they had both been in LA together Cindy had blown more money than she had thought possible.

Finally, with a touch of red lipstick to her lips and a small spray of perfume, Cindy was ready. She smiled at her reflection, glad her mother had taught her something about being feminine. Otherwise Cindy would have been doomed to wearing jeans and t-shirts promoting various racetracks wherever she went.

When she stepped out of her room, Laura was smiling at her, nodding.

"Looking good, Cin," Laura smiled, her long brown hair curling luxuriously into a mass behind her head. "If you aren't going to attract attention, I don't know what will."

Cindy blushed at the complement, barely able to see herself attracting much attention at all. She had, after all, caught Max Smith's attention with her ability with horses, not fashion sense, or little she had of it. Then again, Cindy frowned, she didn't want to date another Max Smith.

Laura looked fantastic, with a black skirt split up the side and an ivory long sleeved top that made her look stunning.

"You too," Cindy responded with a smile just as the buzzer went off beside the door.

"Yeah?" Laura asked into the wall unit, looking at the door.

"Hey," Ryan's voice crackled through.

"We'll be down in a sec," Laura called, shutting off the unit and motioned to Cindy. "They're downstairs. Are you all set?"

Cindy nodded, pulling her black leather jacket, another acquirement due to Heather, off the peg near the door, pulling it on over her red top. "Sure. Let's go."

Down in the parking garage, Ryan's Mercedes was waiting for them, the car's lights shining out onto the packed Brooklyn road. Outside, Jack was leaning against the car waiting for them, his own dark brown leather jacket glowing softly in the lights that bounced in off the street.

Cindy and Laura grinned at him as they stepped off the elevator jogging in their difficult heels toward the car.

"Evening, ladies," Jack smiled at them, pushing off the car and opening the back door, revealing Audrey who was sitting on the far side, grinning brightly at them.

"Hey!" Audrey waved, and Laura waved back, climbing into the car. Cindy paused to raise her eyebrow at Jack, who grinned at her, catching her arm before she climbed inside as well.

"Is all better in the world?" Jack asked, his cheerful dusky blue eyes turning serious for a fraction of a second.

"Much," Cindy replied with a smile, sliding into the car as Jack closed the door after them and opened the front door, jumping into the passenger seat, Ryan peeling out of the garage and into traffic, all three girls screaming.

The club was hot and humid after Cindy somehow managed to slip in without anyone asking for her ID, which she didn't even have in the first place. Everything was so crowded that Cindy was both happy and annoyed that she had left her coat in the car. She would have sweltered with it on, but the roving bodies of the crowd touching her bare back was enough to make her grumpy. But Jack was there, and all anger Cindy was feeling toward the people mashed around her melted away in the heat of the club.

They managed to find a table near the bar, and Ryan and Jack immediately left with drink orders, leaving the girls to yell at each other over the thumping bass of the music and the roar of the crowds.

"You guys look stunning!" Audrey yelled at Cindy and Laura, smiling at them. "I almost feel like I dressed down."

Cindy took one look at the expensive black leather pants and the equally expensive silver top that Audrey had on and only laughed. She had to be kidding herself.

"No way," Laura assured her, but Audrey didn't hear over the striking deep music that raged on at a primal beat. Laura and Audrey managed to slip into an awkward conversation as Cindy watched the writhing dance floors; people pressed everywhere and dancing with anyone. She remembered going to places like this in LA, where she had no one to dance with and didn't feel comfortable being grabbed by a stranger.

Before she could get a word in to Audrey about anything conversational, Jack and Ryan were back with hard liquor in hand. Cindy got her screwdriver and she was happy, talking smiling as Jack sat down between her and Audrey, taking a gulp of his scotch.

"I heard you turn 21 in March," Audrey called over to Cindy between sips of her gin and tonic. "I bet you're excited."

Cindy fought the automatic urge to roll her eyes. She hated when people assumed she would be excited over being able to legally drink. It also made her feel young, and there wasn't anything Cindy hated more than seeming young.

"Yeah," Cindy said instead, smiling forcefully. "I really can't wait. Everyone here has promised me a grand time."

"Ryan and Jack don't know any other way," Audrey grinned, jumping at a song that started blasting through the towers of speakers. "I have to dance to this," she announced, grabbing Jack's arm and hauling him out of the chair.

Jack and Audrey disappeared inside the crowds and Cindy turned back to Ryan and Laura, who seemed very immersed in their own conversation all of a sudden, leaving Cindy feeling a little on edge. She quietly took sips of her screwdriver, watching the crowds and trying not to listen in on the conversation between Ryan and her roommate.

"Cindy," Laura said suddenly, getting her attention.

"Yeah?" Cindy asked, looking at her roommate.

"You don't mind if we go out there, do you?"

Cindy opened her mouth and closed it, shaking her head. "Of course not," Cindy said, putting on a smile. "Go ahead and have fun."

"Are you sure?" Laura asked, clearly upset at having to leave Cindy alone at the table. "I don't want to leave you here."

"I'll be fine," Cindy said. "I'll just keep the table safe."

"Okay," Laura frowned, letting Ryan pull her out of the chair and out to the dance floor, disappearing in the large crowd and the thumping music and the roars.

Cindy sighed and drank the rest of her screwdriver in two large gulps, getting a little light headed from the vodka, and leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table as she watched the crowds, feeling alone and a little like a fifth wheel.

She started to play with the water circles the glass made on the black table, ignoring looks she got from inquisitive men and generally everyone else. By the time she had made a design out of every spot of water on the table, she suddenly felt a hand lay flat on her back and she nearly screamed, whipping around.

There stood Jack.

"Hey, Angel," he replied with a grin.

"Jack!" Cindy nearly shrieked. "Don't do that!"

He grinned and plopped down next to her, running his hands through his dark hair. "Sorry," he shrugged. "Didn't mean to freak you out or anything."

"Oh no," Cindy rolled her eyes, feeling a tad defensive and annoyed.

Jack picked up his previously abandoned glass of scotch and swallowed the rest of it, Cindy watching with wide eyes.

"What are you doing, Jack?" Cindy asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Coming to ask you to dance," Jack said, putting the glass back on the table and creating another circle of water.

"What if I don't want to?" Cindy asked, cocking her head at him, her perfectly straight blond hair falling across her lips.

"Well," Jack said, leaning back in his chair, giving her a steady look. "The way I see it, you can sit alone here, or dance with me."

"Where's Audrey?" Cindy challenged, finding an excuse and finding the fact that she was completely asinine. She wanted away from this table, but she also didn't feel comfortable with the whole thing. This was Jack, and Jack wasn't her boyfriend, or a perfect stranger. Jack was something entirely different.

"Bathroom," Jack answered. "And after that she's going to sample the bar. You, on the other hand, have been sitting."

"Well…" Cindy tried, looking around for another excuse, but before she could find one Jack was practically picking her up and scooting her toward the dance floor, parting the waves of grinding bodies as they immersed themselves in the crowd.

"Oh my God," Cindy groaned, feeling his arm tug her around.

"It's okay," Jack laughed, pulling her toward him. "Just dance, Cin. Have some fun."

Cindy stared at him and could only blush as she started to dance, her heart beating hard to its own rhythm instead of to the loud, insistent music. Cindy watched Jack for a moment before closing her eyes, hoping that would make the situation better, but it didn't. He was right there next to her, right in front of her, dancing too close for her comfort.

She took several deep breaths, raising her hands in the air, before relaxing and smiling, forgetting who Jack was for a moment as they danced, finally moving to the music. Cindy remembered high school dances that she had gone to with Max, and realized that this was not anything like them. She grinned and began to move her hips, feeling other people brush against her and finding that she wasn't caring this time.

Cindy kept dancing, finding Jack close to her but keeping her eyes closed, moving to her own beat. It was a shock to suddenly feel his hand on her back again, fingers brushing against the red silk of her top, and her eyes flew open, staring up at Jack too suddenly.

"There you are!" Cindy could hear Audrey as the song suddenly switched to something faster, the crowds gyrating around them.

"I was wondering where you two went," Audrey said, looking up at Jack and then at Cindy, her gaze visibly changed. "If I could steal him from you for just a moment?"

"Sure," Cindy said, taking a step back and nearly hitting someone on the dance floor. "I'll see you guys at the table."

Audrey nodded and pulled Jack further into the crowd, leaving Cindy to push her way back to the table, which she found occupied. She sighed and moved to the wall, leaning against it and watching the crowds move, feeling a little strange and uneasy.

By the time Laura and Ryan found her, Cindy was ready to leave. They found Audrey and Jack behind them and made their way out, walking through the cold October air. The bare silk top rustled in the breeze, Cindy's skin rising into goose bumps as they found Ryan's car.

Everyone was a little quiet in the car on the way back, and Cindy was freezing as she shrugged her way into her leather jacket, accidentally hitting Audrey's arm in the process.

"Watch it, Cindy," Audrey said softly, looking at her from the side of the backseat.

"I'm sorry," Cindy apologized, a little taken aback. "I didn't mean to hit you."

"It's okay," Audrey nodded back, and then the car fell silent.


	11. Visions of Joy

11.

Visions of Joy

Cindy sat quietly behind Lucas' desk, propping her head up on her hand as she doodled on the message pad she had in front of her, listening to the strings of Led Zeppelin drift into the partially cracked door and the droning of the heaters.

Things were silent on the backside of the track since Belmont closed several days ago, all attention turning north to Saratoga Springs, where the Breeders' Cup was being held. A few days ago Lucas had shipped out with Ryan and Micky, taking Red Army to run in the Juvenile and Counting Crosses to defend his Sprint title, leaving Jack to hold down the fort while hiring on another exercise rider to keep Cindy from going crazy.

"Cindy?"

Looking up from her drawings, Mary Thomas, the new rider Lucas had hired, popped her head inside and smiled at her.

"Yeah?" Cindy asked, frowning and going back to her doodling. "What's up?"

"This may seem like a stupid question, but I can't find Jack, so…"

Cindy looked up at the other girl, who was roughly about her age, only slightly taller with light brown hair.

"I just wanted to know where the extra bandages are. I ran out when I wrapped up Mighty," Mary hurried on under Cindy's impatience stare.

"Oh," Cindy frowned, putting down her pen and standing up and heading for a large tack trunk on the far wall. "Lucas keeps them in the office. Extra ones will always be in here."

"Thanks," Mary nodded, taking the burgundy bandages from Cindy and making a beeline for the door, closing it behind her and muting the music. Cindy sighed and plopped back down in the chair, wishing she wasn't on telephone duty. Most of the phone calls that came in required someone who actually knew Lucas' business, and Cindy found herself having to quickly find Jack in the event that an owner, potential owner, or someone immersed in the behind the scenes business of horse racing would call.

Then the phone started ringing again, Cindy could only roll her eyes and hope to God that it was something she could handle.

"Hello, Simm Stables, this is Cindy speaking."

Over the static, she could barely make out Lucas' voice on the other end as the muted shouting of her name burst through the phone.

"Lucas?" Cindy called, frowning and listening hard.

"Cindy," Lucas said, the connection getting better. "Sorry about that. Can you hear me?"

"Clear now," Cindy reported, tapping the pen against the pad of paper.

"Good, good," Lucas said through the phone as Cindy looked up to see Jack walking through the door and falling in the chair opposite the desk.

"What's up?" Cindy asked, leaning back and staring at Jack as the young assistant trainer groaned and slouched in the chair, thumping both boots on the top of the desk and relaxing.

"What was that noise?" Lucas asked, and Cindy shook her head, giving Jack a glare.

"Nothing," Cindy said quickly.

"That wasn't Jack, was it?"

"Nope," Cindy grinned, pushing at Jack's feet. Jack only closed his eyes and remained stubbornly put. "What's going on, Lucas?"

"I was just calling to check up on things," Lucas said as Cindy stopped attempting to have her way with Jack's feet. "Has there been anything noteworthy?"

"Well," Cindy frowned, shrugging. "Bosta nearly killed me this morning, Queenie was an angel, we got Mary out on Striking, Berrytastic, Mighty, and most of the second string. If you want anything big, you'll have to talk to Jack."

At that, Jack opened his eyes and glared at Cindy, who only smiled sweetly back.

"Good," Lucas said. "If you can find him, put him on."

"Oh, he's right here," Cindy smiled, thrusting the phone out to Jack, who only sighed, swung his boots off the desk, and took the phone with a tired swipe of his arm.

"Try not to fall asleep," Cindy joked as she left the office, closing the door behind her before Jack could retaliate.

Since everyone had shipped up to Saratoga, things at home seemed to be progressing slower than usual. The apartment seemed empty without Laura burning dinner and blasting her music, and the barns were obviously more laid back. Cindy found herself wishing she could be up in Saratoga, even with Jack entertaining her in New York and the threatening knowledge that Ashleigh was at the Breeders' Cup, helping prepare Lady for the Distaff.

"Hey, Mary," Cindy said, greeting the other girl, who was finishing up with Irish Lager's bandages, standing up to pat the gray gelding on the shoulder.

"Hi, Cin," Mary said, smiling at her. "I'm sorry if I interrupted you back in the office, you looked a little perturbed."

Cindy frowned, shaking her head in surprise. She never thought she looked annoyed when people asked a question to her.

"No," Cindy said immediately. "You didn't interrupt me. I was just a little bored, I guess."

"It is getting pretty slow around here," Mary chuckled, stepping out of Lager's stall and setting down the burgundy roll. "But the Breeders' Cup is coming up fast. Are you going to be watching it here?"

"Yeah," Cindy nodded. "Jack and Audrey will be watching it in the office. You're invited if you'd like to come."

"That would be great," Mary said, checking her watch. "Crap," she sighed. "It's five thirty. I told my boyfriend I'd go see a movie with him at seven."

"You'd better hurry," Cindy smiled, putting a hand on Lager's forehead as she exchanged good byes with the other rider and watched Mary sprint out of the stable door.

"And how are you?" Cindy asked Lager, the five-year-old gelding responding with a distinguished snort.

"That good, huh?" Cindy smiled, rubbing Lager's nose. The dappled gray was one of Cindy's favorites off the track, since she didn't ride him in his workouts. Lager was a simple allowance horse, but he had spirit and the many times Cindy had helped catch him when he managed to get out of his stall made the horse more than entertaining.

"Talking to the horses now?" Jack asked as he walked out of the office, getting a smile from Cindy.

"I always talk to the horses, Jack," Cindy replied, giving Lager another scratch behind the ears. "Who else do I have to talk to around here?"

Jack only rolled his eyes and leaned against the gelding's stall, watching Cindy rub the gray's neck.

"It is getting pretty damn slow," Jack said, running his hands through his dark brown hair, tussling it up.

Cindy nodded. Belmont Park would be closed until May, and that would mean that Lucas' horses at Belmont would be shipping up to Aqueduct until spring to race, and perhaps out to California to join Star Bank. Luna's Secret was already in the air to California.

Cindy gave Lager a final kiss on the nose before pulling out her keys, remembering that her family was going to call sometime in the evening.

"You headed out?" Jack asked, looking down at the keys in her hand.

"Uh-huh," Cindy smiled. "As wonderful as it is talking to you, I must away."

"Well, get thee hence," Jack said, pushing her to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, and remember to get to the office early for the telecast."

"Sure thing," Cindy nodded, remembering that the Breeders' Cup was tomorrow. She was excited about watching it, since she wanted to root for both Laura and Red Army, but watching it with Audrey was something she secretly dreaded. Ever since she had gone out with the group she only got negative vibes from Jack's girlfriend, and half of her was extremely concerned about that, while the other half couldn't have cared less.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Jack called over his shoulder as Cindy walked out to the truck, jumping up into the cab and inserting the key into the ignition. She turned the key, the engine coughed and sputtered, then died.

Five tries later, with Jack leaning outside the barn watching her with a smile on his face, Cindy frowned, hit the steering wheel in frustration, and jumped out of the cab.

"Um, Jack," Cindy started, hesitantly walking around the front of the truck.

"No need to ask," Jack said, pulling out his keys. "I'm headed out as it is. Let's go."

That night Cindy laid on her back on the sofa, propped up by pillows, a mug of hot chocolate in her hands, and the cordless phone sitting on the coffee table as the television cast Technicolor rays over the room.

It was pitch black outside, but the lights coming off the street made the room glow quietly as Cindy waited for her phone call from her parents. Jack had dropped her off hours ago, promising to give her a ride to the track in the morning. Since then Cindy had been a sloth, moving around the deathly quiet apartment as though it were a tomb.

When the phone rang, Cindy was so startled that she nearly dumped the hot chocolate on her, getting a few dropped sprinkled over her flannel pajama bottoms.

"Damn it," she muttered, finding a coaster and setting down the mug while licking the back of her hand to get rid of the dark liquid and reaching for the phone at the same time.

"Hello?" Cindy asked on the third ring, standing up and checking the couch for chocolate stains.

"Cindy?"

It was her mother's voice, sounding characteristically worried.

"Hey, mom," Cindy said, frowning at the sofa and sitting back down when she didn't find any wet spots.

"Is something wrong?" Beth asked.

"No," Cindy shook her head. "Well, I nearly dumped my hot chocolate all over myself, but other than that everything is peachy."

"Okay," Beth said, her voice not sounding any more relaxed. "Are you sure? I heard you're over there by yourself. Ian and I spoke with your roommate this afternoon, and she said she'd been gone for nearly a week."

"She has," Cindy nodded, thinking of Laura running in the Breeders' Cup on Titus. It was a mammoth effort to not be jealous of Laura's sudden success with William Lewis. Every time she thought about Laura and Titus Cindy found she had to convince herself that she would get the chance sooner than later.

"You're locking the doors, right?" Beth asked.

"Mom," Cindy said irritably. "Really. I'm living in Brooklyn. Do you think I just frolic around leaving the door to the apartment wide open?"

"Cindy," Beth warned, and Cindy automatically felt bad for snapping.

"I'm sorry," Cindy sighed. "I didn't mean to get annoyed."

"It's alright," Beth said softly. "I should know that you'd know how to live in a big city. You've been living up there for nearly three months now, right?"

"Uh-huh," Cindy nodded, turning down the television.

"I'm really glad to see things have worked out so far," Beth said, letting in a slight pause. "Your father says you're really adjusting to it."

"I am," Cindy said, realizing she had nearly broken down when Ian and Faith had left. Since that point Cindy had been very firm with herself. She wouldn't do that again, no matter how lonely she might be.

"Then I'm proud of you, Cin," Beth said. "I just wish you'd come home to Whitebrook for a little while. You know we all miss you."

"I know," Cindy said, knowing that she didn't, but finding the lie easier to say. "I miss you guys, too."

"Oh, here's your father," Beth said. "He's been wanting to talk to you."

"Put him on," Cindy nodded to herself, sitting up on the sofa.

"Alright," Beth said. "I love you, Cindy."

"I love you too, mom," Cindy smiled, listening to the phone transfer and her father's voice boom into her ear.

"Cindy!"

"Hey, dad," Cindy smiled, crossing her legs under her. "How's Saratoga?"

"Everything is running great," Ian said, sounding chipper and excited about race day. "Lady is putting in some fabulous works under Ann, who met us up here the other day, and Res Mira looks like she's set for the juvy fillies."

"That sounds great," Cindy nodded her head, remembering that Wonder's little bay filly, Res Mira. The last time Cindy had seen Res Mira was when the beautiful filly was a yearling.

"You'll be watching down at Belmont, I suppose?"

"Uh-huh," Cindy said. "I wouldn't miss it."

They talked a little longer, mentioning some of the horses Cindy had taken on since Micky had left, including the bay terror, Bosta, before Ian handed the phone off to Ann, whom Cindy hadn't seen in over a year.

"Cindy!"

"Hey, Ann," Cindy laughed.

"I heard you had moved up to Brooklyn to work at Belmont," Ann said.

"I am," Cindy nodded to herself. "I'm working for Lucas Simm."

"I know!" Ann practically shouted. "I am so jealous. To be working for the leading trainer of Belmont Park…"

"Well, it's not like I'm jockeying for him," Cindy laughed, correcting Ann. "There isn't that much to be jealous of."

"Come on," Ann insisted. "You'll be riding soon enough. You really should have come up to Saratoga to see everything. The house up here is filled, but you know Josie and I would share a room with you."

Cindy grinned at the thought of her cousin, Josie Taylor, who was making quite a name for herself as Whitebrook's youngest jockey.

"Thanks," Cindy smiled. "But Lucas gave me orders down here. I'd love to come up there and see you guys."

The phone call lasted several more minutes, with Cindy being handed off to Josie and Faith and even Mike. It seemed that the only person Cindy didn't talk to was Ashleigh by the time she had gotten off the phone, smiling at all the familiar voices filling her head. She could live without talking to Ashleigh. There were only so many ways to apologize, and Cindy was afraid she had hit them all without even a remote chance at forgiveness from Ashleigh.

Cindy glanced at the coffee table, where she had laid down a photo album that she had been looking at earlier in the evening. On the upturned page was a picture of herself and Ashleigh, arms hooked around each other's necks and smiling at the camera. They were at the track, Cindy realized, and Storm's Ransom's polished gray head was held high above them.

With a swift movement, Cindy reached out and closed the album.

"It's a beautiful fall day here at Saratoga Springs, where the horses are getting set for the…."

"So who are we going for?" Audrey asked as she plunked down on the couch next to Jack, folding her jean-clad legs underneath her.

"Counting Crosses in the Sprint and Red Army in the Juvenile…" Jack began.

"Wonder's Lady in the Distaff and Res Mira in the Juvenile Fillies," Cindy added, looking at the racing program.

"I like Wind Song in the Filly and Mare Turf," Mary added from behind the desk as she leaned back in Lucas' chair. "And Bellus Animus in the Mile."

"What about Dolabella in the Distaff?" Audrey asked, looking over at Cindy. "She did win two big stakes here."

"Saratoga is Lady's track," Cindy said without looking up. "She always wins there. What about Eagle One in the Turf?"

"He's got a great record coming into it," Jack nodded. "But he may be past his prime."

"I was thinking Silvia in the Turf," Audrey said, looking over at Jack. "I've got to respect a filly racing in a colt's event."

"She's only got one race against colts," Cindy frowned. "I really don't know why she's entered in that race."

"Well, I like her," Audrey defended, turning to Jack. "Who do you like?"

Jack only stared at her, and then at Cindy, noticing that they were both staring at him. "Well," he said slowly. "I'm going with Star Shattered. He's the defending champion."

Cindy only shrugged, turning back to her program as Audrey stared at the television.

"Oh, look at that one," Audrey grinned, pointing at the coppery bay colt walking across the screen. "Who is that?"

"Austin," Cindy said, looking up and noticing the three-year-old colt. "He won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness this year. Lost to Wonder's Lady in the last few strides of the Belmont."

"I'm definitely for him," Audrey said, nodding. "No one could beat him in the Classic."

"He's a good horse," Jack nodded. "Good pick."

"Thank you," Audrey grinned, looking over at Cindy. "Who are you picking in the Classic?"

"I'm going for In Majesty," Cindy said, watching a clip of the nearly black colt's head through the opening of his stall. "He's a four-year-old, and by In Shadows."

"Hum," Audrey shrugged, glancing back at the television.

The races began without a hitch. Cindy watched the horses for the Juvenile Fillies, managing not to flinch when she saw Ashleigh on the screen talking to reporters. Ann mounted up on Res Mira, the blood bay filly tossing her black mane and sauntering out of her stall with a flick of her tail.

"She's a beauty, Cin," Mary said, leaning forward in her chair to watch the fillies warm up on the track.

"Yeah, she is," Cindy nodded, regretting that she hadn't been around for the filly's training. Once she had been given Joy and taken charge of training her, Cindy had gotten out of the loop at Whitebrook, focusing solely in one place and forgetting the existence of other horses, like Lady, Mira, and even Maverick Decision, the filly she had helped train as a yearling.

"And now for the call of the race…"

Cindy sat up and watched Ann and Res Mira enter the gate, the shimmering bay filly standing quietly as the rest of the fillies loaded before the gates burst open and the horses were released onto the track.

"And they're off!"

Res Mira got off to a good start, settling on the rail with Ann's blue and white silks flashing occasionally through the crowd of fillies.

"She's in good position," Mary mentioned as the fillies rounded into the backstretch, galloping easily to save ground. Cindy saw Ann collect Res Mira as the bay filly tried to move past a chestnut on her outside, tossing her head in agitation.

"Whoa," Cindy murmured under her breath, watching the bay filly settle as they began the turn for home, wrapping around the rail and beginning to pick up pace.

"Time to run, girl," Cindy whispered, watching closers begin to pick up their stride, the leader drifting out as they hit the homestretch. Res Mira was barreling forward on the rail, Ann lowered in the saddle with her arms kneading in the motion of the filly's neck. Horses were falling away as Res Mira galloped forward, running past the faltering leader.

"That's it!" Cindy grinned, unable to contain her excitement. There was nothing like watching one of Wonder's children find their stride in the homestretch. They were magnificent to the end.

"There's a horse on the outside," Jack said, reminding Cindy that the race wasn't over yet. Surely enough, another bay was closing in fast, wheeling up on the outside and snaking her head forward in attempts to catch Res Mira slacking on the lead. But the Whitebrook filly found more deep down and pushed, catapulting past the wire a half-length in front.

"Yes!" Cindy shouted, raising a fist in the air as she watched Ann do the same on television, waving her crop in the air as Res Mira slowed on her own, arching her sweaty neck as an outrider came to collect her.

Cindy watched happily as Ann jumped off Res Mira in the winner's circle, giving the young filly a hug and kiss on the nose before being pulled aside by a reporter. Res Mira was covered in the traditional purple blanket and walked back to the barns to applause in the stands.

"That was fantastic," Mary said. "What a great way to start out the day."

"No kidding," Cindy replied with a relieved sigh. She hadn't noticed how tense she had been before, but with Res Mira's win she felt so much better. Now there was only Wonder's Lady, and then she could watch the rest of the Breeders' Cup with relative ease.

Through commercials and a little piece on Wonder's Lady and Whitebrook, the Breeders' Cup Distaff went off without a hitch. Ann guided Lady through a clean trip, and pulled her through a tiny opening in the homestretch, catapulting through to beat Dolabella by two lengths. Even Audrey's frown didn't make Cindy stop shouting for joy.

When Lady pranced back to the grandstand covered in sweat and a film of dirt, Cindy caught Ashleigh standing by in a navy dress suit, her brown hair pulled back in a low ponytail as she accepted Lady with a grin on her face.

"Maybe we can aim toward the Classic for next year," Ashleigh called out to the giddy reporters, who were vying for her attention. "She's certainly proved that she can bounce back for the win."

"What about Dubai?" One reporter yelled. "If she beat Austin in the Belmont, would you consider going to Dubai?"

"In due time," Ashleigh laughed. "We've gone there once, and it was pretty hectic. If we go again with Lady it would have to be under perfect conditions."

Cindy watched as Lady was cooled down and the purple blanket thrown over her back, the beautiful chestnut raising her golden head to eye the crowds as she trotted back down the track.

"Dubai, huh?" Jack asked, looking over at Cindy. "That's a pretty big jump forward."

"I know," Cindy nodded, wondering what on earth had possessed Ashleigh into thinking Lady might run in the Dubai World Cup. After all, Champion had barely won and he was a Triple Crown winner.

"Well, she is a lovely little filly," Audrey shook her head. "Maybe she can do it."

"It's possible," Cindy nodded, finally agreeing with Audrey before changing the subject. The memories of riding in Dubai were getting to her, and Ashleigh's words about the last trip being hectic hit too close to home. "What's the next race?"

"The Sprint," Jack said, pointing out Counting Crosses to Audrey after the commercial break. The big dark brown colt was impressive and imposing. Cindy hadn't had a chance to see him work since the colt seemed to have been everywhere except Belmont the past few months, and after the Breeders' Cup the four-year-old was most likely going to be retired.

The Sprint went off easily, with Counting Crosses taking the immediate lead and running down the other horses, making the race his within the first few furlongs.

"This is too easy," Jack laughed as Counting Crosses barreled across the finish line four lengths in front and sporting a new Breeders' Cup record for the distance. "Lucas is going to be thrilled."

"Does this mean another Eclipse Award?" Audrey asked, watching the brown colt being wreathed in the purple and gold garland of flowers.

"Most likely," Jack nodded. "And a huge stud fee."

The rest of the day moved quickly by, even with growing tension radiating between Cindy and Audrey. It seemed to Cindy that she couldn't even throw a question in Jack's way without receiving a look from Audrey that made her want to snap her mouth shut before a syllable could escape her lips. Mary noticed, and gave Cindy an arched eyebrow from across the room, making Cindy glad that at least one other person in the room was noticing.

In the Juvenile, Cindy watched out for Laura, wishing she could be there to see her run in her first Breeders' Cup. Red Army looked spectacular, prancing up the track with George in his saddle. Titus was also in peak condition, and with Laura on his back Cindy couldn't decide who to root for. The room was overwhelmingly pro-Red Army, so Cindy decided to go along with the flow and when the gates bounced open and the chestnut colt stumbled right off the bat, everyone collectively gasped.

"Get up!" Cindy called, watching George vault up on the colt's neck as Red Army nearly went to his knees before shoving himself up, losing position and galloping blindly for the lead.

The race was lost for the red colt, and Laura had Titus going strong by the end. Red Army put in a glorious fight for the finish, uncharacteristically coming from behind to challenge Titus for the race.

The stumble had hurt Red Army's chances, and Cindy felt a mixture of happiness and depression when Titus crossed the finish line first, Red Army only a neck back in second.

"A good race," Jack said, despite the obvious stumble at the start. "He nearly had that."

"Almost just as well," Cindy said, leaning back. "He'll avoid the classic two-year-old champion curse for the Kentucky Derby."

"How can you say that?" Audrey asked, frowning. "He just missed out on an opportunity for a championship."

"Well," Cindy said slowly, staring up at her and Jack, who seemed a little perplexed at what to even say. "I was thinking a little in advance. Typically, two-year-old champions don't do very well as three-year-olds…"

"Red Army could have won if he hadn't stumbled," Audrey said, annoyed at something Cindy couldn't quite figure out. "Maybe Lucas should rethinking George's abilities."

"What?" Cindy asked, shocked.

"Stumbling at the start usually has nothing to do with the jockey," Jack said soothingly. "It's usually bad luck."

Audrey didn't say anything else except look a little defeated, as though she had just lost a serious amount of money on the race. Cindy could only give Mary a quiet glance, which was returned in kind.

In the Turf, Silvia, a delicate chestnut mare, actually won by two lengths, shocking Cindy while Audrey grinned in triumph.

"Two dollar sentimental bets are so sweet sometimes," Audrey laughed when it was announced that the filly had just returned over a hundred dollars for a win bet. Cindy only secretly rolled her eyes and watched the Classic kick off under the fading light.

It was In Majesty's day. In a long stretch duel, the son of In Shadows won the Classic by a bob of the head over Austin, his blue-black body practically glowing in the fall sunset. It was beautiful to watch, and Cindy didn't say anything when she watched the win. She only smiled a little and stood up, stretching from sitting on the floor for so long.

"I think I'm going to catch a cab ride home, guys," Cindy said cheerfully, looking over at Mary. "You're on the way to my place. Do you want to share the cab fare?"

"Sure," Mary said, standing up and grabbing her purse. "I'm pretty much all set."

"Great," Cindy said, waving goodbye to Jack. "Is there anything else that needs to be done?"

"Nope," Jack said, getting up and stretching. "I've got the rest. I'll see you tomorrow, guys."

"Okay," Cindy smiled sweetly at Audrey, getting a small smile in return. "Bye."

That night, after the cab ride with Mary and an extensive conversation about what was going on with Audrey, Cindy laid in bed, staring at the phone on her nightstand. No one had called, and Cindy assumed that it was because everyone was celebrating, including Lucas, Ryan, and Laura.

Frowning, Cindy turned off the light and rolled over on her side, fighting off urges to be in Saratoga with her family and wondering what would have happened had she never received Joy. She finally drifted to sleep, watching the beautiful gray and silver filly galloping across her eyes.


	12. Starting Over

12.

Starting Over

By the time she got her truck back from the shop Cindy was a thousand dollars poorer and much more upset with the truck. However, it was working again and by the time she managed to get from the auto repair to the track she could see that Lucas had already started works.

Cindy pulled the truck up outside Lucas' barn and hopped out, shrugging into her lined jacket and frowning at the cold mist that enveloped the track. She could make out figures by the gap and could hear the muffled snorts of horses as they thundered by. Silently, Cindy tightened the chaps around her jeans and pulled her helmet and crop out of the truck before making her way down to the track, barely able to see where she was going.

As she walked through the mist she could make out the horses cutting through the clouds, their ragged breaths pluming out of their nostrils to make them look like magnificent fantasy creatures, the riders on their backs faceless and still.

"Cindy," she heard Jack's voice behind her and she turned around, smiling up at the assistant trainer that she could barely see through the fog.

"Hey," she greeted, squinting her eyes as Jack materialized from the barn leading Magical Tour, a dark gray two-year-old colt by Express Tour who was still too immature to race against serious competition.

"I see you got your truck back," Jack grinned, looking back at the blue piece of scrap metal. "I guess you won't be needing any more rides, huh?"

"Nope," Cindy shook her head. "I plan on running that thing into the ground."

"It looks like you're succeeding wonderfully," Jack said, as Cindy fell into step next to him, looking up at the gray colt who was to be her charge that morning.

"What's in store for Magic?" Cindy asked, putting a hand on the colt's sleek neck as they slowed next to the gap.

"A quick breeze," Jack reported from the clipboard in his other hand. "He'll be running in an allowance this weekend and Lucas wants him sharpened up just a bit."

"Sounds good," Cindy nodded, zipping up her jacket against the harsh November air.

Lucas had returned to Belmont a week ago, and since then things didn't seem to be going any faster. Much of his string had been shipped out of Belmont or up to Aqueduct, where winter racing was held annually. Magical Tour was set to van into Queens the day before his race. Red Army, who was set to fly to California for the Hollywood Futurity in December for one last run at an Eclipse Award, was still in winter training. Other horses, however, were on break until January. Counting Crosses was standing in his stall at Belmont, waiting for his owners to decide whether or not retirement was the right path for their two time Breeders' Cup champion.

Cindy had decided that the slow feeling around the track these days was attributed to the fact that Belmont was closed, and would be for several months. So for Cindy, who was accustomed to the fast pace of a busy Thoroughbred training farm, where something was always happening, going slowly was making her go nearly out of her mind.

"Aren't you antsy around this time of year?" Cindy asked Jack as Lucas approached them, nodding to Mary, who was bringing Queenie off the track.

"Not exactly," Jack shrugged. "It's a nice change of pace."

"You've got to be kidding me," Cindy frowned, looking out at the track at seemed to be covered in a thick veil. "Just even talking about it is making me jump out of my skin."

"Maybe you should find a hobby," Jack laughed, boosting her up onto the tall colt's back.

"Maybe," Cindy frowned, collecting the reins.

"Cindy," Lucas called, nodding out to the oval. "I want four furlongs at a running start. Once around at a gallop and start him at the mile pole. Be careful out there. We've had a few near collisions."

"Okay," Cindy said sharply, giving Magic a push out onto the track. Magical Tour pricked his dark-edged ears at the track and bounced into a trot, making his way through the fog that seemed to clear around him and lift slightly, allowing Cindy to see the whole track from the back of the horse.

"Okay, boy," Cindy murmured to the horse, feeling Magic begin to tug at the reins as she moved him faster down the middle of the track, listening to the breaths and the footfalls of other horses, keeping herself alert.

Magical Tour rolled around the track, his ground eating strides hitting the dirt and spraying it back as Cindy let him move faster into the turn, almost completely invisible through the mist that seemed to fall back down around them.

Out of the corner of her eye Cindy spotted the mile pole and gave Magic the command, smiling when the gray colt leapt to attention and began to soar forward, his breaths coming in raged gasps and his hoof beats falling faster on the dirt, picking up to a crazy rhythm that Cindy loved so much.

"That's it," Cindy called to the gray, watching the white rail slide past them easily as Magic tore through the turn, headed into the homestretch with his head bobbing and body rising and falling under Cindy. The pockets of fog came and went as Magic punched through the clouds, looking like an earthly version of Pegasus as he began to pick up speed, starting the last furlong of his work.

Then, suddenly, a startled squeal and a loud scream jolted Cindy, making her sit up in the saddle with Magic running down the finish line.

"Loose horse! There's a loose horse on the track! All riders walk their horses!"

Immediately Cindy stood up and threw her weight off of Magic's back, hauling back on the reins. Magic was going far to fast as the fog closed back down on them, making it impossible to see where the loose horse could possibly be.

Magic grunted and groaned, cutting his speed as Cindy asked and dropping to a graceful canter as Cindy pulled him away from the rail. The gray snorted and pulled on the reins impatiently as Cindy tried to listen for the sounds of hooves, but it was impossible to tell where they were. A van of horses was leaving the track, and muffled the sounds any horse would make, disorienting Cindy in the mist.

Magic came down to a trot and snorted, pricking his ears at the vast cloud around them. Cindy sat nervously on the colt's back, wondering where the loose horse was and hoping she could get to the gap with Magic. A collision between horses could prove fatal, and while Cindy had never seen one occur she was not willing to take the chances of one lightly.

"Okay, boy," Cindy said to the walking Magic. "Let's get to the gap and put you back in your stall. This is making me nervous."

Magic grunted and arched his dappled neck, striding out as Cindy headed him closer to the outside rail. Before she could, though, she heard hoof beats again clear as day and she automatically tensed, ready to move Magic any way she had to. Then, as if on cue, the fog lifted around her and she saw Bosta heading toward them in a crash course.

"Oh my God," Cindy yelled, wheeling Magic as the big gray shied at the sight, throwing his head up. Bosta also started, locking her hind legs and spinning too late, her hindquarters pulling out to smash straight into Magic's chest.

The impact of the crash sent Cindy flying off of Magic's back as the colt went down, his front legs crumpling in front of him as Bosta wheeled around and tore off in the other direction, flying back into the fog as Cindy laid on the track with her breath knocked out of her.

"Oh God," Cindy groaned, checking her body mentally as she heard people shouting, the track suddenly coming to life as the fog lifted entirely. Cindy could see Magic lying near her feet, conscious but obviously in pain. Cindy gasped as she sat up on the track, dirt pressed into her jeans and her jacket as she watched Magic struggle on the ground before her, his beautiful gray body covered in sweat and dirt.

Cindy winced from the pain of bruised or broken ribs and crawled over to the colt, putting a hand on his neck.

"It's okay, boy," Cindy murmured, looking into Magic's dark brown eyes. She crooned to him and stroked his face. "It's okay."

"Cindy!"

She looked up and saw Jack running down to her, an equine ambulance rolling out onto the track behind him.

"He's hurt," Cindy yelled back, tangling her fingers in Magic's dark mane as the young colt struggled. "I don't know what's wrong."

"Damn filly," Jack growled, going down to his knees next to Magic's head, looking down at the colt as Magic tried to lift his head. "Probably ruptured an artery."

"It's that serious?" Cindy asked, pulling off her helmet and stroking the colt's neck. "But he couldn't have. He's strong. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Bosta was flying out there," Jack muttered, waving for the ambulance as it inched up to the colt. "Are you alright?"

Cindy nodded. "I landed hard, but my head is just fine. Nothing's wrong with me, but I want to stay with him."

"They're going to put him down, Cin," Jack said as attendants opened up the back of the van.

Cindy's eyes widened and she looked back down at the colt, whose eyes seemed to already be glazing over.

"But they can't," Cindy murmured, petting the colt again, stroking him, wondering if she was even easing his pain. "He's not going to die."

"Come here," Jack said, standing up and pulling Cindy with him as track attendants started to help with the colt, Jack urging Cindy away.

"They need space to work," Jack reasoned, pushing Cindy away from the scene as she watched the medics work. Jack pulled her around the other side of the van, out of sight of the colt.

"Jack, I want to see," Cindy insisted, trying to pull his hand off her arm.

"Cin, you don't want to see," Jack said simply, and Cindy looked up at him, her eyes already red-rimmed.

"This isn't fair," she said quietly, looking down again.

"I know, Cin," Jack said as she collapsed against his chest in a tired heap. "I know."

Later in the week Cindy sat outside Magic's empty stall, peeling off the colt's name tag and crumpling it up in her hand. Magical Tour had died on the track due to a severely ruptured artery. There had been no question about what to do. The owners had consented immediately, and the colt had been put down before dying of internal bleeding as Jack had steered Cindy away, shielding her from the death of another horse.

Cindy stood up and looked in at the cleaned out stall, throwing the name tag into the trash as she walked out of the barn and headed for Lucas' office, frowning deeply. When she thought of the promising young gray Cindy couldn't help but think of Joy on the track, her body writing in the dirt much like Magic's had. Only Joy had gotten up to meet her death.

"Lucas isn't in," she heard Jack's voice as she looked at Lucas' closed office door, the Far Side cartoons noticeably less funny than they had been a week ago.

"Where is he?" Cindy asked, turning to see Jack, who was standing outside of Bosta's stall, watching the filly with a strange look on his face.

"He's talking to the Covault's," Jack said without looking at her.

"Why?" Cindy asked, already knowing. It had to be about Bosta.

"They're going to decide if she should head back out to her training facility," Jack said, finally turning from Bosta to look down at Cindy. "She isn't heading anywhere here, and Lucas doesn't have the time to devote himself to figuring her out."

"What are the other options?" Cindy asked, looking at the bay filly, who was viciously tearing at her hay net.

"Sell her, retrain her here, retire her as a broodmare, put her down," Jack shrugged. "The Covault's are tricky about what they want to do with problem horses."

"They have a lot of them?"

"Mr. Covault has an eye for the wired ones. Has eye for talent, too, but mostly gets caught up in the flashy qualities."

"I see," Cindy frowned. Whitebrook had never been like that. Ashleigh had always scanned pedigrees and picked apart temperaments. Cindy had found herself drawn to problem horses, like Champion and Honor, but not that they were full of glitz and glitter. They were challenges for herself, as a way to prove to everyone around her that she deserved every chance she got. Bosta had already proven herself to be more of a problem than Champion and Honor combined.

"Do you think she has the talent that her pedigree claims?" Cindy asked, looking over at Jack.

"Considering she's never run a race in her life I'd have to say she's borderline," Jack said. "We'll never know until she calms down and puts herself against competition. Pedigree-wise she's a star in the making. Temperament-wise she'll most likely win herself a one way ticket off the track."

Cindy frowned and looked at the filly, who was so beautiful it almost made Cindy's heart ache. She looked much like Fleeting Angel, a daughter of Dominion and Fleet Goddess, who had been exceptional and also had the same upbeat temper. If only Bosta could be retrained, Cindy thought, Lucas could have a Fleeting Angel in his hands, and that would definitely be something.

"What about starting over?" Cindy suddenly asked.

"Huh?" Jack asked, giving her a look with glittering blue eyes. He knew what she was asking him.

"We could start over with her," Cindy clarified. "If Lucas doesn't have the time, we can put her back on track."

"Now, wait," Jack raised a hand. "What's with the 'we' business? I distinctly remember never saying anything about retraining her myself."

"We'd do it together," Cindy said, grinning at her idea. "I ride, you train. It's perfect."

"Well, you are also forgetting that I don't have much time also," Jack said, shaking his head. "She's a head case, Cin. And it takes a lot of time to cure a head case."

"You don't want to help?" Cindy asked, frowning.

"I didn't say that," Jack laughed, rolling his eyes. "I'm just saying let me run this by Lucas first. If he has other plans, we go with those."

Cindy was silent for a minute as she watched Bosta come up to the stall door, her white stripe a wash of brightness on her face. The filly gave her a long look before snorting and disappearing inside her stall again, punctuating her departure with the crack of a hoof against wood.

"Okay," Cindy said, smiling as Jack nudged her and walked off, leaving Cindy to watch the filly alone.

She could see Bosta in the darkness of the stall, watching the filly and knowing she wasn't going to wait.

The next few days Cindy spent more time with the filly in efforts to get her nerve up. Lucas had come back from his meeting with the Covault's and announced that the filly had until the end of December. If there wasn't improvement she would head back to the training farm or, possibly, retirement. Since hearing the verdict Cindy had found herself in Lucas' office more often, scanning through books and also going through her huge collection at her apartment, feeling like she did when she and Heather first decided to train Glory on their own.

The only problem was that Cindy knew nothing about retraining a Thoroughbred. She had only been the helper at Whitebrook, and the horses there had never needed serious reconditioning. So when Cindy finally made her move to get a little time alone with Bosta she had more than a few doubts in the back of her head.

"Stop that," Cindy said firmly as she led Bosta into the cross ties, the filly tossing her head and threatening to bite. She knew how to handle horses like Bosta. She had done it time and time again with Champion, and Bosta was no different. Grabbing a stiff brush, Cindy worked it over the filly's coat, wishing Bosta had been able to head out onto the track to work out some of her infuriating energy. Unfortunately there had been a move by Magical Tour's owners to ban Bosta from the track, and the filly had been suspended from working until the paper work could be looked at and either approved or rejected.

Cindy worked on the filly's dirty coat, getting her way most of the time as she finished up, giving the surprised filly a pat on the neck for cooperating at the end.

"Now for the hard part," Cindy frowned, unclipping the crossties and grabbing the lunge line and whip. Bosta pranced around her as they walked, pricking and pinning her ears so much Cindy swore the filly must be a split personality. Cindy didn't let the filly get away from her, but by the time they reached the round pen a voice stopped her from opening the gate.

"And I assume you're doing what I think you're doing."

"Jack, come on," Cindy groaned, suddenly feeling like a kid again. "You knew I was going to do this."

"Well, good," Jack smiled at her. "At least my intelligence hasn't come into question."

Cindy only smiled and looked up at Bosta, who was behaving herself so far, pricking her ears at the round pen with curiosity. "Are you wanting to help out?"

"I talked to Lucas about it yesterday," Jack said, indicating nothing as he walked up to her and took the lead line from Cindy's hand. "He told me that if we've got the time and the know-how that we could do it. Now," he looked down at her with bright eyes. "Why do I feel like you don't have the know-how?"

Cindy started and glared at him. "I do have the know-how. I just…"

"Haven't exactly put it to use?" Jack asked, giving her a smart look.

"Oh, shut up," Cindy sighed. "Are you going to help out or not?"

"I suppose this would give you that hobby you're looking for," Jack joked, getting a glare from Cindy.

"Oh, I'm in," Jack said, looking up at the filly. "I train, you ride, remember?"

"All too clear," Cindy said as he took the lunging equipment from her.

"Okay," he said. "Open the gate and I'll teach you a few things."

As Cindy pushed open the gate Bosta fairly threw herself out of it, trying to bound away from Jack, who only held on and snapped the line tight, getting Bosta's attention immediately.

"Close the gate up and watch," Jack told Cindy over his shoulder as he attached the line to the filly's halter and tossed the lead to Cindy over the fence. Bosta immediately jumped away from Jack as he picked up the whip, the dark filly tossing her head up as she bounding and lunged as far as the slack line would allow.

"Stop," Jack commanded and pulled back, getting her moving on her easiest lead counter-clockwise around the ring. Bosta trotted jerkily with her head craned up and an ear pricked inward, monitoring Jack as closely as possible.

"Now we're going to start making her listen," Jack said as Cindy watched quietly, the filly bouncing until Jack got her down to a walk.

Bosta walked nervously around the ring, eyeing Jack and firmly ready to enter a battle of wills with him if she had to. After a few turns around the ring the filly had settled down and lowered her head, letting her tongue slip out of her mouth.

"There you go," Jack seemed to mumble to himself as the filly began to move out, striding easily around Jack. With a few flicks of his wrist and two clucks he had the filly trotting, her inside ear still trained on him as she arched her neck and pounded by Cindy. A few more clucks and a light movement of the whip got the filly into a canter and she was finally moving with complete ease, her stride beautiful and flowing when she put her mind to things.

"She's a beauty," Cindy called to Jack, who nodded and lowered the whip a little, letting the filly slow to a walk and turn in. "How do you do that?"

Jack smiled over at Cindy as Bosta walked hesitantly up to him, only to be rejected as Jack snapped the line, making Bosta move out again. The filly quickly flicked her inside ear to Jack and stuck the tip of her tongue out of her mouth, shaking her head low to the ground before Jack let the whip down again, the filly slowing on her own and moving in toward him eagerly, stopping just in front of Jack, only to be driven away again and set clockwise around the ring.

Cindy watched it in hushed awe, her eyes trained on the filly, who was moving with such grace she could hardly tell that the same filly had just been declared a horse killer on the track. Then she looked at Jack, who seemed to be immensely enjoying himself.

Finally, Jack let the filly in toward him and he dropped the whip by his side, putting a hand on the filly's nose as she pushed into his chest.

"Silly witch that she is," Jack said, motioning Cindy inside the ring. "I'd say she just opened up a little."

"That's astonishing," Cindy said, walking quietly into the ring and shutting the gate behind her. She walked slowly across the ring to where Jack was stroking Bosta's neck, pushing his hand into her mane as she pressed her nose into his shoulder.

"Believe me, she's far from running safely on the track," Jack chuckled.

"But she's one step closer to not killing something the next time she works," Cindy said, looking up at the filly. "I've never seen her so calm."

"She'll probably forget it all tomorrow," Jack said, looking over at her. "Want to give it a go?"

"I don't know how," Cindy said, shaking her head. "And I wouldn't want to undo everything you did."

"Who said I wasn't going to supervise?" Jack asked. "Besides, she's perfectly calm for the moment."

"Okay," Cindy said hesitantly as she watched Jack let go of the filly's head and put the line in Cindy's hand. He stayed behind her, picking up the whip and sticking it in Cindy's other hand.

"Drive her away," he said simply from behind her.

"Huh?" Cindy asked, confused. Jack only reached up around Cindy's hand and snapped the lead line, getting the filly's undivided attention and lifting up Cindy's other hand, raising the whip slightly off the ground. Bosta took off at a canter, rounding the ring until Jack told Cindy to slow her down.

Slowly, Cindy firmly pulled back on the line, getting the filly to trot with her head down, snaking along the ground with her tongue hanging out.

"See how easy she's being right now?" Jack asked, and Cindy nodded. She had never seen Bosta so agreeable.

"Get her back to a canter," Jack told Cindy from behind her, and she clucked to the filly, watching Bosta slide forward easily, her one inside ear pinned on her and her tongue still hanging out of her mouth.

"Now slow her down," Jack said, pushing on Cindy's hand to lower the whip to the ground. Bosta went to a walk within two strides and turned on a dime, heading in toward Cindy without hesitation to bump her arm with her nose.

"Pretty damn easy, huh?"

"Well, with you standing behind me. I'm sure she wouldn't have given me the time of day without you here," Cindy chuckled, letting the whip drop to the ground near their legs as they both stroked Bosta's face and neck, the filly letting out a surprising nicker.

"Nah, Cin," Jack laughed. "It's your womanly charm."

"Oh, shut up," Cindy laughed before Bosta pushed forward hard, butting her head into Cindy's stomach and shoving her into Jack, who wrapped an arm around her waist to steady them.

"Whoa," Jack said, righting Cindy, whose back was firmly pressed against his chest. Cindy flushed immediately and Jack let his arm fall off of her body, untangling themselves before they heard another presence outside the ring.

"Are you ready to head out, Jack, or do you have more important things to be doing?"

Cindy's flush turned into a raging blush across her checks as she darted forward, bending down to collect the rest of the lunge line at the sound of Audrey's voice.

"Yeah, Dre," Jack said, wiping his hands on his jeans as he turned away from Cindy and Bosta. "I'm ready if you are."

"Good," Cindy heard Audrey say loudly. "I mean, if you've got horses to look after I can wait. But we've got to get going if you want to get your car back today."

Cindy frowned to herself as she replaced the line with the lead rope on Bosta's halter and picked up the whip, cursing her blush. Jack had his car in the shop for an oil change, and obviously Audrey would be picking him up. How wonderful things must have looked to her, Cindy thought cynically.

"Why don't you just cool down Bosta and settle her back in. She's got a lot of thinking to do," Jack said as he opened the gate for Cindy, who led Bosta out and over the gravel lot to the barns.

"Right," Cindy stammered. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Good night, Cindy," Audrey said, sending her a sweet smile that Cindy could see right through to the angry glint in her eyes.

Cindy didn't even send a look in Jack's direction. Instead she walked with Bosta to Lucas' main barn and slid her inside her stall, so preoccupied that she didn't even notice that the filly had behaved herself the entire way.


	13. Riding Bosta

13.

Riding Bosta

"God, I cannot believe that woman," Cindy growled as she and Laura walked into the door of their apartment, Cindy making a beeline for the sofa and collapsing on it. Not only was she sore from riding Bosta and falling off three times in a row, Audrey had been completely insufferable that afternoon when they had all gathered in Lucas' office to watch Star Bank trounce his competition in a graded stakes at Santa Anita.

"She is a little on the tense side," Laura said as she walked into the kitchen and began rummaging, poking her head into the refrigerator to survey what they had to eat.

"Tense?" Cindy asked, laughing. "I don't think tense would describe Audrey right now."

"Okay," Laura paused and leaned against the refrigerator. "How about extremely uppity spoiled brat?"

"That's much better," Cindy nodded.

"I don't get it, though," Laura said, grabbing a Diet Coke and falling into the armchair opposite the sofa. "I thought she was pretty nice when I met her at first."

"Yeah, so did I," Cindy shrugged, groaning as her shoulder suddenly sent shock waves of pain down her arm.

"Then again, she was sending a few glances at you," Laura said, curling up in the chair after kicking off her shoes. "Did you two have some choice words for each other while I was away?"

"No," Cindy said, frowning. "Then again, I think she thinks I have eyes for Jack."

Laura almost choked on her Diet Coke, throwing a hand over her mouth before she could send a carbonated spray of Nutrasweet over the hard wood floor. After swallowing, she cried, "What?"

"Well, it's not like I do or anything," Cindy shrugged. "She just pops up at bad times."

"Bad times?" Laura stared at her. "Cindy, what do you mean by bad times?"

"Just," Cindy sighed. "The time we danced at that club, and then a few days ago when we were training Bosta. Jack was showing me how to work with her, and Audrey suddenly appeared."

Laura gave Cindy a long look, making her squirm.

"Stop it!" Cindy groaned. "Nothing is going on."

"Oh, I know," Laura nodded. "I'd probably hear about it by hundreds of people if there was. There isn't much that you can hide on the backside of a track."

"Plus Jack is like my older brother," Cindy added. "I can't describe how awkward that would be."

"Huh," Laura laughed. "I could see it."

"Oh, shut up," Cindy demanded with a smile, standing up and groaning as her sore legs felt the ground again.

"Sore?" Laura asked, watching Cindy hobble into the kitchen.

"Incredibly," Cindy nodded. "We've been working with Bosta nearly every day this week."

"I heard she was in some sort of trouble," Laura said.

"Yeah," Cindy nodded. "She literally ran into Magical Tour on the track and killed him. The owners were putting in a motion to have her suspended from the track. The stewards decided to give her one more chance, so we've got a little extra leverage before a decision about her has to be reached in December."

"She sounds like quite a story," Laura said from the living room.

"She is," Cindy nodded, slumping down in the sofa again with a bottle of water and Tylenol for her thumping headache. "Now, if I can get through this proposed Thanksgiving dinner, I will be happy."

It was tradition around Lucas Simm's barns at Belmont to gather for Thanksgiving. All of the hired help was welcome to gorge themselves on food at Lucas' summer home on Long Island, and Cindy planned to go with Ryan and Laura. The only thing Cindy dreaded was the look in Audrey's eyes when Cindy happened to find herself in conversation with Jack. The woman had jealousy down to an art form, and it intimidated Cindy beyond words.

"Just stick with Ryan and me," Laura offered. "Don't let Audrey get to you. She's obviously upset over something that isn't even an issue, so therefore you shouldn't be so concerned about it."

"Okay," Cindy said, taking a deep breath, wondering if what Laura said was even the case. There was nothing going on with Jack, and there wouldn't be. Nevertheless, Cindy felt just as inclined to see Audrey go back to California as she was to see Audrey secure enough to not feel jealous.

Suddenly the phone rang, and Laura was up like a shot to answer it. Cindy sat on the sofa a little longer, mulling over the issue while staring out at the dead trees that lined their street and the cold blue river that sparkled underneath the Brooklyn Bridge. She came to no conclusions before Laura was trotting back into the room.

"Come on, Cin," she said, hanging up the cordless phone in its cradle. "We're going to dinner and then riding with Jack and Ryan."

"Riding?" Cindy asked, looking up. "Where?"

Laura grinned. "Central Park."

"I really fell bad about not being able to go," Audrey said outside the restaurant as she dug through her purse to produce the keys to her Mercedes. "I'm not an accomplished rider by any means."

"Which means she can barely make it over four feet jumps," Jack joked, wrapping his arm around Audrey's shoulders.

"Please," Audrey laughed, checking her cell phone to scan through the messages. "Watching me ride would be like watching the circus go by. Plus, I have to pack for my flight tomorrow morning, and I was at the office all day."

Cindy raised an eyebrow as they stood out on the street, the cold wind picking up and beating at her cheeks insistently. Audrey had been a little distracted during dinner. If she wasn't heavily monitoring any conversation between Jack and Cindy, she was always checking her cell, scrolling through the numbers that seemed to be deposited there every five minutes.

"I feel bad about it," Audrey said, looking at everyone as she grasped her keys.

"No problem," Ryan laughed, nudging Audrey. "Just another forty bucks you don't have to pay for riding a horse around."

"Right," Audrey laughed, and waved everyone goodbye before kissing Jack lightly and jogging off to her car.

"Always in such a rush," Laura smiled as everyone turned to make their way up to 89th street, where Claremont Riding Academy was located, the only place that had horses for hire in Central Park.

"There was a crisis back at home," Jack explained, pushing his hand into his coat pockets as they walked. "Something about her brother nearly wrecking the San Diego branch."

"Not the best businessman?" Cindy asked, burrowing her nose into the soft gray scarf that was wrapped around her neck.

"More like incredibly absent minded," Jack shrugged. "The headquarters here is all in arms about it."

"I'll bet," Ryan nodded as they crossed. "Not everyday that a Mercedes dealership nearly goes under."

"So where is this place?" Cindy asked, changing the subject for the better. Audrey and her business was the last thing on her mind, and the last thing she wanted to talk about.

"Right in front of you," Laura laughed, pointing to the five story stone building before them.

"That's a stable?" Cindy asked, staring at the building in shock. "It looks like an old apartment."

"Pretty nifty, huh?" Laura smiled before grabbing Cindy's arm and dragging her across the street as Cindy's legs moved automatically, her eyes still resting on the tall building that was reportedly a stable.

When they entered the building Cindy stood in shock. There was the characteristic smell of horses and hay, and, as Ryan and Jack paid for the horses and the hours they would be spending in the park, Cindy stood dumbfounded as their mounts appeared from upstairs, each led by a groom.

"This is crazy," Cindy murmured to Laura, who laughed.

"Wait until we get into the park," she grinned. "You'll have the time of your life."

By the time Cindy found herself in the saddle of a spunky chestnut gelding named Cal, she was glad she had been able to find clothes suitable for dinner and riding. She looked down at her classy boots, mourning the fact that they might get ruined, but she found herself shrugging and riding along Jack comfortably, feeling the cold air nip through her jeans, wool coat and sweater.

"So what do you say, Cin?" Jack asked as they rode along behind Laura and Ryan, his bay gelding snorting and prancing next to her.

"This is fantastic," Cindy grinned, patting Cal on the neck as the young horse danced underneath her, pricking his ears at the darkening park. "I can't believe my family never did this when we were at Belmont for the races. I suppose they were always so busy."

"Are you headed back to Kentucky for Thanksgiving?" Jack asked, tugging his horse from biting Cal, the chestnut gelding threatening back as they made their way by the reservoir.

"Lord, no," Cindy laughed, shaking her head. "I don't have the money for that. Plus it would be a little more than awkward."

"You sure?" Jack asked. "You were pretty broken up about your dad leaving."

"Well, that was my dad," Cindy shrugged. "There's a whole farm I would be going back to if I went to Kentucky. And I'm not sure if I'd like to visit that."

Jack gave her a wayside glance and Cindy smiled, lightening the mood. "I can't wait to be part of Lucas' tradition, though. I guess Audrey won't be making it?"

Jack nodded his head. "She'll be staying in California until the end of the month. I'll just have to catch a ride with you and the dynamic duo up there."

Cindy looked up and saw Ryan and Laura nudging each other, laughing like maniacs over something she had no clue about. Cindy smiled and relaxed in the saddle, feeling Cal slide into an easy walk as they sauntered down the trail, feeling the cold November breeze billow through her golden blond hair.

Everything felt wonderful to Cindy. There was New York, Central Park under a cold but bright moon, and she was riding with three of her closest friends. She hadn't felt so in place since she had first moved to Whitebrook, and the fact that she had found the same thing in New York surprised her. Never did she think she would wind up here.

"What?" Cindy asked, casting a glance at Jack when she realized he was watching her.

Jack shrugged, and urged the bay gelding close to Cindy, the horse's shoulder brushing lightly against her leg.

"Just watching," he said, smiling before he heeled his horse forward, cutting between Ryan and Laura and leaving Cindy with a flush on her face.

"I've never been to Southampton," Cindy said, watching the dead landscape fall behind the car as they wound their way across Long Island.

"It's an experience," Laura grinned next to her, running her fingers absently against the leather of the Jaguar's seats. "Even I still have to take a few big breaths when I come down here. It's so astonishing."

Cindy nodded when she saw another large mansion rising up above the bare trees, staring at the house in amazement. The large estates lining the roads never ceased to shock her. Each one was big and grand in its own way, costing millions of dollars on the market and tended to with the best of care. Cindy had known that the grand old farmhouse at Whitebrook was something to see, but these houses put homes such as Ashleigh's to shame.

"There's Lucas' house," Ryan pointed out, and Cindy sat up in the backseat, watching the dark roof and stonewalls of the large house appear.

"God, it's huge," Cindy murmured in disbelief, staring at the perfectly done landscaping and the tall windows that graced the front of the house. All around in the circling driveway were parked cars, of which Jack's Jaguar would fit in classily.

"The ocean is on the other side," Laura said as they parked and got out of the car, staring up at the house. "It's an amazing place to be in the summer."

"I'll bet," Cindy nodded, her mouth hanging open at the sight of the waves crashing up onto the small private beach running along behind the house.

Ryan and Laura were already making their way up to the door before Jack pinched Cindy in the side, making her yelp and give him a confused glare.

"What was that?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

"You going to stare at the house all night or come inside?" Jack asked. "I'm sure there's plenty of stuff to stare at indoors."

"Oh, shut up," Cindy groaned, picking up her black skirt and walking over the cobblestone driveway, hearing her heels click against the set stones. Jack grinned behind her and followed to the door, holding it open for Cindy as they made they're way inside, Lucas grinning wildly as he ushered them in.

"What will it be?" Lucas was calling, cutting a path to the kitchen as Cindy followed the line, staring around her at the people milling about and the simple beauty of the house inside. Everything was elegant and rich, but everything had purpose, which to Cindy fit her idea of Lucas perfectly.

Cindy was silent as she watched the beautiful people of the horse world, not even registering when she was asked what she wanted to drink.

"Cindy," Jack said, touching her arm. At the feeling on her bare skin, she jumped and whirled around, meeting Lucas' questioning gaze.

"Gin and tonic," she said automatically, and Lucas nodded, putting in the order.

They walked around the house, Cindy in a hushed awe as she passed by big groups of people clustered around the roaring fireplace and the large windows that opened up onto a deck, pool, and a stretching wooded lawn before the view met the loud blue-gray ocean.

"Here, Cin," Lucas said, motioning to Cindy's black jacket. "Let me take your coat and you can get more comfy around here."

"Sure," Cindy nodded, shrugging out of her coat and watching Lucas ferry the article into one of the many guestrooms. It was warm in the house, and with the large fire crackling away in the fireplace Cindy's bare shoulders didn't feel at all cold as she walked around the groups of people, sipping her drink while being perfectly content to watch. Half of her wanted to wander about on the beach, but the misty surf and the gray clouds moving overhead only reminded Cindy that winter was quickly approaching.

"You look like you're wishing for something," came a foreign voice from behind her. Cindy turned quickly around and looked up at the man before her, a little more than startled.

"I'm sorry," he said, pushing a hand through his sandy blond hair. "I'm David Hernon, Lucas' assistant trainer heading his Saratoga branch."

"Cindy McLean. I work for Lucas also."

"Which track?" David asked, cocking his head at her while still slowly shaking her hand.

"Belmont," Cindy said, pulling her hand out of his grasp. "One of his exercise riders."

"Ah, I see."

"Hey, Dave."

Cindy looked beyond her new acquaintance and saw Jack walking through the crowd, patting David's shoulder hard as if they were old friends. "How are you?"

"Great," David smiled. "Just talking with the lovely Cindy McLean."

Jack turned his dark blue eyes to Cindy and smiled, nodding to David. "She is captivating, isn't she?"

"God," Cindy groaned and quickly glanced away, catching a smile creep up David's mouth as Jack steered him in another direction.

"What was that all about?" Cindy asked him as soon as Jack made his way back without David, a stern look in his eyes replacing his earlier smiles.

"Just do me a favor, Cin," Jack said, looking out the window at the ocean. "And be wary around him."

"David Hernon?" Cindy laughed. "He hardly seemed threatening."

Jack only gave Cindy a look that seemed to transmit more than words could say and she only nodded, shrugging.

"Are you playing big brother lately or is it just me?" Cindy asked, nudging him as they leaned against the staircase.

"Hey," he smiled. "I'm just looking out for my favorite exercise rider. It's hardly brotherly."

"Uh-huh," Cindy laughed, but before she could say anything else the dinner was ready, and she found herself being swept away in the rush for the food.

On the last day of November, Cindy sat astride Bosta, feeling the filly's muscles trembling underneath her. The horse's concentration was all on Jack, and Cindy's concentration was all on Bosta as they moved around the ring, the line between the horse and the trainer picking up slack as Bosta began to finally collect herself, fleetingly responding to Cindy's commands and light touches.

"How does she look?" Cindy could hear Jack asking over to Lucas, who was standing by the fence, his arms crossed over the rail and his chin resting on his hands, looking completely relaxed.

"She's looking better," Lucas nodded, watching as Cindy urged Bosta into a canter and feeling the filly switch smoothly into the gate, tossing her tail and lowering her head as they went around in circles around Jack, the filly still completely attuned to his presence.

"You've been working with her how long now?" Lucas asked, watching as Cindy pulled Bosta back down to a walk, letting the filly take a breather. Bosta merrily kicked out as they slid into an energetic walk, the filly bouncing around like a plastic ball. Cindy only grunted. Long ago she had acknowledged that the filly would never make a dressage horse, nor was she expected to. Cindy rode out the bumps, as long as she stayed on and in control.

"Since the beginning of the month," Jack said, never taking his eyes off the bay filly as they pranced around, Bosta tossing her head and grunting anxiously. "We've still got a lot of work to do, but I think she'll be a little easier to handle on the track."

"I see," Lucas nodded, watching as Cindy pulled the filly down to a manageable walk and then a halt, reaching down to rub her hand over Bosta's neck as soon as she thought the filly wouldn't bolt underneath her.

Bosta grunted at the touch of Cindy's hand and lowered her head, watching Jack before deciding on her own to walk up to him, dropping her forehead to rub it against his shoulder.

"Very impressive for only a month's work," Lucas said. "What do you think about races?"

"Not yet," Jack shook his head. "Not until next year, maybe. Late spring, hopefully. I still want to go through a lot of work on the track with her, as well as gate training and paddock schooling."

"It's still a long road for her, then," Lucas frowned, sighing and pulling the purple Breeders' Cup baseball cap off of his head that read "Red Army."

"I think we'll keep her on the track," Lucas said. "I talked to the owners about it a little longer yesterday and they sounded like they wanted to give her a few more shots at winning them some races. Do you think you can handle what you have in store for her?"

Jack nodded. "Without a doubt," he said, rubbing Bosta's chin as the filly sidestepped away from him, Cindy sitting deeply in the saddle and soothing the filly to a halt.

"Ms. Cindy," Lucas called, getting her attention.

"Huh?" Cindy asked, looking startled.

"If it's not too much to ask," Lucas said, pushing away from the fence. "I want you to be her regular exercise rider. Mick is pissed as hell at that filly, and I don't think he wants much more to do with her. You want the rides?"

"Sure," Cindy said immediately, grinning at the challenge set before her. "I'd love to ride her."

"Good," Lucas nodded. "As long as you two know what you're signing up for, I'm happy to give this filly another chance."

With that, Lucas turned and made his way down the barn aisle, whistling a tune. Cindy grinned down at Jack and was just about to thank him before Bosta spooked and jumped to the side, depositing Cindy on the dirt with a soft thunk.

"Thought you could get away from one of these sessions without falling, did you?" Jack laughed, offering Cindy a hand.

Cindy sent him a withering look before grabbing his hand and letting herself be hauled up, brushing herself off.

"No, Jack," Cindy said, finally smiling as she looked over at the devious looking Bosta. "At this point I wouldn't dare think it."


	14. Blank

14.

Blank

The first week of December it snowed, white flakes billowing down from the sky and catching on the white frames of Cindy's windows, outlining them with frost and making the panes chilly to the touch. The hardwood floors of the apartment grew cold, making it impossible to walk over without slippers, so Cindy invested into a pair, slipping them on each morning before she fell out of bed at each ungodly hour.

"Can you believe that snow?" Laura asked in the morning, sipping at her coffee as she wandered through the Daily Racing Form. "I've never seen it like that in the beginning of December."

"Must be a special year," Cindy said from the sofa, staring at the Weather Channel, which only predicted temperatures to lower further, the snow promising to stick around until who knew when. Cindy sighed and turned off the television, standing up and shuffling over to the kitchen in her slippers, rubbing her lower back.

"Bosta do another number on you?" Laura asked, glancing over at Cindy as she rummaged through the fridge, finding a package of English muffins and tossing them on the multi-colored tile counter.

"Numbers upon numbers," Cindy sighed, pulling out one muffin and sticking it in the toaster, staring at the strips inside the machine turn orange. The filly had shown some progress on the training oval since working with Jack in the round pens, but Bosta was still flighty, breaking away from Cindy yesterday morning to take another journey around the track. Now her number was up, and the stewards were back to considering removing the filly from the track.

"It's too bad what happened yesterday," Laura said, shaking her head. "She was looking really great from the rail until that colt galloped up on her outside. You really hit the ground hard after she threw you."

"Tell me about it," Cindy muttered miserably, pulling the muffin from the toaster and covering it with jam. "I'm almost one hundred percent positive that the stewards are going to kick her off the track. Lucas is already arranging stabling for her at a private farm outside of Elmont. I just can't believe it, after all our hard work."

"She'll turn around," Laura said, giving Cindy a smile. "All she needs is another few months to mature. She's still a young horse."

Cindy shrugged, turning around with the muffin in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "I'm sure Jack is coming up with a plan. Besides, if she is moved to the private track things will be a little more calm. We'll be able to work with her without the stress of the track."

"See," Laura smiled before taking a sip of her coffee. "There's the bright side."

"But it's only a sliver of hope," Cindy said, plopping down at the bar. "If Jack can't get through to her, I'm not sure anyone can."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Laura said, finishing off her coffee and standing up. "Are you guys still going to watch the races in California this week?" she asked, changing the subject to a more promising topic. Red Army and Luna's Secret were running, the red chestnut colt in the Hollywood Futurity and the gray filly in the Dahlia Handicap.

"Of course," Cindy said. "I would be looking forward to it if Audrey wasn't back in town. She'll be there, and probably in her characteristic form."

Laura grinned at Cindy, rinsing out her empty coffee cup. "At least it's something to talk about," she chuckled. "In the winter months things seem to grow entirely too slow around here."

"And Red Army is pulling away to a convincing margin in the Hollywood Futurity!"

Cindy cheered along with the rest of the small crowd assembled in the lukewarm office, everyone watching the red colt taking the lead decisively at the one eighth pole and pull away, sweeping under the wire a grand total of five lengths ahead.

"Yes!" Cindy cried, giving Micky a high five as she bounced next to Jack, who was busy giving Audrey a long kiss in celebration. The day had gotten progressively better since Luna's Secret had come up lame in the Dahlia Handicap, being pulled up in the stretch, obviously in distress. George hadn't wanted to keep going after noticing something was wrong, and after a few brief moments of fighting the filly, Luna had dropped to a canter at the top of the stretch, stumbling to a trembling halt.

Lucas' call to the Belmont office calmed everyone's fears, telling everyone that the filly had only strained a tendon. It was an injury the promising filly could bounce back from, with care and hard work that Lucas was willing to shower on her in the slow winter months at Belmont.

"What a wonderful way to end the day," Cindy said, falling back onto the couch to watch George circle the victorious Red Army, the colt prancing and tossing his deep red mane, dancing through the dirt. Lucas was in the winner's circle already, awaiting the colt with a huge grin on his face.

"No kidding," Laura sighed from the desk where she was perched, laying her head against Ryan's chest. "Hopefully Luna will be back on track soon."

Cindy nodded. "She'll get the best of care," she said. "Plus she's coming back with Lucas and Red Army to winter here."

Suddenly the phone rang, and Ryan picked it up, answering for Lucas' stable. Cindy assumed it was Lucas himself on the phone, but Ryan's sudden darkening face made her heart stop cold in her chest.

"Is there any way to overturn the decision?" Ryan asked, his hand tightening around Laura's as he looked up over the room, as if he were trying to transmit the news telepathically before he could get off the phone.

"I see," Ryan said darkly, frowning as he listened for a few more moments, nodding to himself.

"I'll make sure to give the news to Lucas Simm," Ryan said after a moment. "She'll be transferred off the track as soon as possible. Thank you."

Cindy groaned, throwing her head back on the couch and closing her eyes.

"Kicked out?" Jack asked, and Ryan nodded.

"They want her out by tomorrow," Ryan said, resting the phone back in its cradle.

"You told them that it wasn't possible," Cindy said, remembering Ryan's words.

"They'll be willing to wait for Lucas to arrive back to Belmont, but they want her out of the stable as soon as possible," Ryan said. "She won't be allowed back into training at Belmont before she can perform well for the stewards."

"But I thought Bosta was making progress," Audrey said, obviously confused as she settled on the couch next to Jack, resting one leg over his lap. Cindy glanced over at her and shook her head dismally.

"What can I say?" Jack sighed. "She's a filly of many personalities. I just haven't been able to figure out Bosta on the track yet."

"She's does well in the round pen," Cindy frowned. "But her first lesson on the track was a mess."

Jack nodded as Audrey pointed her gaze at Cindy, making her skin squirm.

"I heard she got away from you," Audrey said, making it clear in her voice that she thought Cindy was somehow too incompetent to handle the filly.

"Cindy did the best she could with what she had," Jack said, coming to Cindy's defense before Cindy could open her mouth with a retort. "To be honest I didn't give her much to work with."

Cindy closed her mouth and let any anger die on her lips, watching Jack give Audrey a warning stare that told her to drop it. Audrey did while stiffening up, pulling her leg off of Jack's lap with some drama that Cindy raised an eyebrow at.

"I've got to head back up to the city," Audrey said, picking up her purse and slinging it over her shoulder haphazardly. "Walk me back to the car, Jack?"

"Sure," Jack said slowly, standing up and walking out of the office behind Audrey.

Cindy only leaned her head back on the sofa and closed her eyes, feeling Laura sit down next to her.

"You're lucky you didn't see the look she threw at you on her way out," Laura murmured, watching the door steadily as Cindy opened her eyes.

"No need," Cindy shrugged. "I could practically feel it drilling into the back of my skull."

Laura laughed and pushed Cindy in the arm, settling herself in the couch as Ryan had started to call around, trying to get into contact with Lucas.

"I don't know what her deal is," Cindy said, her voice cutting off when the door opened, relieving Cindy's fear when Mary walked in and not Jack.

"She's just threatened," Laura said, giving Cindy a long look. "You and Jack are working close enough as it is, and seeing each other off the track. It's inevitable that she'd start to have her worries. Especially with a girl like you," Laura laughed, having the ability to make Cindy smile.

"Shut up," Cindy grinned, immediately closing her mouth when the door opened again and Jack strode into the room, obviously having trouble covering up some concern in his face. But before Cindy could say anything he ran his fingers through his thick dark hair and shook his head, looking calm as ever again. Cindy frowned, looking away. In the back of her mind she knew that there was no reason to doubt Jack. If she were dating him, doubting his loyalty wouldn't be at all in her mind. Then again, Cindy chided herself, she wasn't dating him and that was how things would be. What Jack and Audrey's concerns were off the track was none of her business.

"What's the verdict with Bosta?" Jack asked, not looking a Cindy as he walked by, leaning against Lucas' desk.

"I've just got into contact with Lucas' cell," Ryan reported. "Hopefully he'll answer it this time."

Jack nodded, just as Ryan held up a hand signaling the phone had just been answered.

"Lucas?" Cindy heard Ryan ask. "It's about Bosta..."

"Keep backing her up," Jack called, waving for the white horse van that creaked and groaned over the slippery white snow. The snowfall had ceased the next day, but it had gathered thickly on the ground, making the backside a white encrusted mess filled with mud, hoof prints, and tire tracks. Cindy's truck sat dismally by the barn, covered in a light dusting of early morning snow.

Cindy herself was standing in the aisle, holding Bosta's lead rope tightly, the dark bay filly pricking her ears at the trailer with some vague interest. Cindy stood quietly by Bosta's side, running her hand over the filly's thick dark neck.

Bosta grunted and moved to rub her face against one shipping boot, nudging the burgundy and white piece with her muzzle.

"Stop," Cindy demanded, watching as the filly nearly got a hold of the strap to rip the boot off of her leg.

Cindy shivered against a bitter cold wind that swept around the van and into the warm barn, making her huddle into her barn coat that sported the burgundy of Lucas' stable colors and the large embroidered S on the back. Bosta stilled at her side, and Cindy stared down at herself, her eyes focused on her dirty boots.

"All set?" Jack asked, and Cindy looked up, startled. It was one of the first sentences he had spoken to her since the other day, when Audrey had stormed out of the office quite suddenly. In fact, Jack had been rather distant the entire day, and Cindy was beginning to feel that characteristic stab on nervousness in her stomach. It was ridiculous, Cindy knew. Nothing was going on, but here she was acting jumpy and skittish as the hyped up filly next to her.

"Yeah," Cindy said, her voice unnaturally hoarse as she led Bosta forward, the filly tossing her head and bouncing on her feet, craning her neck to get a good look at the open trailer in front of her.

Jack walked up and grabbed the other side of the filly's halter when Bosta began to balk, hauling back on her hind legs.

"Oh, no," Jack grunted, getting the filly moving forward again. "Into the trailer with you."

Bosta snorted and squealed, lashing out at the trailer as soon as Jack and Cindy got her inside, securing her into the metal box while the filly trembled angrily.

"I think that's it," Jack said, putting his hand on the filly's back and running it over her coat.

Cindy nodded and followed Jack out of the trailer, watching as he and Ryan put up the ramp and secured the locks.

Lucas had okayed moving Bosta from the racetrack, giving Jack directions to Owl Hollow Farm, a training center outside of the city that had agreed to board Bosta until the filly could move back to Belmont Park. Jack had volunteered to ship the filly, and Cindy had offered to go as well, wanting to see Bosta settled in her new surroundings.

"You have the directions to the farm and all?" Ryan asked as Jack took the keys for the van, Cindy walking up on the other side and swinging herself into the cab, slamming the door shut behind her and shivering in the cold.

"Yeah," Jack nodded, climbing up into the driver's seat. "I'll be back here in a couple of hours."

"See you two later," Ryan nodded, hitting the door twice as Jack started up the van, Bosta kicking at the side of the van as a testament to her state of mind.

"Okay," Jack said, putting the van into drive. "Here we go."

It took longer than expected to reach Owl Hollow, and Cindy found herself dozing against the door when Jack proved to be fruitless in conversation. Instead of dwelling on Jack, Cindy had fallen asleep to the gentle humming of the heater, waking up to the van lurching over gravel and the extreme cold of the window against her warm cheek.

"Jesus," Cindy jumped, suddenly wide awake. "Where are we?"

"Owl Hollow," came Jack's simple reply. Cindy glanced over at him and sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Well, no kidding," Cindy replied sarcastically, crossing her arms over her thick barn jacket and staring out the window shield, getting a glance from Jack in response. Cindy didn't bother looking back at Jack, finally peeved that he had continued to hold on to his distant attitude all the way to the farm. Instead Cindy focused on Owl Hollow, watching as they rumbled up the drive, passing by large dead Oaks and acres of white pastureland.

Jack kept driving into the training complex, three large barns rising up out of the snow and topped with white. They were dark brown with red trim, looking rather festive with Christmas garlands displayed over each window and gaping door.

Jack parked the van outside the third barn and killed the engine, Cindy hopping out into the cold air without a word. She slammed the van hard in synch with Jack and stalked to the back of the van, beginning to pull at the lock to open the ramp.

"Hold on, Cin," Jack said, tapping her hands. "I've got to go warn the manager that we're unleashing hell."

Cindy shrugged. "I can handle her while you do that."

"Have it your way," Jack said, walking into the barn as Cindy tugged on the lock, hearing it click and open in her hands. She lowered the ramp slowly and walked up into the van, giving the filly a long once over.

During the forty minute ride she hadn't seemed to damage herself, Cindy noticed while she began to undo Bosta's restraints.

The dark filly seemed to glare at her as punishment for putting her in the van, and Cindy crooned to her, stroking Bosta's neck repeatedly as she undid the last knot, taken completely by surprise as Bosta shot out of the van like a catapult, dragging Cindy with her as she backed rapidly down the ramp and slid on the slick gravel.

"Whoa!" Cindy called, feeling her feet nearly give out from under her as Bosta skittered over the gravel and shook her head, whinnying shrilly.

Cindy tugged hard on the lead rope, but Bosta was having none of it and hauled back, flicking her ears several times in confusion.

"Cindy!"

"Holy crap."

Cindy turned around and saw Jack and another man jogging out of the barn, Jack reaching above her to grab the lead line and pull the filly around, giving Cindy some slack. Within a few moments Bosta was still under Jack's hands and Cindy was leaning against the open van, looking frazzled.

"I see what Lucas meant," the man said, walking up to the filly and running a worn hand over her sleek neck. "You two have your work cut out for you."

"You haven't even seen the fireworks, yet," Jack chuckled, getting the filly to take a few steps to the barn.

"I'm eager to see them, I must say," the man returned, looking over at Cindy to introduce himself. "I'm Miles Bryer," he said, holding out his hand, which Cindy shook tiredly. "I manage Owl Hollow."

"Cindy McLean," she nodded, pushing away from the van as Jack began to lead Bosta into the barn, the filly clopping delightedly over the warm concrete.

"I've heard much about you from Jack and Lucas," Miles nodded, stepping into the barn with Cindy and pulling off his hat, revealing graying hair and a bald spot on the back of his head.

"Really," Cindy said, taking a curious glance at Jack. "There isn't much to talk about."

Miles laughed and shook his head. "Modest. Just they way I like them."

Cindy rolled her eyes and snorted, surprised when she heard Jack do the same. "You'll learn otherwise fairly soon," he said to Miles. "Just wait."

"Hey!" Cindy cried, getting a sliver of a smile from Jack as he put Bosta in cross ties, beginning to pull off her shipping equipment.

Cindy stayed at Owl Hollow for some time after seeing Bosta settled in her stall, walking around the property during the small tour Miles provided. The farm consisted of three training barns and two tracks, including turf, with conditioning trails and cottages for the employees. Cindy found that while it wasn't as large or well known as farms such as Townsend Acres and Whitebrook, Owl Hollow had its own distinct amount of charm. The people there were friendly, and Miles seemed even tempered enough to put up with Bosta for as long as it took, and that's all that Cindy cared about.

By the time Jack and Cindy climbed back into the van, Jack was speaking to her on somewhat friendlier terms. As they sped over the highway with the empty van bouncing behind them, they detailed their training plan for Bosta.

"I suppose we can leave after works end each day and go out to Owl Hollow to get some time in with Bosta," Jack said, leaning back in the seat of the cab as the sun slanted over the horizon, turning dark orange and bathing Cindy's pale hair with red.

"Sounds good," Cindy nodded, curling herself up in the passenger seat and unzipping her coat. The heater was on full blast, and she had begun to feel suffocated by the heat. "I suppose you're going to California for Christmas? I can do some round pen work with her while you're away."

Jack nodded to her offer. "Yeah, I'm going home with Audrey."

There was a small silence in the car and Cindy began picking at the bench seat with her fingers, finding loose threads in the upholstery and tugging at them mercilessly.

"Cin?"

"Hum?" Cindy asked, letting go of a thread and looking up at Jack.

"I know Audrey has been a little..."

Cindy raised an eyebrow and almost began to laugh, stifling it as Jack looked over at her.

"I know," he said, shaking his head. "There's really no way to explain it."

Cindy frowned, automatically feeling ashamed at her reaction. "I'm sorry, Jack. What were you going to say?"

Jack looked over at her and then back at the road, shaking his head. "Just that I apologize for her actions lately. She's been a little crazy about you, thinking that you had designs on me or some such."

Cindy shook her head, suddenly tired. "You believe that?" she asked, looking down at her hands.

"No," Jack laughed. "She had me second guessing you for a moment yesterday, but I can't really see you as the conniving type."

Chuckling, Cindy nodded. "It's not exactly my style," she smiled, before her face turned down into a serious frown. "I don't really know where I'd be if I hadn't landed a job with Lucas," she added, picking at her nails before suddenly looking over at him and meeting his dark blue eyes with her own. "But I do know that it would have been hard for me to stay here if I hadn't met you and Laura. You're a good friend, Jack."

"Same with you, Cin," Jack said, reaching over and ruffling up her hair.

"Stop," Cindy mock cried, batting his hand away. "You'll ruin my stylish limp hair."

"Never change, Cin," Jack laughed, putting his hand on the steering wheel and relaxing in the seat.

"You too," Cindy murmured, curling her legs underneath her and settling, happy to know they had something resolved between them. She leaned back in her seat and felt sleep tugging at her eyelids, as the sun began to slip underneath the city scape of New York. Eventually she closed her eyes and slept, Jack her last vision before waking.


	15. Happy Holidays

15.

Happy Holidays

Cindy laid in her bed with the covers drawn up over her head, curled up and refusing to move. Brooklyn was alive under her window, echoing with horns and rumbling vehicles. The snow on the streets had melted to a slush, but tiny flakes still drifted down every once and a while in the cold.

It was Christmas, and New York didn't stop to enjoy Christmas.

Cindy, however, was stuck in bed, coughing and rubbing her nose with tissues, tossing used ones to the floor below her. She had intended to go say hello to Bosta at Owl Hollow, but her truck had died at Belmont again, and, she had to admit to herself, she was sick. After working for so long with the filly in the cold during the days leading up to Jack's departure for California, Cindy had fallen victim to the common cold, and in truth she felt miserable.

Christmas always had done her in, before she had come to Whitebrook and discovered the joys of having family to celebrate with. Before Whitebrook she had suffered through little displays of affection from foster families, and now, after Whitebrook, she was completely alone. Ryan and Laura had gone upstate to celebrate in his family cottage, Lucas had left yesterday for Kentucky to visit family, and even Mary had taken some time off to go to Maine. The only person running the stables was Micky in light of Cindy's cold, even though Lucas had promised to be back the day after Christmas.

Jack, of course, was in California with Audrey, most likely basking in the warmer weather and soaking away all of the New York chill in his bones. Cindy grunted and threw off the covers for a moment, getting some fresh air, just as the phone began to ring.

"Hello?" Cindy answered miserably, brushing at her nose.

"Merry Christmas!"

She winced at the sound of her family shouting into the phone, but she smiled anyway, happy to hear familiar voices.

"Hi, guys," Cindy laughed, covering a cough.

"Are you sick, Cindy?" came her mother's worried tone, and Cindy automatically went to defense mode, assuring her mother that it was only a little bug, and she was doing everything to get herself better.

"I'm fine, mom," Cindy said, sniffling. "Just a little cold. Merry Christmas."

"Did you get the packages we sent?" Ian asked over his line, and Cindy nodded to herself. "Uh-huh, I just haven't opened them up yet."

Samantha laughed. "Well, you need to get on that. We were calling you to say thanks for what you sent."

Cindy smiled. "I hope you like everything."

There was a huge round of thank you's, and Cindy blushed, wishing to some extent that she could be there with her family as they had opened their gifts under the tree.

"What are you doing for Christmas?" Beth asked. "I would have loved for you to be here. You should get off for your birthday and come down here. It's been too long, Cin."

"Oh," Cindy smiled. "I'm just nursing this cold and I've got to take the truck back to shop. Everyone is away this Christmas."

"I bet New York is lovely this time of year," Samantha said, sounding excited although Cindy had completely ignored promising Beth a visit during her birthday. Everyone knew Cindy wasn't going to come, but Beth had high hopes anyway.

"It is," Cindy nodded, although she hadn't found the time to go into Manhattan to look at the decorations. Brooklyn was being festive enough. "How are things there? How's Glory?"

"Everything is doing wonderfully," Beth said.

"Lady and Res Mira are resting up for the January races," Ian said, keeping Cindy informed on the racing matters. "Ashleigh is thinking about heading her to the Dubai World Cup this coming spring, so we've got to prep her for that."

"She's seriously thinking of running her in that?" Cindy asked, surprised. "I was thinking that was all talk for the press."

"No, she's honestly considering it. Lady would be the first filly to run against the boys there. It would be a race to watch."

"Definitely," Cindy agreed.

"Glory is doing wonderfully," Samantha interjected. "He's turning white as snow, but he's doing great."

"Good," Cindy said, smiling at her memories of the beautiful gray stallion.

They talked for some time about little things, laughing together as they used to, before they had to go, Cindy hanging up with mixed emotions. She so desperately wanted to go home at times, and yet a part of her never wanted to go back. Sighing, she threw the covers off of her legs and got out of bed, putting her feet into the slippers and wandering into the empty apartment, the windows outlined in twinkling Christmas lights.

Cindy smiled, remembering helping Laura put them up. She rubbed her nose a few more times before making breakfast and wandered up to the three large boxes that sat next to the couch, approaching them with a pair of scissors.

She worked silently, grinning at the gifts as she opened them. She got a new pair of boots to replace the old worn ones she had been using for nearly a year, and three sweaters from her parents. She opened Samantha's present, which was a new photo album crammed with photos of everything that had been happening while she was away. There were pictures of Glory and the rest of the stallions, including the new foals that year, their names written beneath each one. There were also pictures of Shining, Fleeting Angel, Wonder, and Fleet Goddess, who were all in their late stages of pregnancy. Cindy grinned when she saw Faith on Maverick Decision, the bay filly galloping out next to Lady. Maverick had taken to the grass instead of the dirt, much like her sire, Rahy. She had been injured going into the Filly and Mare Turf race for the Breeders' Cup, but Ian had predicted a strong come back for the filly that Cindy had seemed to forgotten.

Cindy closed the photo album and placed it on her book shelf, happy to know her favorite horses were doing well at the farm. She opened a framed sketch of Champion from Heather, her best friend in California. Heather was just finishing up her art program at one of the most prestigious art schools in the country, and Champion looked so realistic on the page that Cindy felt tears spring to her eyes as she touched the glass covering the paper and charcoal lines.

She set the frame down and sniffled, wiping at her nose with another piece of tissue. She wondered how Champion was doing so far away in Dubai. His first foals would be turning two in January, Cindy realized, and would start to run in Europe and Dubai by next fall. Possibly she would run into a couple Champion foals in the states if she kept her eyes open, but she knew the likelihood of that happening was slim.

Taking a large breath, Cindy stood up and carted her presents into her room, finding just the right spot for Champion's picture on her wall. She took a step back and stared at it for a moment, wondering about what could have been, before she shook her head and scrubbed at her face, wiping away the tears that threatened in her eyes.

"You doing okay, kid?"

"Yeah," Cindy nodded, wincing as Lucas tossed her up into the saddle of Queenie, the bay mare dancing happily in place in the cold weather. Cindy was bundled up, her new boots encasing her freezing feet, jeans covered in chaps, and her body protected by several shirts and her thick stable coat. The cold was seeping through, though, and her cheeks were pink with it.

"I'm just breaking in a new pair of boots," Cindy said, showing off the new footwear.

"They are quiet spiffy," Micky laughed, trotting up on the outside with Red Army, the chestnut colt chomping at the bit and tossing his thick red mane.

"Christmas present," Cindy explained, sitting in the saddle as Queenie settled down, ready to get to work.

"It's good to hear you're being pampered, Cin," Jack called, leading My Delight, a gray four year old filly that was to be Queenie's new running mate, Mary walking quickly behind them.

"Shut up, Jack," Cindy laughed, tugging on Queenie's reins as Jack gave Mary a leg up onto Delight, the gray filly walking out onto the track calmly.

"Okay, settle down you two," Lucas demanded. "Girls, we're giving them five furlong breezes. I'm running them both at Aqueduct come January, and they need the prep work."

"Gotcha," Cindy nodded, turning Queenie to the gate, the steady mare rolling into a canter at the lightest command. Mary wheeled Delight behind Cindy, catching up with a few quick beats.

"How was your Christmas?" Mary asked as they approached the training gate, tugging back on Delights reins as the mare tried to bound away into a flat gallop.

"Pretty quiet," Cindy said, shrugging. "Yours?"

Mary grinned and held up a bare hand. "Thomas proposed to me!"

Cindy nearly did a double take when she heard that, turning to stare at the diamond ring glittering on Mary's finger. She hadn't known Mary very long, but she knew she and her boyfriend were very serious, and automatically a grin widened Cindy's mouth.

"That's fantastic!" Cindy cried, laughing. "When's the date?"

"We haven't set it yet," Mary shook her head, all smiles. "But I want it to be a summer wedding during Belmont's season so everyone can come."

"Wow," Cindy grinned. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks!" Mary laughed as they stopped by the gate, Ryan leaning against it with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you two done gossiping?"

"Nope," Cindy grinned. "Give us a few minutes."

"Right, Cin," Ryan said, grabbing Queenie's bridle. "Let's get you guys on the move."

Cindy waved to Mary as she loaded into the one hole, Queenie settling in the gate like the pro she was, Delight walking in after her and rattling around some, craning her neck and flicking her ears.

"Okay," Ryan warned, putting his hand on the lever. "Ready?"

Both girls nodded, and then the gates flew open. Delight was off like a shot, plowing to the lead as Queenie plunged out of the gate on the rail, Cindy encouraging her softly to take her time. Lucas wanted Queenie to run her way, increasing her speed until she was roaring at the finish.

Delight continued to fight Mary for rein, jerking her head down and running strongly as they bent into the turn, the mares beginning to increase their speed. Cindy leaned forward on Queenie's neck, urging sitting still to let Queenie take command. She had been riding the mare long enough to know when Queenie needed encouragement and when she didn't. This was one of those days when Queenie didn't need the extra command to run.

Suddenly the bay mare was a streak, running fast next to the rail as her hooves dug into the hard dirt and kicked it back in a thunder of frenzied beats. Cindy grinned atop Queenie, feeling the mare put her all into the breeze, zipping up the rail. She ducked to the outside with some guidance from Cindy and plowed past Delight on the rail, her black mane and tail streaming behind her as they flew past the last marker, Cindy standing up to let out a cry of excitement.

"A minute and one!" Lucas called from the gap as Cindy jogged up with Queenie, the bay mare blowing and showcasing, Delight trotting up after her.

"She was speeding up at the end," Lucas nodded with satisfaction. "A very nice work, I must say."

"Ready for the allowance in January?" Cindy asked, grinning.

"Hell," Lucas shrugged. "If she keeps going at that rate I might put her in an ungraded stakes by February."

Cindy grinned and gave Queenie a good pat on the neck, grinning wildly. "Did you hear that, girl? You're moving up in the world."

Queenie snorted and shook her dark mane, pawing at the ground as Cindy jumped off the mare, pulling her reins over her head.

"I'll take her," one of Lucas' Cuban grooms nodded to the mare, accepting the reins from Cindy and leading the excited mare back up to the barns.

It was only a few days after Christmas, and already everyone was back at the track, working with the horses that were scheduled to start racing as soon as Aqueduct opened in January. Lucas was back with Red Army and Luna, the gray filly resting comfortably in her stall, and the red colt taking his own short winter break before beginning serious training for three-year-old prep races.

Cindy had gotten over her cold and was back at exercising the horses through the bitter December weather, never pausing to break and constantly pushing herself.

"Hey," Laura called from down the track, jogging Titus up to the rail for William Lewis to expect, the other trainer watching his charge carefully. Titus was up for an Eclipse Award, which he was probably a shoe in for after his win in the Breeders' Cup.

Cindy waved back at Laura and began to walk up to the barns, pausing to look in on the horses and running her gloved hands through her cold hair. She was done with her line for the day, but she still wanted to see Luna, suspecting the mare was still dozing on her feet, enjoying her break from the track. Sure enough, the light gray mare was dead on her feet, her dark gray forelock falling over her forehead and over her eyes.

Cindy turned from the gray when she heard Lucas leading in Delight with Mary, nodding to Micky to take out Command Control, a new horse recently acquired through the September yearling sale at Keeneland.

"Are you going out to Owl Hollow with Jack?" Lucas asked, sending Mary and Delight on their way.

Cindy shook her head. "Bosta's getting pasture rest today," she reported. Bosta had been doing mostly pasture rest since her arrival at Owl Hollow, since Jack had left for California and only recently gotten back. Cindy had only found time to go out twice during Jack's absence, since her truck's recent breakdown had been larger than Cindy had thought, and she wasn't willing to pay for a rebuilt engine to keep it running. The truck had been towed and sold for parts, Cindy happy to see it gone.

"It's good to give them something of a break in the winter," Lucas said, nodding over at Counting Crosses, the dark brown four-year-old nuzzling his hay net. "He won't be getting another work, which I found out today."

"To stud?" Cindy asked, glancing at the multiple stakes champion. Not only had Counting Crosses one the Breeder's Cup Sprint twice in a row, he had also won the Breeders' Cup Juvenile and, if predictions were right for the year, would be a three time Eclipse Award winner.

"He'll be heading out to Claiborne Farm in a week," Lucas said. "I might toss Micky up on him and give him a trot around the training track, but he's done."

Cindy nodded, wishing she had been able to see more of the colt over the past few months. It hadn't seemed possible, with the colt running out in California and up at Saratoga under David Hernon. He had demolished the sprint division, which was much to Lucas' pleasure.

"Anyway," Lucas sighed, running a hand through his light brown hair, looking over at Cindy. "It's just as well that you're not going to go work with Bosta this afternoon."

"Why's that?" Cindy asked, giving Lucas a sidelong glance.

"You should probably go out shopping for a dress," he said, giving Crosses a stroke on the nose.

"A dress?" Cindy asked, confused.

"For the New Year's Eve party," Lucas said, giving Cindy a pat on the back. "Have I been giving you too much work to do? Because no one forgets the New Year's Eve party."

"It would have helped if I had known about it," Cindy laughed, shaking her head. "No one even told me."

"Well, you've been told," Lucas said. "Go out with Laura and buy something nice. All of New York's racing society will be there."

"Were is 'there'?" Cindy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The Ritz," Lucas said, heading off to his office. "So come on and grace us with your presence."

"You can count on it," Cindy murmured as his office door shut.

On the last day of December, Cindy stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at herself, wondering if she was meeting approval. She had put on makeup for the occasion, her lips a shade of dark nude that she wasn't really certain about. Her hair was up in large curls, dancing around her face luxuriously and brushing the straps of a deep red dress that she had fallen in love with at Bloomingdale's when she had gone shopping with Laura.

"You look great, Cin," Laura said between rushing around her cluttered room, jumping over piles of dirty track clothes in feet covered in panty hose, nearly slipping on the hard wood floor.

"Oh my gosh," Cindy called as Laura caught herself on the door jam, grinning foolishly. "Are you okay?"

"Just dandy," Laura grinned, pushing into the bathroom to survey herself. Laura, in Cindy's opinion, looked astonishing. She had on a dark sable dress, her long brown hair pulled back and collected at the base of her neck while a glittering golden necklace wrapped around her throat.

"What do you think?" Laura asked, picking at her eyelashes.

"Ryan will never be able to resist you," Cindy said playfully in a low voice.

"Shut up," Laura laughed, poking at her side, just as the buzzer began to ring.

"That's them," Laura announced, jumping and pulling on her shoes, running over the hard wood with loud cracks. Cindy smiled at herself in the mirror, grabbed her purse and coat, took a deep breath. She realized she was going to be the only person without a date to the New Year's Eve celebration, but that didn't faze her. She had gone to events alone and they had worked out well. Cindy pushed up her chin, shoved away her nagging doubts about the night, and followed Laura out the door to the waiting limo below.

The drive into the city was more than a little torturous. There were several traffic jams to wait through, and Cindy found herself staring out the window in efforts to not look at Audrey, who had plastered herself to Jack's side.

Lucas had brought a date with him, whose name was Carol. Cindy recognized her as one of the numerous track reporters, and one that frequented Lucas' barn. Carol had seemed very interested in learning Cindy's life story before the champagne bottle had been brought out, and now Carol was more interested in talking to Lucas, thankfully leaving Cindy's past in the dust where it belonged.

By the time they got to their destination, Cindy was the first out of the car, stepping out uncertainly in her high heels, nearly twisted her ankle, and was caught by Jack, who had climbed out after her.

"Watch those heels, Cin," Jack said, patting her back. Audrey offered her a stretched smile and whisked him by, walking pointedly into the hotel with Cindy falling into step behind the entourage, where she was finally content to be.

The ballroom of the grand old hotel went beyond any glamour that Cindy had seen in Kentucky. The old lights glowed romantically over the large room, and a symphony played in an entire corner, allowing people to dance as others mingled and drank next to the bars and tables that displayed all kinds of food.

Cindy was so shocked by her surroundings that she immediately lost her group, looking around in frustration until she calmed herself down gravitated toward the bar, getting herself a stiff gin and tonic before an oddly familiar voice got her attention.

She turned around and there was David Hernon, smiling down at her.

"You look a little lost," David laughed, holding out his hand. "Do you remember me?"

Cindy raised an eyebrow, remembering Jack's words back at Thanksgiving, but calmly decided to shove them away. Jack was not here, she knew no one around her, and this was the most familiar face she had seen since she entered the room.

"At Lucas' Thanksgiving dinner," Cindy said, letting him shake her hand again. "David, am I right?"

"Yes. And Cindy."

"Yes," Cindy nodded, scooting out of the way so he could order a drink, coming away with a scotch on the rocks.

"Did you come with anyone?" David asked, motioning to the side of the bar, where there was a small empty space.

"I'm with some friends," Cindy shrugged, following him and standing quietly, sipping at her drink.

"No date?" David asked, raising an eyebrow. "Not a very festive way to spend New Year's," he added, smiling sweetly.

"Well, it was either get dressed up and go on the town or curl up with a book," Cindy said in return. "I chose the town, although now I'm not so sure."

David shook his head. "Well, you look amazing, and just for the record I'm not just saying that."

Cindy smiled, feeling a blush wander up into her cheeks. "Thank you," she said, looking up at his handsome face and blond hair. "You look good yourself."

David laughed and nodded as another woman walked up, threading her arm through his.

"David?" she smiled, her voice low and sultry. Automatically Cindy could feel her guard going up. The woman batted her sparkling blue eyes at Cindy and turned David to look up at him. "Who are you talking to? You wandered off ages ago."

Cindy could feel herself bristling at the woman's tone, but David seemed to sooth all her nerves.

"This is Cindy McLean," he said, motioning to Cindy. "A jockey at Belmont, and winner of the Dubai World Cup," he added, looking from Cindy to the woman.

"Cindy, this is Eliza Worthing," my date for the evening.

"Cindy," Eliza said, letting a slow smile spread over her painted lips. "It was delightful to meet you."

"Likewise," Cindy lied through her teeth, watching David excuse himself with Eliza following on his arm. Eliza gave her a last haughty glance over David's shoulder and Cindy sighed, looking away. Now she knew she didn't belong here. David's false introduction of her told Cindy everything she needed to know about the class people wanted to see at such events. Cindy was a multitude of steps below any class these people were used to.

With embarrassment setting in, Cindy ordered another drink and headed for the quietest area she could, pushing through talking crowds and finding herself edging the dance floor, trying to get by before a strong arm stopped her and pulled her around.

"Cin?" she looked up and saw that the arm belonged to Jack, although this time she couldn't reach down and find a smile to show him.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked when he noticed she wasn't in the mood to be light and merry.

"I'm fine," Cindy shook her head, trying to pull out of his grasp that had suddenly become firm as iron around her arm.

"Excuse me," Jack said to the other men he was talking to before turning his attention to Cindy, who was getting increasingly annoyed.

"Jack, please don't," Cindy sighed, letting him walk with her out of the ballroom, and closing the door, Cindy finding herself standing in the hallway of the upper lobby, holding her drink and feeling like a fool.

"Please don't what, Cin?" Jack asked, cocking his head at her and looking stern.

Cindy sighed made a move for the door, but Jack grabbed her and hauled her over to a love seat by the wall, plopping her down on it, the dress rustling around her legs.

"What's going on?" he asked, putting his amber colored drink down next to the love seat and looking at her. "You've been off all night."

"I haven't been off..."

"Like hell," Jack said, laughing. "Since you climbed out of the limo you've been silent as a mouse."

"Not to mention I haven't even talked to you or Laura or anyone since we walked into the hotel," Cindy shot at him bitterly. "Jack, I don't belong in there, and frankly I shouldn't have come."

"That's what you think?" Jack asked. "You belong in there just as much as I do. Just tell me what's up."

"Well," Cindy took a deep breath looked away. "I ran into David Hernon, and his date..."

Jack interrupted with laughter and Cindy glared at him. "Please, Cin, don't go into David Hernon. He isn't anything to even think about."

"Well, he made me think," Cindy frowned. "I just probably should have stayed home. New Year's Eve isn't for me."

"You really like getting down on yourself," Jack said, picking up his glass and taking a long sip from it.

"I do not," Cindy argued. "How many girls stress out over stuff like this? I'm just another girl, Jack."

"Not in my book," Jack snorted, taking another drink.

"Oh, shut up," Cindy frowned, looking at the sweating glass in her hands.

"Is this boiling down to the fact that you don't have a date and won't have anyone to kiss when the ball drops?" Jack asked, getting straight to the point.

"I applaud you," Cindy said, clapping her hands sarcastically. "You've just found out that I, Cindy McLean, am a normal girl."

"Shut up, Cin," Jack said, shaking his head. "If it comes to making you happy for the night I'll do the honors."

At that Cindy immediately felt a hot blush rising up in her cheeks.

"You will not," Cindy said. "Please don't humor me."

Jack shrugged and stood up, holding out his hand. "Come on, Cin."

Cindy regarded him for a moment, all dressed up and looking as handsome and polished as ever. Finally she sighed, and took his hand, letting him drag her back into the party. Like radar, he found Lucas and Laura, tossing Cindy out to the dance floor to join Ryan for one of the soft symphonies littered with the sounds of flutes and violins.

The rest of the night moved smoothly, Cindy taking turns around the dance floor with Lucas, Ryan, and Jack. She finally felt her nerves being soothed as the clock ticked down to midnight, letting Jack guide her around the dance floor with her red dress comfortably pressed against his legs.

Cindy ducked her head and laughed at one of Jack's jokes, turning up her chin to see the large clock behind them clicking down to midnight and Audrey ready to cut in. Dutifully, Cindy moved out of the way and let Audrey take her place, waving to Jack and walking past them, scooting by Ryan and Laura, Lucas and Carol.

Finally the symphony stopped playing and the crowd began counting down, everyone's eyes on the clock. Cindy watched the clock also, never taking her eyes away from it as the new year dawned, everyone cheering and kissing partners and friends.

Cindy clapped with everyone else, still watching the clock as the crowds began to sing Auld Lang Syne a little off key.

Everything was beautiful as sparklers were passed around, Cindy finding herself with two in her possession, the light metal sticks fizzing and dropping sparks around her dress as the ballroom lit up with the twinkling fireworks and the puffs of smoke they created.

Cindy waved the sparklers as Laura as her roommate walked off the dance floor with Ryan, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Happy New Year, Cin," Laura grinned, hugging her and avoiding the fizzling sparklers.

Cindy laughed, and kissed Laura back, shaking the sparklers until they died down and extinguished, still warm to the touch.

"Here we go," Lucas called, brining up several flutes of champagne, handing them around. "What will we drink to?"

Cindy took her glass and laughed. "To Bosta starting in a maiden soon," she joked, grinning over at Jack, who lifted his glass to her.

"I second that one," Jack said, wrapping his arm around Audrey and giving her a kiss on the forehead. Audrey lifted her glass up, nodding. "As do I," she agreed, looking around at the group of friends.

"And to Red Army's road to the Derby," Ryan said, lifting his glass, Laura looking at him mischievously.

"And to Titus," she grinned. "Just because we can't leave him out."

Lucas laughed and shook his head. "All right, all right," he said, raising his glass. "To Bosta, Red Army, and Laura's Titus because we can't leave him out."

"Here, here!" Cindy laughed, clinking glasses with everyone else and tipping her flute back, swallowing a healthy amount of champagne.

The night whirled on until everyone was dead tired, wandering out into the chilled air outside the hotel. Cindy huddled in her stylish coat, feeling a little light headed due to all the champagne she had drunk through the night.

As the limo wound around the hotel and pulled up next to the sidewalk through all the insanity of New Year's Eve in New York, it began to snow, and Cindy looked up at the sky, blinking her eyes as the large flakes hit her eyelashes, clinging to them.

Oddly the night was clear, and Cindy could see the brightest stars perfectly through the smog and the bright New York light. Over the years Cindy had never bothered to make wishes or resolutions, knowing she always strove for the impossible. But this time, secretly, she made a small promise to herself.

This year she would ride in her first races as a professional jockey, and she would do it without Whitebrook.

The bright stars twinkled, and Cindy jumped when she felt Laura brush next to her, motioning toward the open limo door. Laura smiled at her, and Cindy smiled back lightly before collecting her dress and climbing into the limo, quiet in the dim light.


	16. Making Progress

16.

Making Progress

The thick blanket of ice crunched and broke under Cindy's boots as she made her way toward the first training barn of Owl Hollow. It was the middle of January, and Cindy's breath could be seen in the still air as she shivered, feeling the cold seep into her pants and thick coat. Thankfully she reached the door and threw it open, revealing the horses within.

Without checking out the other horses in training, Cindy made her way to her destination and stopped before the stall containing the dark bay filly, who pricked her ears at her visitor.

"Are you ready?" Cindy asked, reaching up and running her hand over Bosta's white-marked nose.

Bosta shoved into Cindy's hand energetically, and she rubbed the filly's forehead, giving her a kiss on the muzzle only to get hit in the face.

"Hey," Cindy laughed, pushing at Bosta's head. The filly grunted back and disappeared into her stall as Jack approached with the filly's tack in hand.

"Looks good," Jack remarked, watching the filly closely.

"You think she's ready for this?" Cindy asked, glancing from the filly to Jack, who nodded.

"She's as ready as she'll ever be," he frowned. "If we wait too long she won't get back to Belmont before Lucas wants to race her in March."

Cindy nodded and unlatched the door, leading the filly out of the well-maintained stall and into the concrete aisle. Bosta shook her head and tugged on Cindy's arm, dancing out her hindquarters until Jack stopped them with a firm hand.

"Heading to the track?" Miles asked from the office, which was situated right across the way from Bosta's stall. Everyone had thought it best to keep Bosta where an eye could always be on her.

"Uh-huh," Jack grunted, stopping the filly and holding her as Cindy brushed the filly off, pulling bits of bedding out of her mane and tail.

"Good luck," Miles chuckled, shaking his head and going back to his computer.

Cindy glanced over at the stall and rose an eyebrow at Jack, who only shook his head and kept Bosta from moving out. Cindy frowned and went back to grooming, rubbing over the filly's back and hindquarters until the dust was worked out of her dark coat, making it gleam in the dark light.

They had been working with Bosta for weeks straight, coming to Owl Hollow each day and working with the filly for hours, making sure she got each lesson they taught her. So far Cindy had gotten used to flying off the filly's back whenever Bosta got tired of training and decided she had had enough. One thing Cindy had learned about Bosta was that the filly was never going to calm down. She was bred high strung, and she would remain high strung. They were lucky enough to get her on the track at Owl Hollow without the filly trampling down another horse.

"You got it?" Jack asked as Cindy tossed the light saddle onto the filly's back and began to tighten the white padded girth, finding the right notch and securing the straps.

"Yeah," Cindy muttered, moving with the filly as Bosta tossed her head and danced to the side, rolling her eyes. Jack stopped the filly from dancing Cindy right into the stall door, wheeling her around in the aisle, the filly's hooves clacking quickly over the concrete.

"You sure about this?" Cindy asked, glancing out at the open door of the barn. She could see the tip of the first turn in the training oval, watching the other horses in training galloping over it. They had taken Bosta out to the oval, and trained her over it through the first freezing weeks of January, meeting the hard dirt more than she would have liked. This time they were going to do a work on the track, and Cindy, through all her experience with horses, admitted she was nervous about the outcome.

"Sure," Jack said, giving Cindy a smile and patting Bosta's muscular chest, before turning to the office and calling to Miles: "Wish us good luck, Bryer?"

Miles looked up from his paperwork and let out a deep laugh. "Hell, Jack, I'll go watch the fireworks. They've been spectacular lately."

Jack laughed and turned to Cindy. "See?" he grinned. "Now we've got an audience."

"We've always got an audience," Cindy muttered as she followed Jack out of the barn, the tall filly dancing between then with her ears pricked and her nostrils flaring, spilling cool steam from her lungs.

They got down to the training oval, and Cindy could feel the eyes of everyone on them. Mile was walking down the path behind them, bundled in his expensive coat and hat, pausing as Jack tossed Cindy up into the saddle, Bosta shifting her weight and trembling underneath her.

"Okay," Jack said, keeping a firm hand on Bosta's bridle as he looked up at Cindy, who was settling herself and getting a good grip on the reins, making sure her helmet strap was secure around her chin. "The plan?"

"Work her two miles," Cindy repeated, checking the stirrups. The last time up on Bosta a stirrup strap had broken, sending Cindy careening off the filly's side and to the frozen ground, landing on her back with all the wind knocked out of her. In the back of her mind Cindy knew that was a freak occurrence, but there was no way she was going to let that happen to her again, so now she checked and double checked the stirrups, this time finding them perfect against her weight.

Bosta squealed in frustration at being held, and Jack let her go, watching Cindy bound out onto the track on Bosta's back, the filly collecting herself magnificently to stride forward.

"Okay," Cindy murmured, finding herself saying the word over and over again. Bosta flicked her ears back to listen to Cindy, and moved out, setting herself into a canter as they rounded into the backstretch.

Already Cindy could feel the pressure the filly was applying on her arms, and Cindy tightened her grip, letting the filly out a notch but keeping Bosta reined in, refusing to let her throw her head up to gain rein.

"Okay, okay," Cindy murmured again, feeling the filly blow forward into a gallop at the slack Cindy allowed her, rising up in the saddle to signal to the filly that there would be no mindless running. Bosta grunted and strained, bouncing forward down the middle of the track as other horses moved to her outside, her heavy hooves pounding against the dirt.

Cindy winced at the strain on her arm, feeling her shoulder already beginning to protest under the pressure as they entered the next mile, the filly going a little faster into the first turn as she caught sight of another filly working on the inside rail.

"No," Cindy growled, leaning back as Bosta tried to jerk her head up, meeting resistance. Frustrated, the filly squealed and let out a buck, kicking up her heels and bouncing Cindy in the saddle. They were already passing the filly on the inside, and Bosta seemed to grow content as soon as they moved out of the backstretch, leaving the other horse in their wake. Cindy still had a tight grip on the reins, knowing better than to give Bosta her complete trust with any slack. She had learned several times over that horses like Bosta would never stop trying to get the better of their riders.

As they worked out of the far turn and into the homestretch, Cindy couldn't help but feel better, allowing the filly a tiny morsel of slack and feeling her jolt forward, lifting her head to length her stride. Another thing Cindy had learned other than how to fall off of the filly was that Bosta was a star gazer, throwing her head up as she ran like a wild thing out of the mountains.

Bosta roared down the track, digging into the dirt and plowing away with the rein Cindy allowed her, working her legs as if she had unlimited energy.

Cindy watched the rail slide by, realizing the gap was coming up and wondering what Bosta would do when she asked for her to slow. Tentatively, she applied pressure to the reins, feeling Bosta draw in her nose and shorten her stride suddenly, breaking out of a gallop and into a rocking cross between a dance and a canter.

Cindy threw a grin over at Jack and Miles as she further pulled up Bosta, feeling the filly tentatively respond to her signals until she pulled up a little further from the gap, letting Cindy wheel her around and head back for Jack.

"What the hell was that?" Jack asked as Cindy approached on Bosta, his face revealing complete confusion. "I was expecting a little more resistance."

"Hey, you weren't riding her," Cindy joked, pulling the filly up with more strength than she usually used, feeling the filly come to a trembling halt to allow Cindy to leap off her back, grinning like an idiot. She turned to the filly and gave her a good rub on the shoulder, praising her excessively while Jack and Miles looked on.

"Well," Mile said, glancing over at Jack. "Maybe you should graduate her to the training gate."

"Maybe," Jack said, watching Bosta crane her head up and sidestep around Cindy, snorting hard. "Just another obstacle to jump over."

"What fun would it be without obstacles?" Cindy said, leading the proud filly off the track.

"I'm not sure," Jack shook his head. "But I'm fairly certain it would be a hell of a lot easier."

Cindy only grinned at him and picked up the pace with Bosta, trotting back to the barn with the filly hot on her heels.

Later that month Cindy was curled up on the sofa in her apartment, picking at her sweater as she waited for the Santa Catalina Stakes to start on television. It was one of her few days off, and after riding Bosta in more successful works and more unsuccessful works, Cindy's aching muscles needed the day more than she did. Experimentally Cindy rolled her shoulder, feeling the joint creaking.

"Is it about to start?" Laura asked from her room as CNBC cut from commercial to the sweeping California track at Santa Anita, the vision of palm trees and bright blue sky making Cindy yearn for warmer weather. It was dismal outside in Brooklyn, the streets lined with slush and the sky gray and dreary.

"It's starting," Cindy said, sitting up and waiting to see the newest competition for Red Army in the road to the Kentucky Derby. There were plenty of west coast horses hoping to head to the Derby this year, and with the east coming up as less of a threat the last few years the Santa Catalina was a race to search for a favorite.

"Who do you like?" Laura asked, trotting out of her room in slippers, jeans, and a worn turtle neck, her hair in a messy ponytail on top of her head.

"I haven't really paid much attention," Cindy shrugged. "I don't even know the starters."

Laura laughed and plopped down on the sofa next to Cindy, giving her a wayside glance. "Cin, I think you've been working with Bosta too much."

"I know," Cindy laughed, leaning her head back and pushing stray pieces of hair behind her ears. "But she's really coming along now. We actually had her running with a group of fillies yesterday, and she really put her mind to it this time."

"Who knows what she'll do on the Belmont track, though," Laura pointed out. "She can't be ready to go before the stewards again."

"No," Cindy shook her head, watching as the list of horses and their morning line odds came up on the television screen. "She definitely isn't. Jack wants to do it in February sometime, but I don't think either of us are sure about it."

Laura gave Cindy a knowing look before she pointed to the television, a beautiful chestnut gracing the screen. "There's Vizier," she said, nodding to the horse's image. "He's Sheik al-Rihani's newest Derby contender."

"What?" Cindy asked, nearly breathless when she swung around to stare at the television, the pre-recorded segment on Vizier airing on the screen.

"Sheik Habib al-Rihani," Laura said, thinking she was clarifying things. "You know, the other famous Dubai Thoroughbred owner besides Godolphin?"

"Yeah, I know that," Cindy shook her head. "I used to work for him."

"Is there anyone you haven't worked for?" Laura asked, raising an eyebrow. "What track were you based at?"

"The al-Rihani's home training farm," Cindy said, frowning. "I think they're calling it Byerly Stables now."

"You worked in Dubai?" Laura asked, but Cindy wasn't paying attention now. As the segment on the explosive chestnut son of Summer Squall continued she saw the robes and plain head dress of the Sheik himself taking a look at his investment, and, she noticed with a lump rising in her throat, his son standing by his side.

"Oh my God," Cindy sighed to herself, soft enough that Laura had to ask her to repeat what she had said. Cindy only shook her head. Ben, the Sheik's only son, looked amazing in the harsh California sun. His black hair had been cut the last time she had seen him, and he looked professional and impressive as ever in his business suit that complemented his dark features.

But it wasn't just the image of Ben that was making her stomach turn over. It was the image of the beautiful blond by his side that was making her see a vibrant shade of red. It was probably nothing, she told herself, and even if it was it didn't matter her. All of a sudden her mind was in turmoil as she tried to come up with a reason to not care. They hadn't really had anything in the first place, she told herself as the broadcast went on. He had kissed her only twice, and those two moments were prior to her ill advised trip to Dubai. What had she been to him?

Cindy sat with a glare on her face through the entire broadcast, watching as Vizier took the lead easily and drove to the wire first. In the winner's circle Ben stood proudly next to his father, the blond smiling at his side as the reporters asked them questions. When the telecast was over Cindy was up and moving before she could even calm herself down.

"Cindy, what's wrong?" Laura kept on asking, and Cindy gave her confused answers as she rushed through the apartment, grabbing her boots and coat before she was out the door and heading down to the subway.

She sat in the rumbling cars mulling over Ben's presence in California, wondering how long he would be staying, and who the blond woman whom had pressed herself up against him at every opportunity was. By the time she had reached Belmont Park her thoughts were a mess and she found herself collapsed in front of Queenie's stall, looking up at the trusty older mare with a look of abandon on her face.

Queenie nickered to her and Cindy signed, reaching up to rub the bay's nose.

"You probably think I'm crazy," she said up to Queenie, just as she realized she hadn't cried a drop. It must be New York's influence, Cindy thought wryly when she heard the office door open, Lucas and William Lewis stepping out in a conversation.

At the sight of Cindy Lucas seemed floored.

"Cin, what are you doing here? I gave you the day off, remember?"

"Yeah," Cindy said, nodding to Lewis before he turned to go. "I remember. I just needed to get out for a while."

"You don't look too good," Lucas said, and Cindy laughed. Leave it to Lucas to notice her emotions.

Cindy shrugged and turned to Queenie, rubbing her head.

"Anything wrong?" Lucas asked as he walked up to her, patting Lager on the head as the gelding wandered up to his stall door to munch on his hay net, pulling at it vigorously.

"I'm just tired," Cindy shrugged. "Wanted a place to think."

"Mind if I ask what?"

Cindy shrugged. "No," Cindy said, giving him a look. "But it doesn't mean I'm going to tell you."

Lucas laughed and raised his hands. "That's fair, Cin."

"Good," Cindy nodded, finally being able to push Ben out of her mind. What did she care about Ben? She could blame him for wrecking her relationship with Max, for wrecking her career in Dubai, and for soiling her career in the States, but in reality she didn't blame him for those things. She just blamed him for not chasing after her. The rest she had to put on her own shoulders.

"I actually wanted to see you," Lucas said, giving Lager a final pat before the gelding moved away from his hand.

"Why?" Cindy asked, surprised that Lucas would need to see her.

"It's about Queenie," Lucas said. "You know I'm running her at the end of the month."

"Right," Cindy nodded, smiling at the bay mare. "George is going to have his hands full with her this time. She's been tight as a spring in her works."

"Well, that's what I wanted to tell you about," Lucas said, leaning against the mare's door, and unconsciously Cindy felt her heartbeat quicken.

"George fell in a race in Aqueduct."

"What?" Cindy asked, shocked. "He's okay, isn't he?"

"He'll be fine," Lucas said, calming her fears. "Came out of it with a mild concussion and a broken arm. But he'll be laid up for about six weeks."

"That's horrible," Cindy shook her head, knowing the feeling of falling and not being able to ride for so long. She had felt it several times, and each had been terrible.

"So since you've been riding Queenie every day and know her quirks I'd like to ask you to ride her."

There was a small silence when Cindy's hands stilled on the precious mare's nose, Queenie grunting at the lack of attention.

"What?" Cindy asked, shocked.

"I need a jockey for Queenie, and maybe for a few of my other allowance runners," Lucas said. "You'd be interested?"

Then Cindy seemed to shake herself out of her automatic shut down. "Of course!" Cindy shrieked, laughing.

"You mean that?" Lucas chuckled, shaking his head at her reaction. "Sometimes I wonder about you kids."

"No," Cindy shook her head. "I'm serious. I'd love to take George's place. Even if it's only temporary."

"Good," Lucas nodded. "Now I'm going to give you a ride home. I want to see you here bright and early when the weekend is over."

"You bet, Lucas," Cindy grinned before giving Queenie a kiss of victory.

Cindy stood in the paddock of Aqueduct, shivering out of control.

"You may want to calm down," Jack told her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Cindy jumped and he took his hand back, chuckling. "You okay?"

Cindy automatically shook her head and realized she should stop the rhythmic tapping of her lucky racing crop against her boots. She grasped the barely used crop in both hands and pressed her fists against her upper thighs, looking up at Jack suddenly.

"Yes. I'm fine."

"Sure," Jack rolled his eyes and watched as Queenie walked by, her plain bay appearance deceptive in the paddock. Queenie was going off as the second favorite, behind a flashy younger filly with less miles on her delicate legs. Queenie pranced by in all her petite and stocky brilliance. It was almost unfortunate a mare like her had gone uncelebrated her entire life. As Cindy watched her now she felt as if her owners should at least be here to cheer her on. She wore the blue and yellow silks, but somehow she felt odd to not have the proud faces of the owners to back her up. It had always been the opposite at Whitebrook.

Cindy fiddled with the blue and yellow silks, picking at the slippery material until Jack grabbed her wrists and stopped her, pulling her to face him.

"What?" Cindy asked irritably.

"You are a mess," he said, and Cindy pulled her wrists free.

"I'm fine," Cindy pointed out, going back to tapping her racing crop against her boots. "I've ridden in many races before this and there is nothing that I should have to worry about."

Jack looked over at her, and she shivered again. "I'm not nervous."

"Cin, it's okay to get nervous," Jack pointed out. "Hell, I'm nervous."

"You're not nervous," Cindy accused.

"Well, you're making me nervous with all you're fiddling."

"Shut up!" Cindy said, slapping his leg with her crop.

"Cin, if you do that again..."

"You're going to what?" Cindy threatened, finding a smile rising in her face, and he grinned at her.

"Nervous?"

"Shut up!" Cindy sighed again, turning around quickly and going back to tapping before Jack confiscated her racing crop until Queenie arrived in the stall.

"Can I have my crop back?" Cindy asked at riders up and Jack turned to glance at her, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't know," Jack said slowly. "You promise to just stick it in your boot or something and not drive us all crazy?"

"I promise," Cindy sighed, holding out her hand for the crop. Jack gave her the crop and tossed her up into the saddle, Cindy dutifully putting it away as she was led out of the stall, Queenie parading out into the paddock.

In her mind all she could think of was racing strategy as they pranced out onto the snow bordered track at Aqueduct, Queenie snorting at the sea gulls that flew over head. Queenie would lie low, Cindy kept telling herself. Then she would tell herself not to think about it, only to start thinking about it again, and that was when Cindy gave up. She wiped her mind clean and at that point she already found that they were warming up, wondering where her mind had been all this while.

In the gate Queenie was a perfectionist. Even as a wired chestnut, Wondering Angel, balked and threatened to refuse the gate, Queenie still stood like a rock in her stall, staring at the track with a frightening focus.

As Wondering Angel was brought into line, the rest of the five horse field moved into position, Black Magic wandering into her number three spot, with Crazy Daisy just behind her in the fourth stall. The last to load was the favorite, the speedy Shy Paradise.

Cindy looked through her goggles and the track and grabbed a clump of Queenie's mane before the gates flew open and the five mares were released onto the track, Queenie shooting out on the rail as Shy Paradise roared up on the outside to beat her to the front. Crazy Daisy and Wondering Angel pulled up on the outside of Cindy, and Black Magic fell back in last as they plowed past the grandstand and began to spread out, Shy Paradise eating up ground easily and throwing it back in Queenie's face.

The small bay mare snorted at the dirty impact but galloped at her own pace, Cindy remembering to stay still on the mare's back, knowing Queenie had her own plans and meant to go by them and them alone.

By the time they had hit the middle of the backstretch Cindy had her eyes on Shy Paradise, wondering when Black Magic, the third favorite, was going to put in a run. She could already hear Wondering Angel running off of Queenie's outside flank, but the bay mare didn't at all seem concerned. Her ears were back and she was running along easily, wrapping her body into the rail as they galloped into the far turn, beginning to move into the bridle.

"Okay," Cindy murmured, seeing Shy Paradise falter a bit on the lead. Crazy Daisy was already running up past Wondering Angel, her jockey urging her forward. Black Magic was coming on strong from behind them, and Cindy the decided to make her move.

She began to pump up and down Queenie's neck, and the little mare began to move half heartedly, running up on the heels of Shy Paradise to effectively block themselves in. Wondering Angel was moving slowly on the outside, cutting off a path as they blew into the homestretch, Queenie looking for a space to move through as the mare suddenly woke up.

Cindy was beginning to panic. Wondering Angel was already moving past, but Queenie kept checking herself as Shy Paradise lost ground, falling behind. There was a sliver of room on the rail, and some between horses, Cindy was thinking about the rail, but before she could make a decision she felt a jerk and discovered Queenie had taken off by herself, darting between horses and switching leads, plowing past Shy Paradise by herself.

The movement had left Cindy completely stunned, but she began to take up the slack in authority and pulled out the whip, showing it to Queenie to give her support. At the sight of the whip, Queenie dug in again, roaring up on the inside of Wondering Angel with Black Magic angling around and running on their inside, leaving Shy Paradise behind.

"Come on, Queenie!" Cindy yelled into Queenie's dark mane as the mare leapt forward, pushing past Wondering Angel as the wire slipped overhead, Queenie the winner by a nose.

Cindy stood in the stirrups, the rock hard Queenie blowing and slowing on her own after her rigorous match with the other mare. It seemed almost extraordinary as she turned the mare around and headed for the grandstand, seeing Jack leaning against the railing and smiling at her.

Then it sunk in. She had just run in her first real race without a Whitebrook horse. And she had done it victoriously on a horse she wouldn't have pictured could bring her such a reward. Cindy grinned all of a sudden and leaned over, wrapping one arm around the mare's dirty neck as Queenie carried them confidently back to the winner's circle.

"I'll always remember you, girl," Cindy grinned into the mare's mane, patting her affectionately on the neck. "Always."

Queenie let out a decisive snort and sprung into a prancing walk, carrying herself proudly as Cindy sat up in the saddle, feeling like she could finally push Whitebrook and all its comforts behind her.


	17. Forgotten

17.

Forgotten

Lucas' main barn at Belmont sat silently in the middle of the backside, its exterior lights still blazing through the early morning darkness. The track was on the verge of waking up. Tires crunching on gravel and distant whinnies from expectant horses marking the first minute of the day.

In Laura's Saturn, Cindy sat silently in the passenger seat, watching the sweeping track wake up as her roommate went through the gate, heading back to Lucas and Lewis' barns. Unconsciously, Cindy was shaking.

"Hey," Laura said, nudging Cindy as she parked outside barn 44. "You'll do fine," she assured Cindy, undoing her seat belt and pulling her long hair into a ponytail.

"I don't know," Cindy said, noticing Jack's Jaguar already parked outside the barn. The assistant trainer was already inside, probably getting the filly ready, but Cindy couldn't will herself to move. Her nerves were singing, and she was almost on the edge of giving in to nausea.

"Come on," Laura said, reaching into the backseat of her dirt and dust covered car to grab her things. "Like it's going to be that bad. You and Jack have been working non-stop on that horse. I'd be surprised if she didn't get put back into training after the test today."

"You don't know Bosta," Cindy said, beginning to chew her nails. "Just when you think you're getting somewhere she invents something new. It's almost like banging your head against a brick wall."

Laura grinned wryly and slapped Cindy's knee. "Then we know that Lucas got the right girl for the job, huh?"

Cindy smiled, looking over at her roommate. Not two days ago Lucas had signed on Cindy as a contract rider, and now she had agents turning their heads with three other rides on Lucas' horses. Cindy had been doing well since the end of February, but with the beginning of March there was Bosta to worry about. After completing two perfect breezes at Owl Hollow, Lucas had set up an appointment for the stewards to view her accomplishments. If she did well, she could come back to the track to train. If not, Cindy didn't want to think about what her owners would decide.

"You should have nothing to worry about," Laura said, opening the door and letting in the chilly early March air. "Now get out of the car."

Cindy sighed and opened her door, grabbing her things before slamming it and saying her goodbye's to Laura. The other young jockey had her newly dubbed Eclipse Award winner to work - Titus was heading to the Gotham in less than a week, where he would meet Red Army for the first time since the Breeders' Cup.

Laura waved and disappeared around the barn, while Cindy opened the barn door with a firm tug and walked inside to see Bosta standing in the aisle, her head craned up and peering at her with interest.

"Look who's bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning," Cindy said, cracking a joke to make herself feel better. The groom holding the filly smiled fleetingly and tugged on the filly's lead, making her take a step back while Jack examined her feet, pulling off the bandages that had been wrapped around her hind legs the night before.

"I don't know so much about bushy tailed," Jack responded with a slightly laugh, standing up and running his hands over her back and shoulders. "But I think bright eyed fits the bill."

"Morning, Jack," Cindy said, walking up to the filly and stopping, looking up at her. "She looks good."

"Yes, she does," Jack agreed, putting the used bandages down where Cindy dumped her things. "How are you feeling?"

"Nervous as hell," Cindy said, then shrugged. "But why not? I mean, it's not every day that one little test everything."

"You never had to take the SAT, did you?" Jack asked, and Cindy frowned at him.

"Shut up," she said, narrowing her eyes at him before grabbing her chaps and began to slip them over her legs.

"It looks like things are going to be pretty simple," Jack said, motioning to the perfectly groomed Bosta as he picked up the pad and saddle, throwing them onto the filly's back and beginning to work swiftly. "They want a five furlong breeze out of the gate. They want to see her not acting up. Preferably looking as if she's under control."

"Preferably not running off again and killing something?" Cindy asked, arching her eyebrow.

"Precisely," Jack nodded, giving Cindy a look over Bosta's back.

Cindy smiled and pulled off her sweatshirt to reveal the plain black tank underneath. She pulled on her flak jacket, a protective vest demanded by racing authorities, and then replaced the sweatshirt and her windbreaker.

Cindy watched Bosta as calmly as she could while Jack tacked her up, the filly eying Cindy as well. Since the moment the filly had been back to the track her old nickname had come back with her. The "Colt Killer" they all called her, as though she were a homicidal maniac up for parole. Cindy knew better. Bosta was indeed hyper active, but under Jack's firm training and the months of maturing, Bosta had grown up into a beautiful three-year-old. It was only now that Cindy suddenly realized how the filly had filled out and calmed. While she was still a spitfire with a personality more like a wolverine's than a horse, Bosta had grown in more ways than one.

"Okay," Jack said, finishing up with the bridle and nodding to the groom. "Lucas is already out there with the stewards. All we have to do is show up."

"Hey, Jack?" Cindy asked, fidgeting as she picked up her helmet and crop, frowning lightly. "Are you sure she's ready for this?"

"Cindy," Jack said slowly, giving her an unsteady look.

"No, I can ride her," she said, wondering what Jack was worried about. "I just don't know. I mean, what if she's not ready. What if she sees that track again and just goes nuts?"

Jack stared at her for a minute and motioned for the groom to go ahead and take the anxious filly down to the track.

"Cindy," Jack said, walking up to her and putting his hands on his shoulders, looking at her with frightening dark blue eyes. "We just spent a good part of four months working with her. If she's not ready, I don't know what she's going to do."

"You mean that?" Cindy asked. "Because..."

"Cin, you're thinking too much," he said, cutting in. "I advise you think of toaster ovens or something."

"What?" Cindy asked, giving him a confused look.

"Or where you want us to take you for your birthday," Jack suggested. "Anything other than Bosta. She knows what to do. And so you do. Okay?"

Cindy gave Jack one large confused stare, but he only smiled, gave her a brief hug, and walked out of the barn.

"Don't know what that was all about," Cindy muttered to herself, following after him. That was when she walked out of the barn and saw the large cluster of people gathered by the rail, all obviously interested in what the "Colt Killer" could do.

Wonderful, Cindy sighed to herself. Going from shaky to worse.

"Are you the rider?" one of the men gathered at the rail asked her, and she nodded. The response was laughter.

"Good luck getting that one to go."

"Maybe they should clear the track."

"Alright," a clear and authoritative voice cut through the crowd. "Let's get this thing going."

Cindy sighed happily to hear one of the steward's voices, and found her way up to Bosta quickly, letting Jack give her a leg up.

Already Cindy could tell the filly wasn't going to be on her best behavior. The crowds were making her jumpy, and soon there was a growing dark spot on her chest where she was beginning to sweat.

"Remember what we've been doing," Jack said, holding onto Cindy's leg as she gripped tightly to the reins. "Don't push her but always keep her moving. Keep her thinking."

"Okay," Cindy nodded, Jack letting go and watching as Cindy heeled Bosta out onto the track. The filly pranced exaggeratedly for a moment before spooking, her head shooting up and her body traveling awkwardly to the side.

"Whoa," Cindy murmured, keeping the filly going until they had reached a canter, Bosta beginning to work up a sweat even in the early morning cold. Cindy warmed her up in the turn, watching out of the corner of her eye the line of curious bystanders watching the filly along with their own horses, who were breezing on the far side of the track or working to the outside. Cindy could see the practice gate ahead and aimed the filly for it, feeling Bosta tense at the promise of speed.

"Okay," Cindy sat back, letting the filly drop to a trot and then a walk as they approached. The filly went held her head high, pausing to rear before Ryan got to her. Cindy sat through the bumps while she kept the filly moving, pushing her right into Ryan's hands.

"Everything fine?" Ryan asked, skittering along with the filly as Bosta suddenly decided to bounce and dance on her toes.

"Everything will be," Cindy said, trying to act confident. Bosta was a nervous coil of energy, and once she was in the gate, Cindy could feel it rising like a rip tide until the doors shot open and the crazy filly flew forward.

There was no need for encouragement. Bosta was running on exhilaration alone as she pounded her way over the dirt at Belmont, her dark body skimming along the rail with easy strides that ate up ground and kicked it up behind her feet.

Cindy sat quietly in the saddle, letting the filly do her thing while the bystanders were proven wrong. Bosta was sweeping down the track, completing the five furlongs and ravenously attempting another before Cindy stood up in the stirrups, hauling back. After a small battle into the first turn, the filly was down to a canter, and was shaking her head enthusiastically, turning back to the gap.

In sheer delight, the filly bucked back, kicking up her heels and making it a ride wilder than their breakneck trip around the oval. Cindy collected the filly sharply and snapped her out of her "Colt Killer" mode, halting her in trembling silence next to the gap.

The stewards were talking quietly among themselves, but Cindy could see Jack and his trademark smile and she grinned back

Cindy sighed and relaxed on the sofa, sprawled out with her golden hair matted underneath her head. The afternoon sun was hanging low on the horizon, sending in its harsh red light through the thick windows of the studio apartment to fall on Cindy's hair, turning it a fiery shade of orange.

"Can someone explain to me while it still isn't warming up yet?" Laura asked, walking out of her room in slippers and wrapped in a quilt. Her long brown hair was in a messy ponytail, and she looked miserable as she fell onto the couch by Cindy's legs, grumbling.

"I think your cold has you all out of sorts," Cindy pointed out, moving her legs to let Laura have some room. "It is getting warmer. Slowly but surely."

"I hate this weather," Laura sniffed, grabbing her tissues and folding her legs underneath her to stare at the television set, the screen showing images of Aqueduct, where Red Army would be running in the Gotham in less than an hour.

"It'll warm up," Jack said from the kitchen, finding a beer in the fridge before walking over to the armchair near the television and collapsing on it. "You've got to have some faith."

"Right," Laura said, her voice stuffy. "Maybe I'll just go sleep until April."

"If you think it would do you good," Cindy joked, turning the television up as the horses for the Gotham began to come into the paddock. Just then, a knock on the door jerked her attention from the screen.

"I'll get it," Cindy volunteered, shoving Laura back down in on the sofa and jogging to the door. When she opened it, she did a mental sigh and stepped out of the way as Audrey's smiling self walked in with beverages at hand.

"Did I miss anything?" she asked, putting down the paper sack on the counter for Cindy to deal with.

"Not yet," Jack reported. "The horses are just now coming into the paddock."

"Oh, good," Audrey smiled. "How does Daddy's horse look?"

Laura frowned for a split second and shot a look at Cindy from the sofa, mouthing the question: "Daddy's horse?"

To which Cindy shrugged, and mouthed back: "I have no clue."

"Looking good, Dre," Jack said, setting down his beer as Audrey planted herself on the arm of his chair, looking at the screen intently.

"He wanted me to go be the family representative for the race," Audrey was rattling on as Cindy walked back up to the sofa and made herself comfortable, handing Laura a mug of hot tea and getting a muffled thank you.

"But that meeting was just so pressing," Audrey sighed, still talking. "I can't believe Alex has slipped so much in the past few months. He used to be so good at his job, and now it looks like he's going to have to give it up. Mr. Delozier was not impressed, and hasn't been for half a year, so he says."

"Maybe it's better off that way," Jack said, shrugging. "Your brother was never good at managing that place."

"He was," Audrey said, her voice taking a defensive tone. "But now that I'm gone he just can't seem to get himself straightened out."

Cindy arched an eyebrow at the conversation, remembering Audrey's mixed up brother in charge of one of the various Mercedes dealerships in Los Angeles. She assumed things were going from bad to worse, but before she could ask anything Audrey pointed at the screen.

"Oh, there he is."

Everyone turned to the television. "Pinnacle," Audrey said proudly. "He's a Peaks and Valleys colt. Daddy found him at a sale in California and sent him out here to train."

Cindy's eyes gravitated to the dark bay colt Audrey was pointing at, arching an eyebrow. Pinnacle was a well-made racer and definitely had presence. She knew nothing of his racing record, if he had one, but by the looks of him she had to agree that Audrey had reason to be excited. Of course, when Red Army walked by Cindy had to erase all thoughts of Pinnacle. The bright chestnut was clearly the most accomplished in the race.

"It's too bad about Titus," Jack said over to Laura who nodded.

"Sprained tendons happen," Laura shrugged. "He'll be back for the Wood Memorial come April."

"Good thing," Cindy joked, nudging Laura. "He would have given Red Army a run for his money."

"No doubt," Laura grinned, sniffling and rubbing at her nose.

The race went off without a hitch; all nine horses erupting out of the starting gate straight and blowing past the grandstand for the first time. Red Army had broken in front and was leading the field into the turn, his competitors running hard behind him. Cindy watched without worry as the red colt streaked ahead of the field, running an easy three lengths ahead down the back stretch while the rest of the colts floundered to come up with a response. The second favorite, Realistic Reality, was running in fifth, trying to save ground but looking like he might only tire under the harsh pace Red Army was setting as they flew into the far turn.

It was Red Army alone coming into the home stretch, but all of a sudden Pinnacle was putting in his run, barreling out of tiring horses to fly up the rail. Red Army was running home alone with George barely pushing, Pinnacle raging as he tried to make up time and ground, but Red Army was already under the finish line. It had been an easy victory.

"Daddy will be happy," Audrey smiled, tapping Jack on the arm. "He did well, right?"

"For his first grade one, yes," Jack said, nodding. "Still room for improvement, though."

Audrey seemed content to watch Red Army being led into the winner's circle, where Lucas and Ryan were there to accept him with the Covaults. Cindy didn't listen to much of the commentary, busy talking with Jack about what he had planned for Bosta in order to get the filly read for her maiden next week. But when the cameras centered on Ryan, a thing rarely done, everyone seemed to silence.

"And how does it feel to have saddled your last runner for Lucas Simm?" A woman asked Ryan, grinning widely.

"Almost a little surreal," Ryan smiled sweetly. "I've had a great run here, and it's nice to go out with such a bang. Red Army is a great colt, and I almost can't wait to race against him, if I get the chance."

"Hopefully you will," the reporter smiled. "It might be a little hard since you've stated your heading to California to train."

"Principally Santa Anita," Ryan nodded. "I can't see any better way than to go back to your roots. Plus I've already got a few clients interested in shipping me horses if I head out there."

"I'm sure that helped settle your mind."

"Definitely," Ryan nodded.

"Well, good luck," the reporter offered, shaking his hand before turning back to the cameras.

Cindy was certain she was in shock, but she didn't dare say a word.

"Did he just say he's going to California to begin a head trainer job?" Audrey asked, clearly just as shocked as everyone else.

"That he did," Jack frowned, glancing over at Laura, who had an unreadable expression on her face.

"Jack," Cindy could hear Audrey say softly, "I think we should get going."

"Yeah," Jack said, giving Cindy a nod as he stood up and Cindy turned off the television.

"I think I'm going to go take a nap," Laura said suddenly, getting up and gathering her things, making a beeline for her room and slamming the door.

"Is she going to be alright?" Audrey asked as Cindy stood up, seeing them to the door.

"Well," Cindy started. "I'm not really sure what's going on yet," she said, shrugging. "I'll find out though."

Audrey nodded and left to summon the elevator, but Cindy grabbed Jack's arm before he could make it.

"Hey," she said, tugging. "Hold on," she requested, giving him a hard look.

"Okay," Jack sighed. "And here comes the Spanish Inquisition."

"Oh, give me a break," Cindy growled. "Did you know about this?"

Jack raised his eyebrows at her and sighed. "Cindy, of course I knew about this. She probably does, too. Give them some credit."

Cindy groaned and leaned her head against the door jam. "Okay," she sighed, rubbing her forehead in preparation for the inevitable. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Oh, brave little Cindy," Jack joked, throwing an arm around her shoulder and giving her a squeeze. "Don't let her get away without talking. She needs it."

"Oh, I'll get in there," Cindy said, glancing back at Laura's firmly shut door.

"Okay," Jack nodded, heading for the elevator. "Good luck, Cin."

It took Cindy ten minutes to get into Laura's room, but even then it was only because Laura had forgotten to lock her bathroom door. Cindy had simply snuck through the bathroom, appearing to Laura's room triumphantly.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Laura asked, sitting up on her bed, her face tear streaked.

"Through the bathroom," Cindy explained, motioning toward the open door. Laura only glared at it, and then transferred her stony gaze to Cindy.

"I don't want to talk right now, Cin," Laura growled, collapsing on her bed in a fit of coughing.

"Laura," Cindy sighed, walking over the hard wood floor and perching herself on the unmade bed, looking at her crumpled roommate. "Come on," she tried, pushing Laura's messy brown hair off of her face and grabbing a tissue, handing it to Laura to wipe at her runny nose.

"I shouldn't be all this surprised," Laura said, suddenly volunteering information after a few minutes of sniffling. "He's been talking about leaving Lucas soon. I just didn't think he'd...you know."

"Move across the country," Cindy supplied for her.

"Right," Laura squeezed her eyes shut, clearing her throat.

"Jack probably knew, didn't he?" Laura asked, and Cindy nodded.

"He knew."

"I hate him," Laura frowned, and Cindy laughed, folding her legs on the bed and turning to look at her roommate completely.

"Laura, it wasn't his place to do anything," Cindy said quietly.

"I know," Laura groaned, beginning to cry again. "But Ryan didn't even tell me. I mean, what the hell? I can't go to California. I just began here."

Cindy listened to Laura quietly; listening until Laura had cried and talked herself into a fitful sleep. Strangely she thought of herself and Max while she slowly slid off the bed, watching her roommate sleep diagonally over the bed. In a lot of ways she could compare herself to Ryan, gallivanting across the country to take on a job and leaving the most important thing behind while never knowing how important it was. No wonder they had been doomed from the start.

Before she could feel the wetness of tears Cindy turned on her heel and walked into her room, collapsing on her bed and watching Manhattan from her window.


	18. Deep Breaths

18.

Deep Breaths

The afternoon at Aqueduct was cool and gray, the clouds dark and threatening over the small racetrack that bordered the ocean. Cindy stood in the paddock of the track, listening to the rowdy calls of the sea gulls and the low murmur of the small crowd that had gathered on a less pleasant Wednesday afternoon to watch maidens and claimers race - the meat and potatoes of the sport. How strange it seemed now, Cindy thought, to be associated with such horses. At Whitebrook she would have never dreamed that she would be riding in these races. There she had always dreamed of trophies and champions, never realizing the reality of what a life of a jockey meant.

When the maiden fillies and mares of the fifth race of the day entered the paddock, Cindy abandoned her thoughts and focused on the bay filly that was led past her. Since riding Queenie Cindy had become something of a regular rider for Lucas' allowance string, and she had done fair enough with them to have another first and several other in the money finishes. They had all been veteran horses, however, and today was the first time Lucas was to put her up on an untried horse. An untried horse who happened to be none other than Bosta.

"Looking good," Lucas nodded as Cindy stood casually next to him, wearing the Covault silks and fighting back nerves. "I didn't think she'd take to the paddock so well."

"Well," Cindy remarked dryly, "Jack and I spent a long while getting her paddock trained. And with the fan club she seems to be generating there was enough distraction to get her used to race day."

Lucas smiled boyishly and nodded. "She has seemed to grow something of a reputation."

"Colt Killer?" Cindy asked with a raised eyebrow. "You know what everyone was saying yesterday about this race?"

"I heard a few rumors," Lucas shrugged as they both watched the filly prance exaggeratedly over the walkway, dancing out to wheel her hindquarters around and kick out at another filly who got too close.

"They were saying she'd more likely go through the inside rail and race down the turf track than finish first," Cindy frowned, slightly amused by the jokes and yet taking them seriously enough to rather not listen to them.

"Pay no mind to them," Lucas said, stepping out of the way as the groom led the sweat dampened filly into the stall. The trainer began his work as Cindy watched the filly quietly from the sidelines, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms over her chest. Bosta stood solidly in the stall like Jack had taught her, casually tossing her head to test her groom while Lucas tightened the girth and sent her back out to show off to the betters.

"Where's Jack at anyway?" Lucas asked, getting Cindy's attention away from the dark filly as she nearly crab walked into the fence, spooked, and danced around her groom.

"He's helping Ryan pack," Cindy said softly, shrugging. "He wanted to be here, but with Ryan leaving..."

"Right," Lucas broken in, nodding. "How's Laura handling this? I'd been meaning to ask, but with Red Army prepping to the Derby things have been a little hectic."

Cindy paused, frowning. The truth was Laura wasn't doing well at all. Since the Gotham she had been arguing with Ryan non-stop about the move to California, refusing to go with him and at the same time mourning the fact that she wasn't. Everyone knew their relationship wasn't going to survive a move across a continent, and at this point Cindy didn't know who was kidding themself and who wasn't.

"Not well," Cindy said, not lying. "I think things will get better once Ryan goes. He's not helping anything by sticking around longer."

"Cindy," Lucas gave her a look and she sighed. "It's where he can be successful. If he thinks he'll be successful starting out in California, and my bet is he will be, then he should go to California."

"But the way he did it," Cindy shuddered, thinking of the announcement on the television. If she had done that to someone she would be feeling the self-hatred for months.

"Could have been thought out better," Lucas nodded, agreeing. "He's still young, and we all know Ryan has had a tendency to be a little self-centered."

Cindy sighed. "It's just too bad," she shrugged, watching as the paddock judge announced for riders to mount up.

"Okay," Lucas said, cutting off their conversation and motioning the groom to lead Bosta to the stall. He gave Cindy a leg up into the saddle and patted her boot.

"You know what to do," Lucas said confidently. "My only suggestion is to ride conservative. This is a group of maidens, and they can be pretty unpredictable."

Cindy nodded and settled herself as they set off to the track, Bosta bouncing and huffing as they went. As they burst out onto the track under the heavy gray clouds, Bosta threw up her head and stared up at the peopled stands, snorting anxiously as she immediately wheeled away from the pony she had been handed to.

"Whoa," Cindy crooned, sitting out the bumps as Bosta jerked around.

"I've heard about this filly," the outrider next to Cindy smiled as they rode out to the gate.

"Most people have," Cindy responded curtly, rising up in the stirrups as they cantered past the gate to begin warming up in the turn.

"Well, then my advise is to sit tight," the outrider laughed as Bosta let out a small series of bucks, jarring Cindy in the saddle and nearly making the pony spook beside her.

"Believe me," Cindy said with a twisted smile as she concentrated on the filly beneath her. "I've got plenty of rides logged on this filly, and plenty of falls."

"I don't doubt it," the outrider nodded as they turned around and began to head back to the gate , which was positioned in the chute off the backside. Bosta would be running in a seven furlong maiden for fillies aged three years old. Cindy looked over the small crowd of seven horses and picked out the favorite, a small bay by Wicked North who was due for a win.

"Wicked East," the outrider nodded to the bay. "She'll be a winner in the allowance circuit once she finds her stride."

"She'll have to find it in another race," Cindy said in a swell of confidence as she felt Bosta suddenly move forward with a sure beat to her step, bobbing her head up and down slightly as the first horses moved into the gate.

Bosta jaunted forward into the six slot, Cindy sitting tensely in the saddle while she pulled down her goggles and readied the mare for her first lifetime start. Bosta bumped against the metal gate and squealed, tossing her head so hard that the assistant starter lost his grip on the bridle. At that moment, the gates plunged open and Bosta was shooting out of them without encouragement.

Nevertheless, Cindy was rising up in the saddle, riding out the early bumps and shoving that it took to gain a position in the early section of the race as they raced down the backstretch, battling for room on the rail. Cindy headed Bosta away from the crush along the inside, and settled her in fourth, watching the chestnut hindquarters of a Roberto filly as they thundered down the backstretch.

Bosta was running in a settled stride, letting Cindy be the commander as they began to merge into the far turn, the group of fillies becoming more bunched and crowded as they turned for home. Cindy lowered herself into the saddle, already feeling Bosta's excited nerves beginning to hum as the filly's breaths came in faster rasps, her ears flying back to listen for her cue.

Angling the filly through a small hole between the leaders, Cindy pushed hard and Bosta responded, roaring up through fillies to quickly gain the lead. Cindy glanced back quickly to survey the field and saw the favored Wicked East going wide around horses. Swinging back around with the whip, Cindy showed it to Bosta twice and felt the filly automatically switch leads, barreling down the rail while Wicked East ran into her lead like she was slicing through the air.

Before Cindy knew what was happening she could hear Wicked East drawing up next to her, the smaller light bay looking like a wisp of air next to the more muscular Bosta. The two ran in sync for only a few seconds while both jockeys worked hard to get one to move past. A head bob would determine the fate of the race if one filly couldn't break away.

Then Cindy felt a bump and glanced to her right, seeing the laboring little bay filly drifting in toward Bosta, their hindquarters brushing. Cindy gritted her teeth through two more hard bumps before she yelled over to the other filly's jockey to cut it out.

Suddenly, Bosta decided she had had enough. In one solid plunge, she pushed ahead and whipped her ears back, turning her head to snap unsuccessfully at Wicked East's neck before they flew underneath the wire.

Immediately Cindy hauled back on the reins, pulling Bosta back as Wicked East flew past them after the finish. Bosta snorted and lowered her neck, allowing Cindy to slow the filly as they cooled down in the first turn.

"Maybe you should keep that one on a leash," the jockey of Wicked East called as he turned his filly. "You're lucky she missed."

"She's a work in progress," Cindy shrugged. "Maybe you should have kept your mount in line," she added with a menacing look before turning the filly around and following Wicked East back to the grandstand, where she spotted Lucas jogging down to the winner's circle. Cindy shook her head tiredly and ran her fingers through Bosta's dirty mane. A work in progress indeed.

"Cindy, do you have that eyeliner because I can't find it anywhere," Laura called from the bathroom while Cindy stared at herself in her full length mirror, lightly fingering a bruise on her upper arm that she had received after Bosta had tossed her into the rail the day before.

"Huh?" Cindy asked, frowning at the spreading dark purple spot. Since winning her debut race - albeit less gracefully than Cindy would have liked - Bosta was in major training for the upcoming races during Belmont's summer schedule. As her rider Cindy felt every bump and miscalculation. However, Bosta had improved greatly, but with her attempted savage during the last strides of her first race people were still attaching her to her former "Colt Killer" persona.

"The eye liner," Laura asked irritably, tapping her feet against the tile of the bathroom floor.

"I don't know," Cindy shrugged, picking up her pea coat and slipping it over her thin white blouse. "I don't wear it. It makes me look like a coke addict, remember?"

"Oh right," Laura sighed, opening a few drawers and scattering the contents on the counter. "It has to be in here somewhere."

"It's not all that important," Cindy said, pulling on her black shoes and looking at herself in the mirror. She didn't look too bad, she reasoned, picking the blond tufts of curls that Laura had done for her.

"You look great anyway," Cindy reassured her roommate as the buzzer went off again.

"You think?" Laura asked, frowning at herself. "Because, as low as this may seem, I want Ryan to really know what he's missing."

Cindy broke out into laughter as she hauled her black dress-clad roommate out of the bathroom and toward the door. "I think he knows what he's missing already."

"Well, it doesn't hurt to really press it," Laura quipped, grabbing her purse as they left the apartment and grabbed the waiting elevator, heading down to the parking garage below.

Already Cindy's birthday had been fairly eventful. That morning she had woken up to Laura handing her a beautifully wrapped box containing the purse Cindy had been eyeing at Bloomingdale's for weeks on end. The day had gotten better with Jack's gift - a autographed framed print of Bosta's finish in her first race done by one of the most accomplished photographers immersed in the sport. It had been shot just as Bosta had snaked her head out to bite at Wicked East. Jack had been particularly taken with Cindy's look of horror in the picture, and had decided she needed to see it every day for the rest of her life.

Now they were going out to a bar of Ryan's choosing, since this night was also his last in New York. The city was gleaming and fresh from a recent rain shower. However, the attitude in Jack's Jaguar was far from the feeling of the city.

"What do you think?" Laura whispered to Cindy in the backseat. Cindy glanced up at Ryan, who sat in the passenger seat, and shrugged.

"I don't know," Cindy whispered back.

"You have to tell me if you see any looks of discomfort or regret," Laura informed her quietly under the music playing from the car's CD player. Cindy gave Laura a look and mouthed at her to stop it. She honestly didn't know if going out all together was a good idea. Luckily Audrey had been called out to California, but already Cindy could see the car dividing into lines of alliances. She didn't like the prospects.

Jack parked the growling Jaguar and they all climbed out, heading up the street to The Lightbulb Club, a two story bar. Cindy proudly displayed her New York driver's license and entered the haze of the nightlife, pushing the wild blond curls out of her face as a brisk early spring breeze flew into the door after them.

"What are the ladies starting out with?" Ryan asked, getting orders as Cindy spotted a table amongst the growing crowd.

"Be creative," Cindy called out to him, plopping down at the table next to Jack and Laura, shrugging off her coat and resting her elbows on the table. As much as she hated to admit it, turning twenty-one felt just as special as everyone claimed.

Laura gave Cindy one of her patented looks that she had been sending her as of late when ever Ryan had been around, and Cindy groaned, finally reaching her breaking point.

"Would you stop being so paranoid?" Cindy asked, or more accurately demanded. She hated being caught up in their drama as much as she felt sorry for it even happening. There was only so much she could do, and unfortunately Cindy couldn't do much more. Either they would break up or they would stay together and Cindy was by no means going to help make that decision.

"Okay," Laura sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Cindy nudged her. "Just do what you need to do."

Laura groaned when she saw Ryan getting the drinks and got up, announcing she was going to the bathroom. In a whirlwind she was gone, leaving Cindy with Jack who had a very confused expression on his face.

"I don't think I can handle much more women-speak," Jack said, shaking his head. "Between the two of you it's been a little much lately."

"Hey," Cindy defended. "It's been too much even for me."

"And when that happens we know something is drastically wrong," Jack said sarcastically and Cindy grinned, sitting back in her seat.

"Okay, birthday girl," Ryan appeared out of nowhere, setting down the drinks. "These are on me, but be aware that I'm moving and can't pay for much."

"Trying to get out of it, huh?" Cindy laughed, taking the Tequila Sunrise he pushed in her direction with a raised eyebrow.

"You said to surprise you," Ryan laughed, and Cindy nodded.

"Definitely a surprise," she smiled after sipping at it. "Thanks."

The night traveled slower than Cindy thought it would. There was a beam of tension traveling between Ryan and Laura and it only seemed to get worse with the more they drank, throwing comments at each other before eventually working themselves into a full blown argument.

Cindy sat paralyzed while watching the two, barely feeling Jack forcefully stabbing her in the leg with his hand. All Cindy would stare at was the break up before her until Jack stood up, diverting her attention.

"Come with me, Cin," Jack said, grabbing her hand and her drink, pulling her out of her chair while Ryan and Laura went on hurling comments at each other.

"What?" Cindy asked, confused as he hauled her over to the bar and sat her down on the only empty stool, putting her drink in front of her.

"Sit and stay," Jack ordered, and Cindy threw him a hard glare.

"I'm not a dog, Jack. I need to get back over there in case she needs..."

"Cindy," Jack grabbed her wrist as she tried to jump off the stool, keeping her in place. "Just let them deal with it by themselves. Laura's fine."

"She won't be," Cindy frowned, staring back at the couple before turning to the bar.

"Well, deal with that when it comes," Jack said, ordering Cindy a shot and sitting it in front of her when it came.

"What's that?" Cindy asked him, arching an eyebrow.

"Lemon drop," the bartender supplied. "Happy birthday."

Cindy allowed a smile to crack over her face before she took the shot and promptly decided to let Laura be. It was her birthday after all, and nothing was going to make her forget that.

"You're kidding me!" Cindy was screeching an hour later, grinning wildly at the story Jack was telling of his days in high school.

"I'm not," Jack shook his head, laughing as he took a gulp of his beer at the bar.

"Wow," Cindy laughed, grabbing her drink and taking a healthy swallow. "That must have been something to see. At Henry Clay we never saw stuff like peacocks running up and down the hallways."

"Probably one of the best pranks in the history of the school," Jack shrugged of what Ryan had done during finals of their senior year. "What made it all the better was watching animal control trying to catch that thing. It was pretty vicious."

"I can't even imagine," Cindy laughed, getting cut off when she saw Ryan approaching them from the table, Laura no where to be seen.

"Hey guys," Ryan greeted slowly, shrugging into his coat. "I think I'm going to be heading out."

"But it's only eleven thirty," Cindy said, glancing at her watch. "What's up?"

"Well," Ryan shrugged. "I've just got to get some sleep for the flight tomorrow. I can take the subway home. It's no big deal, and Laura wants to stay longer."

"Where is Laura?" Cindy asked, glancing at the empty table being cleared of beer bottles.

"Bathroom," Ryan said simply.

Cindy shot Jack a glance and began to get up to head for the bathroom before Ryan caught her arm. "What?" Cindy asked irritably.

"Happy birthday, Cin," Ryan said, offering a smile.

"Yeah, thanks," Cindy nodded. "I'll see you at the airport tomorrow."

"Yeah," Ryan nodded as he said good bye to Jack and turned around quickly, heading out of the bar.

"Great," Cindy groaned, walking over to the empty table and falling down into a seat, looking at Jack who sat down opposite her. "That's just great."

"Calm down, Cin," Jack said, leaning back. "Just let things cool off before things get bad."

Before Cindy could say anything Laura was already walking back from the bathroom looking calm and collected, surprising Cindy.

"Hey," Laura smiled, not betraying any upset emotions.

"Hey," Jack and Cindy echoed, both looking at Laura as if they were expecting her to dissolve into a mess.

Laura only plopped down next to Cindy and stared at them both, almost looking a little too defiant before she said: "So who wants shots? I'm buying."

"What do you think?" Cindy asked from the backseat of the car as Jack drove through the still crowded streets of Brooklyn. The sayings of New York were normally true, and the City that Never Sleeps was one of the truest Cindy had ever come by. Jack was still stuck in a traffic jam that he had been stuck in twenty minutes ago, and the sirens of insistent ambulances behind them were not helping Cindy's nerves.

"About what?" Jack asked, forcing his way into another lane in an attempt to let the ambulance gain some ground.

"Coffee? Water? Aspirin? Bloody Mary mix?" Cindy asked, leaning back on the leather seat and looking down at Laura's head in her lap. Her roommate had passed out there nearly thirty minutes ago, drunk and smelling extremely foul. Cindy was having a time trying to keep Laura's body on the seat with Jack pulling forward and stopping so radically every few minutes.

"I think sleep will be her best medicine," Jack said from the front seat. "If you could get her up to take any of that stuff she'd probably puke again, and that's not something I really relish seeing."

Cindy smiled wryly from the backseat and pushed Laura's sticky hair out of her face, the lights of Brooklyn shining harshly on her pasty skin.

"We shouldn't have let her do what she did," Cindy sighed, remembering all the money spent on useless shots. Laura had gotten so drunk they had actually been asked to keep her under control. Of course, that had been before she passed out cold.

"Do you actually think we could have stopped her?" Jack rose an eyebrow and looked at Cindy in the rear view mirror. Cindy shrugged.

"I suppose not," Cindy sighed. "I just feel terrible for her. She's going to hate me tomorrow."

"No she won't," Jack said, again shoving his car across another lane as their parking garage came into view. With a squeal of tires they were across traffic and pulling into the parking garage faster than Cindy could blink, and she let out a silent sigh. Home at last.

"Help me get her to the elevator?" Cindy asked, opening the back door of the small car.

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "I'll do you one better," he added as she stepped out of the car and straightened out her clothes.

"What's that?" Cindy asked as she looked down at her sleeping roommate.

"I'll carry her up," Jack said and Cindy laughed.

"Oh my hero," she joked, helping Jack maneuver Laura out of the car.

"Don't kid," Jack demanded, pulling Laura up and scooping her into both arms. "It's harder than you think."

"Okay," Cindy smiled sweetly at him and closed the door to the Jaguar, leading the way to the elevator and punching the up button.

As they stood in the rising elevator, Laura woke up once, slurring out some fragment of a sentence that they both shushed. Cindy pushed open the creaking gates of the elevator once it stopped and held them open for Jack as he carried Laura down to their apartment door, waiting for Cindy to open it with her many keys. Once they were finally in the apartment, Jack laid Laura down on her bed and Cindy covered her up with a sheet and comforter after pulling off her shoes.

"You have some experience with this?" Jack joked as Cindy softly pulled the door closed and grinned.

"Not exactly," she chuckled, running her hands through her ironed curls and pulling off her shoes that had begun to hurt her feet. "I have a little brother that I used to put to sleep sometimes," she shrugged. "But other than that I'm not really experienced at making sure drunk people are safely put to bed."

"Well, you do it like a pro," Jack chuckled as Cindy walked into her room and dumped her shoes by her bed, pulling off her jacket before beginning to fiddle with the clasp of her necklace, which she couldn't quite grasp.

"Here," Jack said from behind her, grabbing the small silver strand and pushing away her blond curls. "I've been good at this since I was about three."

Cindy couldn't laugh as he pulled back the silver necklace and easily unclasped it, letting it fall into his other hand that had cupped in front of her collar bone. He lifted it in front of her face and Cindy hesitated to take it. She was too busy fighting back the warm flush that had risen into her powdered cheeks.

"Thanks," she said after a moment, clearing her throat and snatching the silver necklace from him quickly, letting it coil on her night stand like a shining snake.

"No problem," he shrugged, looking out at her porch and the thick glass doors that could open out onto them. Cindy had done up the porch since moving in, putting a small table on the brick and adding two metal chairs. She had also bought several pots of spring flowers, the plants flourishing in the early warmth of the year. It looked inviting under the full moon and the street lamps, and Cindy found herself opening the latch to the door and walking out into the air faster than she could think. Instantly she cooled her flush, but she didn't think it was going to be a long term cure.

Cindy leaned against the brick railing and closed her eyes against the cool March breeze that fingered through her curls. She could feel Jack next to her, but she wasn't about to ask why he was there. The breeze felt too good.

"Sorry about the birthday," Jack said after a moment, and Cindy opened her eyes to look at him.

"Sorry about the birthday?" Cindy asked, raising an eyebrow. "I had a lot of fun. What's to be sorry about?"

"Laura, Ryan, the drunk roommate puking in the middle of a bar," Jack started to tick points off on his fingers. "And what fun did you have again?"

Cindy laughed and shook her head, turning to sit on one of the chairs and tipping her head back so she could see the clear sky.

"I had fun, Jack," she assured him. "It's not every day that stuff like that happens."

"True," Jack nodded, sitting down next to her and propping his feet against the brick wall that was already thick with growing ivy.

"Too bad Audrey missed it," Cindy said, not even thinking.

The silence on the other end of the conversation made her do a double take.

"Jack?" she asked, looking over at him.

"Yeah?"

"What's up?" Cindy asked, carefully moving around the situation.

"Not much," Jack said, and Cindy clearly wasn't satisfied.

"Right," Cindy rolled her eyes. "And Audrey's in California for a reason, right?"

"Oh, she's there for a reason," Jack assured, leaning back in the chair. "Her brother massively screwed up in LA. Her company wants her to take over out there, as well as her family."

"You're kidding," Cindy breathed, looking at Jack now instead of the stars.

"Nope," Jack said, shrugging. "The kicker is that she wants me to go back out there with her."

"She's going to take the job back in LA?" Cindy asked, completely thrown for a loop. "And she wants you to go with her?"

"More or less," Jack said, sighing loudly and running his fingers through his hair.

"You want to go?" Cindy asked, jumping in with both feet first. At this point she was tired of skirting around the issues.

Jack looked over at her and laughed. "Here's the thing," he said, getting up and walking up to the brick railing, jumping up to sit on it precariously. Cindy could feel her heart leap at the thought of him plummeting six stories to the pavement below, but he didn't at all seem concerned. So Cindy swallowed at stared at him quietly.

"I go out there and what do I have?" Jack asked, not waiting for Cindy to answer. "I've got her, and I've got my family. Plus, Ryan will be out there but honestly that's not much to add to the pro list."

"What do you have here?" Cindy asked him, curling her feet up underneath her and staring up at him. She didn't know why but suddenly her heart was going crazy in her rib cage.

"A job," Jack laughed harshly. "Lucas, Belmont, great training prospects, you..."

"Me?" Cindy asked, nearly feeling her heart flying out of her body and landing at her feet. She stared at him in confusion.

"Yeah, you," he said, shrugging. "In case you hadn't noticed, you're a good friend of mine. Handy to keep around in times of crisis."

"Cute," Cindy rolled her eyes, standing up and walking over to him, stopping near his legs.

She looked at him hard and finally, after a moment of silence, she asked: "Kidding aside, Jack. Why do you want to stay?"

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair again, showing more frustration than Cindy had seen from him in months.

"I don't think I'm entirely sure," he said. "This is new and I'm confused and I shouldn't be bothering you with it."

"You're not bothering me," Cindy said, shaking her head.

"Uh-huh," Jack looked down.

"Jack," Cindy said slowly, nudging his knee carefully. "Friend here," she waved her hand. "Tell me."

He smiled and shook his head. "I don't think I should tell you," he played difficult.

"Oh fine," Cindy rolled her eyes. "You just wait. I can get you drunk and within minutes I could have the truth out of you," she threatened jokingly, waving her finger in front of his face.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed her wrist, stopping her movement but not pulling his hand away. All of a sudden Cindy could feel that warm flush rushing back and this time the cool breeze was having no effect at all on making it go away. Her brain was numbering off all the reasons she should be pulling her hand away from his grasp, but her body was sitting there stubbornly refusing to listen as her eyes took in only his eyes and the way he suddenly looked away, letting her hand go.

"First of all, Cin," he smiled at her, politely ignoring the redness in her cheeks. "It would take more than a few minutes to get me that drunk, and second of all I'd be pretty damned pissed at you after I woke up."

"Because I made you tell your secret?" Cindy kidded, trying to skip over the obvious as well as he was.

"Yeah," he said, jumping off the brick wall and looking down at the traffic after checking his watch.

"It's getting late," Cindy said, cutting the joking out of her voice. "You should probably get going."

"Maybe I should wait for the traffic to die down," Jack said, nodding out to the street. "There must have been a wreck further up the street or something. It's jammed."

Cindy looked down at the road and nodded. "How's a couch for you?" she asked him. "I've got extra blankets in my closet, and you can take my other pillow."

"Yeah?" Jack asked, looking over at her.

"Yeah," Cindy said softly. "It would practically take you an hour to get back to Manhattan anyway. Take the couch."

"I think I'll accept," Jack said, following Cindy off the balcony. Cindy grabbed her pillow and tossed it to him as she stopped at her closet, pulling down two blankets.

"It's not a hide-a-way," Cindy found herself apologizing as she tossed the two blankets on the large sofa in the middle of the apartment.

"I'll be fine," Jack said, pulling off his coat and tossing it on the armchair. "Thanks."

"No problem," Cindy said, crossing her arms and backing up, giving him privacy. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow or something."

"Yeah," he nodded. "And don't worry about what I told you. It's nothing."

"Sure," Cindy laughed, suddenly feeling awkward. "I remember nothing."

He smiled and told her good night. Cindy replied in kind before nearly sprinting back for her room and closing the door quickly, smacking her forehead against the cool wood.

"Holy shit," she sighed, wiping away the fictional pictures she had started to create of the two of them on the balcony - wiping away everything she was beginning to think he might have told her.

"Holy, holy shit," she muttered as she changed into pajamas and climbed into bed, staring at her tall ceiling in astonishment. She laid awake through most of the night, wondering in the back of her head through the haze of fatigue and insomnia if he was awake staring at the same ceiling.


	19. Colt Killer

19.

"Colt Killer"

April dawned with the rain, waking Cindy up with a sudden crash of thunder that rolled over the dark clouds atop New York. Cindy groaned into her pillow and stared out at her water streaked windows, wondering how long it had been raining. She checked her clock and turned off the alarm before it could start, realizing groggily that she had just woken up early on her Saturday off.

At some point during the night she had fallen into a fitful sleep, waking up periodically to let her mind settle on the nameless thing that seemed to only be growing between her and Jack. Each time she had dismissed it, settling on the reality of knowing that nothing would ever happen. That was the definite solution to the problem, Cindy kept telling herself. Make yourself believe that nothing is happening, and nothing will happen. But even Cindy knew it was foolish.

The rain was pattering lightly against the brick of her balcony, slapping happily against the thick window panes of her bedroom. Cindy began to get up, but then realized that there was Jack in the other room on the sofa and she sat back down on the bed, running her hands through her hair and squeezing her eyes tightly.

If she remembered correctly, he was saying he wasn't leaving New York with Audrey because of her. And if that was correct Cindy's mind was one big mess. Of course, he hadn't told her exactly what the case was, but Cindy didn't need the words to come straight out of his mouth. What she wanted clarity on was the details, and she knew she wasn't going to get those soon if ever.

Groaning, Cindy fell back on the bed, wanting to go back to sleep until Jack left but she felt too anxious. Instead she got up quickly and darted for the shower, standing in the warm spray until her mind was wiped clean.

She dressed slowly, pulling on jeans and a red striped sweater. She left her hair wet, fingering through it as she walked out of the room, pausing when she saw a sock encased foot propped up on the arm of the sofa.

She paused only a beat before she continued, walking quickly into the kitchen and starting the coffee maker, making as little noise as she could. It was only when she came back from getting the morning New York Times that she looked up to check on Jack, his sprawled out form on the sofa making her smile.

The sofa was almost too short for him, but it didn't seem to stop Jack from looking comfortable. The two blankets she had given him were twisted around his bare torso and wrinkled jeans that he still had on from the night before. It was almost enlightening to see him sleep, Cindy decided. It was the only time she could look at him without the hair raising feeling that he was staring back at her even without looking.

She poured herself a cup of coffee and wandered over to the sofa, curling up on the armchair next to it and opening the paper, flipping straight to the sports section that greeted her with the headline: "Lady Duo Takes Cup!"

Immediately Cindy smiled. So they had done it. Her father had called her days ago from Dubai, telling her they were all safe from the trip and that Lady was working beautifully even in the strange environment under the massive lights that turned night to day. Cindy had no doubts that the filly would be up for the challenge, and as she looked over the giant picture of Wonder's Lady and Ann raised in her saddle, hand up in victory, she could only be happy for her family. Pushing away all feelings of jealousy, regret, and loneliness.

She sat in the chair, listening to the rain fall against the roof of the building as she read, trying not to steal curious glances at Jack while he slept. Still she picked up the little details. His shirt was tossed carelessly on the top of the coffee table, while his shoes were lying askew next to the sofa. She refused to take in details of his body since that would only make her situation more embarrassing, and, she convinced herself, if she didn't look he wasn't there. That is, until he woke up.

"Hey," she heard him and jumped, her heart beat suddenly soaring.

She glanced over at him through the dim morning light in the apartment and offered him a smile.

"Morning," she said, watching him sit up and look around, running a hand through his messy hair.

"What time is it?" he asked, pushing the blankets off of him to a heap on one side of the sofa. Cindy shrugged.

"About nine or so," she said.

"Huh," he nodded, standing up and grabbing his shirt, pulling it over his head in one swift motion. Cindy looked away.

"Laura still asleep?" he asked, finishing with the shirt and going with the shoes, working so quickly Cindy could have mistaken his energy to get ready as something akin to the nervousness of a morning after. At least he was still here when she woke up, Cindy thought wryly, then stopped her brain from any further thinking.

"She's out," Cindy reported. "Probably will be for a while still."

"What's the news?" Jack asked, nodding toward the paper, where Cindy had turned it to the continued story on Lady.

"Wonder's Lady won the Dubai World Cup," Cindy said, looking down at the page.

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "Somehow I knew she had that one in the bag."

Cindy only nodded, feeling the awkwardness growing faster than she would have liked. It almost outraged her. Nothing had happened. Nothing at all. But then again that was a lie, and she knew it just as well as he did. The words were there, lying just below the surface. He wasn't going to say them, and she wasn't going to force them out. But they were there all the same.

"Well, Ryan's plane leaves in two hours," Jack said, picking up his jacket. "I promised to give him a lift to the airport. He wanted Laura to come, but..."

"That isn't going to happen," Cindy said, tossing the heavy paper down to the hardwood floor and standing up, meeting him. "Probably not even if she was sober and not passed out cold."

"Yeah, okay," he said. "I'll see you at the track, then."

"Absolutely," she said, walking with him to the door with her hands in her pockets, letting him open it.

"Thanks for the sofa," he said halfway through the door, and she nodded.

"No problem," Cindy shrugged. "Tell Ryan I'll miss him, okay?"

"Yeah," Jack nodded, coming to his quota for monosyllabic answers. Cindy almost wanted to reach forward and shake him out of it. The lack of eye contact was suffocating, so she picked up her own eyes and stared straight at him, willing him to look at her.

Finally he did, standing in the doorway as if confused as to which way he was going.

"Cindy," he said, and she raised an eyebrow.

"I'm here," she smiled brightly, and he let out a small chuckle.

"Let's just let last night go, okay?" Jack said after a second, and Cindy wanted to ask what the hell he meant by that.

"We're friends, Jack," Cindy said instead, crossing her arms. "There's nothing to even let go."

Jack looked at her for a moment and then nodded slowly. "Alright then," he said, and Cindy suddenly felt as if she had said the wrong thing.

"I'll be heading out to the airport," he said, turning.

Cindy nodded and watched him go.

The days were passing rapidly, always moving faster than the last through the spring preps and the first legs of the Triple Crown. The whole country was immersed in the young three-year-olds who were running steadily east, about to converge on a track that was just waking up from slumber. Belmont was busier after the beginning of May, plunging neck deep into races. Horses were being shipped back in, filling the silent backside with raving activity that left Cindy breathless.

Already she had been riding in more races since the first of May than she had in her life, and in more than just allowances. Luna's Secret had recuperated and took Cindy on a wild ride through the Beaugay Handicap at Aqueduct, finishing a fighting second that seemed to show more promise than she had ever presented before. Star Bank was also back from California as an improved older horse heading toward the big turf races at Belmont. Cindy was slated to be his rider.

But as Cindy stood in the paddock of Belmont awaiting the fillies and mares for the Shuvee, she almost wanted back the quiet stillness of the grandstands. She stood as the only quiet thing in the middle of the organized chaos that swept around her. She found it almost funny how she had been jumping out of her skin to find something to do in the off months at Belmont. Now she had something to do, and she was yearning for the lazy pace she had grown so accustomed to.

Jack, however, was a man with a bounce to his step.

"What's the sour look for?" he asked her as he walked into Bosta's stall, nudging Cindy's shoulder.

"There's no sour look," Cindy countered, shaking her head. "I'm just a little nervous, is all."

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "Big day."

It was an understatement. Red Army was running in the Preakness later that day, and would be running for the second leg of the Triple Crown. After a poor performance in the Wood Memorial, giving up a lead to Titus at the end, Red Army had swooped back to sweep the rug out from under seventeen other horses in the Kentucky Derby, winning by three lengths. Today he was expected to do it again, and at much better odds.

Cindy and Jack, however, were not at Pimlico watching the Preakness unfold. There were instead at Belmont, watching Bosta dance her way into the saddling paddock for the Shuvee Handicap, her first graded states attempt since blowing out an allowance field and finally showing her champion bloodlines. There had been some rippling in the press about Bosta once she had flown away from her allowance competition. She was a foal of Mr. Prospector's last crop, and with a nick name like the "Colt Killer" she was bound to get attention. Cindy had found herself in the Daily Racing Form only days ago and the filly's odds were astronomically good. If anything it was just a way for Bosta to make a spectacle of herself, since the race was being shown on the undercard on ESPN.

Cindy watched Bosta prance around the enclosure, her groom holding her back from plunging around. She pounded her way into her stall only once for Jack to struggle with her, putting on her saddle and making sure everything was secure before she bounded away again, showing off her nick name and her bloodlines all at once.

As the filly wound around the enclosure with the other six fillies and mares in the race, Cindy only had eyes for her, ignoring Jack, who had his hands in the pockets of his suit and seemed to be staring at the same object. It seemed that they only talked to kid with each other since Cindy's birthday. Jack always had a wisecrack for her, and Cindy was always quick to respond. In that way they communicated, and had been doing it for so long now that it almost seemed normal. It almost felt to Cindy as if they were stepping around something. It was almost if they engaged in real conversation they would start talking about what they couldn't tell each other, and that would be the end of things.

So banter it was, and when Bosta stopped for Cindy to mount up Jack told her to go out and kick ass. Cindy, bitting her lip as Bosta greeted her weight with a bounce and a half rear, told him to wait for them in the winner's circle.

With that they were out on the track, Bosta parading in front of her home track. Cindy sat easily in the saddle, no long shaken by Bosta's ploys to get her out of the saddle. She rode through the filly's attempts and set her straight, warming her up down the far turn.

The other fillies in the race were hard boiled contenders, jumping into the summer races with the Shuvee, a grade two race of eight furlongs on dirt. Bosta had never gone a mile, but now she would. There was no question that she could handle the distance, but there was question on Cindy's part if she could handle the competition. Bosta, who liked to boss everyone around, didn't seem to be having a problem and bounded toward the gate eagerly as the other fillies walked forward professionally, cocking an ear at the young upstart in their ranks.

They moved into line. Beautiful Stars, Red Surprise, Strawberry Room, and then Bosta. On the right were Lady's Emblem, Personal Hope, Completely Amused, and Vespa. Cindy rocked on the filly's back as Bosta slammed twice into the metal gate, snorting and flicking her ears before the doors opened and the assistant let go of her bridle.

Just like that they were all lunging out of the gate, Bosta flicking her tail easily as she went along with the leaders, weathering the bumps and shoves from fillies jockeying for position as they swept underneath the wire for the first time.

Cindy settled Bosta on the rail, having shifted across three fillies to obtain it. The dark filly was raring to go, and Cindy found herself checking her hard before Bosta floored it to the front, trying to go after Vespa who was skipping along on the lead.

The group of fillies galloped into the turn and into the backstretch, Bosta still running on the rail next to Personal Hope and Beautiful Stars as they raced down the backstretch. Bosta held her own against the leaders, running unchanged into the far turn. Cindy held tight on the filly while she began to hear jockeys calling out to their mounts, the fillies beginning to look alive as they gathered momentum for their stretch run. When she saw Personal Hope's move, she got Bosta in hand, pulling out the crop as soon as they poured into the homestretch.

Horses were moving up out of nowhere, and Cindy tugged on Bosta's reins, keeping her plastered to the rail as they switched strides and suddenly began to move feverishly to the front. Vespa was tumbling back into the pack as Personal Hope gained the lead, Beautiful Stars and Completely Amused hot on her heels. Cindy urged Bosta into the small hole between the rail and Vespa as the tired leader continued to fall back. Bosta burst through the small gap and plunged, chasing after the leaders with all her tireless legs could muster.

"That's it!" Cindy screamed, finally feeling the filly click and begin to work at cutting into the lead. This time Bosta wasn't playing, and she was roaring up the rail, already overtaking Completely Amused and challenging Personal Hope and Beautiful Stars as the two older fillies locked into a speed duel to the end.

Bosta was cruising on the inside, moving faster than any horse in the race as she flew up on the flanks of the other horses, baring her teeth in a threat before she pinned back her ears and continued on, flying down to the finish.

Before Cindy knew it, Bosta had shoved herself up to be part of a blanket finish, the three fillies noses apart at the wire.

The bay filly didn't let up after the wire, and kept striding forward until she had overtaken the older fillies. Then she allowed herself to recognize Cindy's presence on her back and she slowed, lowering her head and cutting her speed, grunting victoriously.

Cindy slowed the filly down to a trot and then to a walk, patting Bosta's neck enthusiastically even without knowing who won. As far as she was concerned, Bosta had transformed herself. As they walked back to the grandstand, all Cindy could feel was victory.

Later that day Cindy sat in Lucas' office, watching replays of Red Army's devastating move in the Preakness. He had blown Titus away, finishing three and a half lengths in front and creating a spree of press. Already the phone was ringing off the hook, and she could still hear Jack talking with another reporter from yet another publication.

Red Army was headed back to Belmont, and with him he would bring a tidal wave of attention.

When she heard the phone click back into is cradle, she looked back at Jack. "Who was it this time?"

"Someone asking about Bosta, actually," he said, tossing a pad of paper onto Lucas' desk and frowning.

"Bosta?" Cindy asked, raising an eyebrow. The filly had been beaten two noses in the Shuvee, coming in third in her first graded attempt. It was a good show, especially since once they had gotten her back to the backside she had taken a hunk out of another groom's shoulder. It was only a large bruise this time, and all credited it to the adrenaline rush of the race, but it only still cemented her reputation.

"They wanted to know if we're going to run her in the Triple Tiara," Jack sighed, walking around and sitting down next to Cindy. "Against Res Mira."

Cindy almost choked on her water.

"Against Res Mira?" Cindy asked, nearly laughing.

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "Whitebrook announced today that they're heading Res Mira to the Acorn Stakes. She's already won several races out west and the Kentucky Oaks, plus a second place finish in the Black Eyed Susan. No other way to go, really."

Cindy shrugged, her mind rushing around so much information. The Triple Tiara was a race series studded with memories for her. It was, after all, the series she had raced Joy through before her death on the track just outside Lucas' office. You didn't forget scenes like that. On top of that, the knowledge that Whitebrook was coming back to Belmont stalled her. Would Ashleigh come? No, Cindy dismissed it. She wasn't going to think about it. If Ashleigh came or not it wasn't for her to be concerned about. She had a different life, and wouldn't forget that.

Just then the phone rang again and Jack got up to get it. Cindy frowned at the television and turned it off, getting up to wander out into the aisle, looking in on the horses. She stroked Lager's nose and gave Star Bank and Luna's Secret kisses on the forehead. When she got to Bosta's stall the filly greeted her with a rough search for treats before disregarding her and focusing on her hay net, ripping out a clump and chewing heartily.

"Did you even run a race?" Cindy smiled up at the filly, patting her strong neck and leaning against the wall.

She watched Bosta in silence, wondering what it would be like to ride her in a grade one race. She wondered if she could go up against Res Mira. She wondered if they both could.

Silently she played with the filly, scratching her nose lightly and pulling back her fingers before Bosta could sink her teeth into them. The dark filly flattened her ears and stamped a foot in frustration as Cindy laughed, stroking the filly's neck again calmly.

She left Bosta to her hay net, wiping her mind clean of all her questions and musings. When she got back to the office she stopped in the doorway and watched Jack for a moment. He was standing behind the desk with his hands flat on the messy surface, looking down at something she couldn't see. She suddenly wished they had been more clear that night. She wished she knew what would happen.

He looked up and she could see his eyes across the dimly lit room. He cracked a small smile at her and she asked what was up.

"We're heading Bosta to the Acorn."


	20. Coming to a Point I

20.

Coming to a Point

I

Cindy sat outside barn 41, the late spring breeze stirring her hair so that pieces of stray blond whipped around her face, clinging to her eyelashes. Irritably, Cindy brushed the strands away, frowning out at the track that was on the brink of running its last race. The sky was blue and the weather was warm, but Cindy was too worried to think about the signs of good fortune around her.

"You realize she isn't anywhere near ready for a grade one race against horses like Res Mira," Cindy said to Jack, who sat next to her, his dress shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows of his suntanned arms and the buttons around the collar loose. Compared to Cindy he was the picture of ease, even in the discomfort of his race day clothes. In fact, he was busy eating an ice cream sandwich, and Cindy only stared at him as he didn't answer.

"Jack?" she asked, watching him take another bite. "Where the hell did you get that?"

"Lucas has a fridge," Jack shrugged. "He probably wouldn't miss it."

Cindy sighed and went back to fidgeting, bouncing her leg until Jack forcefully stopped her with his right hand.

"Stop, Cin," he said calmly, only making her reaction stronger.

"Stop?" Cindy asked incredulously. "Lucas wants to point Bosta to the Acorn Stakes, Jack! The Acorn!"

She got up and looked at him as if she expected him to say something. Jack sighed and looked up at her.

"Okay, Cindy," he said, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his knees, looking at her. "What do you want me to say? Yes, I think she's not ready for the Acorn now. Yes, there's not much I can do to talk Lucas out of it. The Covaults want it, and as far as Lucas is concerned Bosta is ready. She did come very close to winning the Shuvee, and her form looks good. I had wanted to wait and enter her in another grade two before taking on higher stakes, but hell. This was the path she was going to be on anyway, so why not June instead of July?"

Cindy watched him go back to his ice cream sandwich, finishing it off in a few more bites before she threw her hands up in surrender and plopped back down on the bench next to him.

Bosta was going to run in the Acorn Stakes, taking on the best three-year-old fillies on the east coast. Cindy let the thought roll around in her head, and she sighed silently. As much as she doubted Bosta she had to admit that she was probably ready to run against the best competition. It was just the likes of Res Mira and Keptie, the winner of the Black Eyed Susan, which had her worried. On top of all the other fillies heading for the Triple Tiara.

Most of all she was worried about herself. She had never ridden in a grade one race without Whitebrook being her solid backer. Secretly she wondered if she could handle the pressure of running in a race like the Acorn with Whitebrook switching sides on her. On race day she could see herself freaking out and costing Bosta everything.

She looked over at Jack and he lifted his eyes to her. Finally, with a deadpan expression on her face, she asked him how the ice cream was.

"Refreshing," he said, grinning. "Steal one from Lucas' fridge. It might calm you down."

"Maybe," Cindy replied, letting herself smile. Although she was sure that when Whitebrook rumbled into Belmont with Res Mira in tow she would be anything other than calm.

When summer hit New York the humidity rose like a spike on the charts, turning the streets of Brooklyn into shimmering crosses of blacktop that sizzled when kids tampered with fire hydrants, creating a water park until the firefighters came to temporarily crash the party. Air conditioners turned on full blast and fans started to turn back and forth, endlessly droning as the sticky New York air slunk into the already stifled apartments.

Morning works at Belmont had transformed as well as the city. The first string was always fresh and crisp, but by the last string rider and horse were usually dirty, tired, and drenched in sweat.

"You certainly look like you're enjoying life," Laura commented with a laugh as Cindy walked into the public bathroom and dumped her things on the ground near the showers.

"Oh, you have no idea," Cindy sighed, pulling off her flak jacket and taking her hair out of its ponytail, feeling like her whole body was smeared in dirt and sweat. As she felt a trickle of perspiration dart down her forehead she shivered. It was almost enough to make her scream.

"What happened to you?" Laura asked, brushing out her wet hair after having just taken a shower.

"Bosta, in a word," Cindy shrugged, noticing that she was indeed covered in dirt. "She dumped me yet again and she is damn well lucky Jack caught her before she plowed straight through the inside rail."

"Wow," Laura gaped. "She's going to get kicked out again if she keeps this up."

Cindy only sighed and walked into the shower, stripping off her tank top and tossing her clothes out onto the floor. She stood underneath the warm spray of the cinder block shower until she felt better and then shut everything off, changed, and emerged a new woman on the same backside. She shoved her hair back into a damp ponytail and tromped back to Lucas' barns, scattering the three cats that had taken up residence outside barn 41 since May as she stepped around the security barrier and into the dimness of the stable.

She could see Jack and Lucas further down the aisle, talking in front of Red Army's stall. The red colt had come back a hero only a week ago, going back into training amid all the ruckus of the press pushing each other out of the way to see the colt. Every time Red Army took a step out of the barn the cameras were there, clicking away and flashing in the colt's eyes.

It was a pressure almost unbearable, and Cindy found herself growing irritable under the constant questions and phone calls. And she wasn't even in the center of the activity. Lucas and Jack were fielding most of the press, but with a Triple Crown on the line anyone was fair game.

Just as Jack lifted his head up and met eyes with Cindy her cell phone rang and she jumped, grabbing the obnoxious thing and whirling around to find a quiet place to talk. She skipped into Lucas' office and answered the cell, bringing it to her ear.

"Cindy?" It was her father, and she let out a sigh, falling onto one of Lucas' chairs.

"Yeah," she said. "Hi, dad."

"Hey, kiddo," Ian chuckled. "I was just calling to tell you that we're about to land at JFK. We'll be into Belmont within the hour if traffic isn't too bad."

"Okay," Cindy said, appearing bright and cheerful when really her stomach was dropping. "I'll be in barn 41 when you get here."

"We're stabled over in barn 17," Ian said. "But we'll meet up. How does that sound?"

"Great," Cindy nodded to herself. Just great.

"Okay. We'll get Mira all settled in and we'll go out to that restaurant you mentioned last week," Ian continued. Cindy nodded.

"That's great," she said. "You may want to pick up a rental at JFK, though. I'm not the person to talk to for rides."

"Already taken care of," Ian assured her. "We'll be there within the hour. See you, hun."

"Bye," Cindy smiled weakly into the phone and quickly cut off the connection. By now they were probably circling JFK waiting to land and Cindy would feel her stomach turning. She had promised her father that she would take them to dinner - reservations for four at the best place Brooklyn had to offer at eight o'clock - and what they were going to do between now and then was beyond her.

Cindy slid her cell back into its holder as Jack appeared in the doorway, looking down at her with a question in his features. She craned her head back and smiled slowly at him, trying to cover up her worry and knowing she wasn't doing well.

"The family?" Jack asked, and she sighed, nodding.

Jack walked into the office and leaned against the desk, looking at her casually.

"What are you doing today?" Cindy asked him, trying to ignore the stabbing concern she had for what she would have to go through every day until the dawn of the Acorn Stakes.

"Picking up Audrey from the airport," Jack said, and Cindy had to remind herself that Audrey no longer lived in Manhattan. She had left a month ago for Los Angeles, taking over her brother's role in one of the family's Mercedes dealerships and leaving Jack in New York. The whole thing was more than confusing for Cindy, who sat idly by watching and suspecting that somehow her name was coming up too often in their conversations. But she was kept out of it, and a part of her was grateful that Jack refused to mention anything to her. Sometimes, she was momentarily content to realize, being left uninformed was for the best. At least this way she could feign innocence.

"Oh," was the only thing she could think to say. "How long is she staying this time?"

"Just for a convention," Jack said, shrugging. "Then she's off again."

A part of her wanted to know just how long this would last, but then again she was pretty sure that they were failing.

"I see," Cindy nodded.

"When does Res Mira check in?" Jack asked, switching the subject.

"Within the hour," Cindy repeated her father's words.

"Damn," Jack smiled. "And here I was about to ask you to lunch."

"What?" Cindy asked, shocked enough to widen her eyes.

"Nothing," Jack chuckled. "I'm just hungry as hell."

"You want to go to the track kitchen?" Cindy asked, standing up. "I was just about to get something to eat."

Jack regarded her for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah, let's go kill some time."


	21. Coming to a Point II

20.

Coming to a Point

II

Cindy was standing outside of barn 17 when the plain white trailer rumbled through the gates of Belmont, kicking up dust to mingle with the heavy summer air. She could see her father behind the wheel of the cab and she waved slightly, biting her lip to keep her heart beat down. The trailer stopped with a plume of dust and the screeching of worn breaks, the engine dying in front of Cindy as the doors opened and three familiar yet changed people climbed down to the ground.

"Cindy!" Ann was the first to grin and greet her like a long lost sister. Cindy laughed and hugged Ann as the older jockey hugged her back fiercely. "Oh my gosh, look at you!"

"Look at you," Cindy shot back, grinning at Ann. They hadn't seen each other since Cindy's sudden decision to leave Whitebrook long ago, and since then they had both changed enough to be stunned by each other.

"This is so awesome, Cin," Ann laughed. "You have to show me everything. Faith came back to Whitebrook with stars in her eyes after coming back from New York last summer."

"Really?" Cindy asked with a grin. "I hope I gave her a good impression of New York life."

"Oh, I'm sure you did," came a decidedly different voice behind Ann, and Cindy moved slightly to see Ashleigh hopping out of the cab, her clothes slightly wrinkled from the long plane trip and her long brown hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. "She couldn't stop talking about it for weeks."

Cindy could barely hear Ashleigh, but she swallowed quickly and greeted her old mentor to her new home track. Ashleigh only smiled briefly and nodded, remarking on how long it had been since she had been back to Belmont. Cindy winced at the comment, feeling the small barb Ashleigh had intended to throw her way. The last time Ashleigh had been to Belmont was when Joy had died on the backstretch.

"Yeah," Cindy said slowly. "Not much has changed."

Ashleigh nodded and was quick to help Ian lower the heavy ramp of the trailer, leaving Cindy with Ann as the two younger women followed around the van to see the blood bay filly being backed down to the gravel parking lot.

"Stunning, isn't she?" Ann asked as Cindy got a full eyeful of Res Mira, who stood calmly behind the van with her ears pricked as she took in the surroundings.

"Stunning doesn't even describe it," Cindy responded, watching as the hot June sun glided over the filly's red back, making it glimmer the rich hues of auburn as a humid wind blew through the backside, ruffling the filly's pitch black mane.

"Whoa," she heard her father murmur as the filly suddenly bounced on her feet and turned at the noise of a rumbling truck leaving through the gates, her black legs kicking up tiny puffs of dust.

"There, girl," Ashleigh smiled, patting the filly's neck and turning her around to head for the barn, passing by Cindy.

"It's been a while since you've seen her, hasn't it?" Ashleigh asked in passing, and Cindy only set her mouth in a firm line, nodding her head in silence. She had anticipated coolness from Ashleigh, and she would bear the other woman's crisp words without breaking. Res Mira was something to look at and they all knew Cindy hadn't seen her in person since she was a yearling. Since then she had filled out perfectly and become a threatening presence on the track, just like her mother and siblings before her had been.

Cindy followed behind with Ann and her father, watching as Ashleigh slid Res Mira into her freshly made stall.

"We're looking forward to meeting Bosta," Ian said, giving Cindy a half hug as they stopped outside of the bay filly's stall. Ashleigh gave them a half-hearted glance and nodded.

"I did want to take a look at some of the competition today," she said, hanging Res Mira's halter next to her stall door. "I've been hearing quite a few stories about that filly you're riding. Quite a spitfire."

"Murderous is more like it," Cindy muttered, watching Res Mira check out her stall, circling in the large cubicle before taking an interest in her hay net.

"Well, I can't wait to see her," Ann said enthusiastically. "What barn is she in?"

"41," Cindy said. "I can take you over now, if you want. You'll have to brave the insane about of attention over there."

"I'd love to see her," Ann said quickly. "Just lead the way."

When Ashleigh Griffen entered barn 41 there was a ripple of excitement among the anxious photographers that had clustered around the entrance to get a glance at the red chestnut that would be running for the Triple Crown. Apparently a Hall of Fame jockey was just as good as a near Triple Crown prospect because Ashleigh had to battle her way into the barn.

Cindy led the way, quietly ignoring the press as she gave Red Army a pat on the nose on the way to Bosta's stall. The dark bay filly was standing in her stall, turning her head at the new visitors with interest.

"Here she is," Cindy said nervously, walking up to the big bay and running her hand over her face, pulling back her fingers before Bosta could nip at them.

Ann chuckled and looked up at the masculine filly, nodding her head approvingly. "Mr. Prospector sure had some nice runners," she said softly. "I hear a lot is expected of his last crop."

"Bosta has gotten a lot of that attention," Cindy nodded. "Although with a reputation like her's it's hard not to give her attention."

"Her right fore turns out a little," Ashleigh said, looking into the filly's stall. "I assume that doesn't affect her at all."

"She runs like a machine," Cindy said, letting her voice show how proud she truly was of the filly. She and Jack had done a superb job with her, and she couldn't help but boast about her in front of Ashleigh.

Ashleigh nodded and took at step back from the stall, looking up at Bosta's head and large eyes.

"She has a sweet eye," Ashleigh said, reaching up and rubbing the filly's muzzle. Cindy raised an eyebrow when Bosta allowed it, snorting softly into Ashleigh's hands. She almost felt a pang of jealousy as she watched the filly lower her head for Ashleigh, letting the older woman rub her nose - something Cindy couldn't do without expecting an attempted bite.

"Looks like we've got our work cut out for us," Ashleigh said, dropping her hands and looking back at Ian. "But we should probably go get settled in the big city."

"You coming, Cin?" Ann asked. "We've got the whole day to catch up before we set to work tomorrow. I'll bet you can show us all the great and underappreciated aspects of the city."

"Definitely," Cindy nodded, pushing back the uncertainty in her voice.

"Good," Ashleigh said over her shoulder as they passed through the security. "I expect to be dazzled."

She was having nightmares again. Each time Cindy would wake up in her bed soaked in sweat after seeing the horrible images of a smokey gray mare falling to her knees in the dirt at Belmont, struggling with a broken leg as she shoved herself to her feet, smeared with dirt and lather from the fear. The nightmares had stopped when she had claimed a new life in New York, but now that Cindy was seeing Ashleigh again all the memories of Joy were no longer left in the dust with her past.

With the Belmont Stakes having been run on a sticky day in June the press had rolled out of town permanently until the Breeders' Cup, which would be hosted at Belmont later in the year. Red Army was holed up in his stall, exhausted after a trying fourth place finish. The winner of the race, Titus, was equally worn down and Cindy expected to see them both taking it easy until the major races in late summer.

Without the smothering pressure of the Belmont Stakes breathing down their necks, the backside at the track was considerably lighter. However, Cindy felt none of the extra slack. If anything she could only feel more contained than ever knowing that each day she would arrive to see Res Mira warming up on the track with Ashleigh standing quietly by. Every day Ashleigh would turn her cool hazel eyes onto Cindy with a stretched smile and say hello, but the helpful mentor that Ashleigh had once been was long gone. Cindy no longer expected to find the old Ashleigh, so she didn't take the trouble to search for her. Both women seemed content to let things stay that way.

"We're going to go for a five furlong breeze out of the gate," Ian was saying one crisp morning before the humidity crashed down onto the track. "Let her run at her own pace, but don't push her. Remember that I still want to do a quick breeze before the race."

Ann was nodding next to Ian as Res Mira snorted and shifted her weight between them, pricking her ears at the sweeping track in front of her. Cindy stood nearby, watching one of Lucas' new two-year-olds breeze down the track under Micky, keeping tabs on what was said but otherwise leaving well enough alone.

"Actually," Ashleigh said, standing by the rail with a gleam in her eye. "I'd like to take her out this morning."

"You sure about that?" Ian asked as Cindy suddenly forgot about Lucas' two-year-old.

"Yeah," Ashleigh nodded. "I wanted to really feel how she's coming off of the Black Eyed Susan, and the surefire method is to ride her."

"Fine by me," Ann said, pulling off her helmet and handing it to Ashleigh, who had already strapped on her flak jacket over her tank top. Ian gave her a leg up into Res Mira's saddle and Cindy watched from the sidelines as the lithe bay filly strode confidently out onto the track.

Cindy stood without saying a word. Res Mira warmed up in the turn, loaded into the gate, and burst out into a breeze with Ashleigh working smoothly. Cindy ticked off the seconds in her head as the blood bay filly shattered each furlong, knowing she was going perfectly. Not too fast, not lagging, but speeding up gradually until she slipped past the last marker to end the clock in a time that couldn't be improved upon without blowing out the breeze.

Res Mira trotted by, but Cindy wasn't looking. She didn't want to see the satisfied smile on Ashleigh's face. There was no need to let Ashleigh see her own bitter admiration, since the older jockey already knew it was there. Instead Cindy locked her gaze on Lucas' barn, watching Bosta being led out of the dim interior. The big dark filly looked vibrant and ready to work, not giving a care about Ashleigh or Res Mira. Her ears pricked at the track and she hesitated slightly before tugging hard on the groom's arm and wheeling her hind quarters around, showing off her spunk.

Cindy smiled to herself. Bosta was every bit as capable as Res Mira, and she was just as good as Ashleigh. Hadn't she helped find Bosta's talent? Hadn't she been living successfully on her own? She didn't need Whitebrook, and this was the moment to show Ashleigh everything.

As Res Mira exited the track, Bosta stopped next to the gap, squealing at the presence of the unfamiliar filly. Res Mira snorted in response and arched her neck, stopping briefly as Ashleigh jumped off of the bay filly.

"Excellent, Ashleigh," Ian was telling her. "But I don't need to tell you that."

"Okay," Lucas said, giving Cindy a leg up onto Bosta, who was already moving forward toward the track. "Five furlongs from the gate. Keep her in line. We don't want a hard work right now, but we need to keep her sharp."

Cindy nodded curtly and turned the filly, heading out to the warming Belmont track. Bosta was tossing her head enthusiastically and Cindy was riding smoothly on the filly's back, lifting herself up so that she could hardly feel the rocking gait of the filly's canter.

"Whoa," Cindy murmured, holding her back while Bosta strained against her hold, gaping her mouth wide against the bit. The gate approached quickly and the filly was loaded into the metal chute, standing with little patience for the assistant to throw the lever and release her onto the stretch of dirt before her.

Cindy hunched over and leapt forward with the filly as the gate broke open and Bosta poured out her speed. The dark filly didn't need Cindy's urging to sprint up the rail. She was blowing past the white fence, passing it by like a blurred line until Cindy was lost in the filly's mane. Bosta craned her head up and struck out viciously at the ground while she continued to speed down the track, her black tail whipping behind her while she ran.

Cindy kept pushing, and Bosta kept running eagerly, thundering past the markers and splintering fractions as she flew. Then it suddenly occurred to Cindy that they were running far too fast. This wasn't what Lucas had asked her for, and as the last marker blew by Cindy found herself hauling back on the reins, pulling Bosta down to a slow gallop as she continued restrained into the next furlong, galloping out much slower than her time for the five furlongs.

Bosta snorted and plunged as Cindy hauled her into a canter, nearly getting pulled straight out of the saddle and onto the filly's neck. Cindy grabbed a hunk of coarse black mane to keep herself balanced and sat back in the saddle, turning the filly into a trot as they approached the gap. The look on Lucas' face was far from satisfied.

"Cindy!" Lucas called as she pulled Bosta up at the gap and jumped off, running her hand over the filly's sweat slicked neck. When she looked up she wanted to wince.

"Good Christ! Exactly what did I say again?" Lucas asked, motioning for her to bring Bosta off the track.

"That you didn't want a hard work," Cindy muttered, running up the stirrups before the groom could take the still spirited filly from her. Bosta was tugging playfully on the reins and snorting, dancing happily in place.

"Then what the hell was that?" Lucas asked, a little louder than he needed. Or maybe it was just Cindy's wounded pride.

"A fast work," Cindy sighed, pulling her hair out of its ponytail and running her fingers through it. "I'm so sorry, Lucas. I just couldn't rate her."

"Couldn't or didn't?" Lucas asked incredulously, before sighing and letting the hotwalker lead the steaming filly back up to the barns. "Never mind," he said, shaking his head. "We'll just cool her down and see how she came out of it. But you're done for the day."

"Lucas," Cindy tried, but he shook his head. "Just go cool out, Cin. I've got nothing else for you to ride."

Cindy frowned, feeling the biting onrush of tears before turning on her heel and heading up to the barns without glancing at the faces of her family. She walked stiffly past the stalls before tossing her helmet on the ground and collapsing next to it, putting her head in her hands. She didn't cry. She only mulled over what had just occurred, wondering what sort of irresponsible fool she looked like in front of her family now. Cindy snorted at the thought. Hadn't she always been the irresponsible one?

The sound of footsteps entering the barn stopped her from declaring herself hopeless and she looked up hesitantly, wishing it wasn't anyone she knew. She didn't get her wish.

"You look like the very definition of happiness, Cin," Jack said, standing in front of her in his classic beat up jeans and heather gray t-shirt. Cindy looked up at him, not finding the mischievous glint that she normally found in his eyes. In fact, he wasn't even smiling.

"Well, you look just deliriously wonderful yourself," Cindy quipped sarcastically, and he sighed, running both hands through his messy dark hair before sitting on the ground himself, leaning against the opposite wall, looking at her.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked, and she shrugged.

"So what happened?" he asked, the first to break the mutual silence.

"I worked Bosta too fast," Cindy said softly.

"That's it?" Jack asked.

"Well, I also got reprimanded and basically told to go to my room in front of Ashleigh Griffen, pioneer of women in racing and former mentor," Cindy sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "So, on top of nearly ruining Bosta's chances in the Acorn, I've got yet another wonderful tarnish spot on my colorful history with the aforementioned former mentor."

Jack looked at her silently and she shrugged again. "So what's with you?"

"Broke up with Audrey," he said simply, not offering any more detail.

Cindy didn't look shocked because she wasn't. Instead she just nodded and got up, crossing the aisle to sit down next to him. They both sat in silence for a minute, looking across the aisle blankly at the rows of stalls.

"Are you okay?" Cindy asked after a moment.

"Yeah," Jack said, looking over at her. "Things feel a little better, actually. A little clearer. You know what I mean?"

Cindy bit her lip and looked down, her blond hair falling in front of her face. She pushed it back quickly and shook her head. "No, actually. All my breakups were usually more complicated than clear."

"I can see that," Jack said, looking at her steadily now.

Cindy blushed lightly, feeling as though he was talking about something else. She looked over at him and got caught up in it, finding her words hard to say.

"Exactly what does that mean?" Cindy asked, wanting a definite answer this time and not finding one.

"You're a complicated girl," he said simply, and Cindy didn't believe it for a minute.

"Why did you break up with Audrey?" Cindy asked suddenly.

"Who said I broke up with her?" he asked, and Cindy gave him one of her patented looks that told him to cut the crap.

"Okay," he smiled. "I'm in New York. I'm not leaving New York. She's in Los Angeles and she's not leaving Los Angeles. Nothing like a couple thousand miles to do the breaking up for you."

"She didn't have to leave," Cindy pointed out.

"And I didn't have to stay," he countered. Then they both fell silent. There it was again, that subtle hint of why he was staying. Why tell her that he didn't have to stay? No, he didn't have to stay, Cindy wanted to say. But she at least wanted a clear answer.

"Jack..." Cindy started, her voice breaking under her uncertainty.

"So Bosta got a bullet work," he interrupted, breaking the silence and changing the subject.

Cindy gulped down her question, trying to switch gears as fast as he did.

"Unintentionally," Cindy said, wincing. More fuel to add to Ashleigh's fire. Maybe she was as irresponsible and self-centered as Ashleigh had claimed her to be years ago, when suddenly everything had become a free for all.

"She'll bounce back," he said reassuringly. "It's a little far to say you've ruined her chance in the Acorn."

"Maybe," Cindy replied stubbornly.

"She'll be fine," Jack shook his head, turning back to look at her. She didn't look back. She just sat there feeling his gaze travel down her face. The feeling of his hand turning her head to face him shocked her and she nearly jumped at the contact, making him smile. She darted her eyes up to him, staring at him uncertainly.

"Cin," he said just under his breath, and she just waited for him, having no clue what she was supposed to expect, yet already letting her brain sort through all the possibilities of words and sentences and then all she was really wondering was if he was going to kiss her because they were too close and all of a sudden she was going stiff at that one single thought.

"Things have gotten a little unexpected lately," he said, and Cindy tried to wrap her thoughts around the real words instead of the fictional ones in her head. She waited for him, still feeling the hand that was holding her face to look at him.

"And I wanted to say that having you as a friend is all important to me. More important than all of it," he said, and Cindy tried to understand that, but before she could really grasp enough of what he meant she felt his lips on her forehead and suddenly he was up and leaving her sitting alone in the aisle.

"Good God," Cindy groaned to herself before letting her head fall back into her hands.


	22. Coming to a Point III

20.

Coming to a Point

III

The days passed slowly and Bosta bounced back from her black letter work, putting in another sharp work out days before the race. For Cindy things were progressively going worse. She didn't like having the constant presence of Whitebrook, but she gritted her teeth and smiled when she had to, keeping her from scowling constantly, as Laura had been pointing out more and more. She was a ball of nervous energy, and paranoid that she was going to do something that Ashleigh in particular would raise an eyebrow at. Cindy found it ludicrous that she was even thinking such things. She had been doing fine for herself at Belmont, and just because Ashleigh was around didn't mean that she was suddenly incompetent. Nevertheless Cindy could feel herself radiating tension.

"Just calm down," Laura said in the cab as they traveled over the bridge into Manhattan the day before the race. "You look like you're about ready to throttle someone."

"I know," Cindy said, taking a deep breath. "I've just got to get through this night and tomorrow and that's it. They'll be gone soon after."

"If they don't decide to go on with the rest of the Triple Tiara," Laura realistically pointed out only to meet Cindy's scowl.

"Don't mention the rest of the Triple Tiara," Cindy said, shaking her head dismally. She didn't think she'd be able to survive a whole summer with Ashleigh.

"Okay, I won't mention it," Laura said. "But at least be happy tonight."

"Yeah," Cindy nodded. "I can do that."

The destination was Jerome's, a high class Italian restaurant in Little Italy. The occasion was celebrating Res Mira and Bosta's run in the Acorn Stakes. Ann had picked the place and had invited Laura herself, having become good friend's with Cindy's roommate since they had arrived in New York. Cindy had insisted Laura go, wondering if she was going to be able to take another dinner with the people she used to know so well.

When the cab dropped them off Ashleigh, Ian, and Ann were already inside the restaurant, sitting at a large round table. Cindy and Laura slid into chairs across from the three, offering explanations for why they were late. The truth was that Laura had gotten a call from Ryan and wound up degenerating into a long distance fire fight, but the old traffic excuse worked just as well.

They all wound up in an easy conversation, talking about the race and about how eager Ashleigh was to go home and see Christina. Cindy smiled at the memory of the little girl, realizing that there were a few precious things she missed about Whitebrook. Christina, Kevin, Glory, and her mother who would eternally be worried for her. Then there was her father, who sat across from her, grinning widely at one of Ann's fantastic stories. She didn't have words for how much she loved her father, especially through all of her tough transitions.

Eventually conversation veered toward the race, and already Cindy could feel Ashleigh's attention on her.

"Bosta did look sharp in her last work," Ian said, giving Cindy a smile. "You've worked her into a beautiful racer, Cin. You should be proud."

But before Cindy could respond, Ashleigh was shaking her head. "I'm most concerned about Keptie. She's been training smartly since she arrived, and she likes the sandy track even more than the one at Pimlico."

Cindy automatically frowned, finding herself arguing a point faster than she could blink. "But Bosta's home track is Belmont. She's got the edge there above all the other fillies in the race."

"Perhaps," Ashleigh said. "But she didn't look completely one hundred percent in her last work and she's commonly known as unpredictable."

Cindy sighed and put down her fork on her nearly empty plate. "How can you say that?" Cindy asked. "She's one hundred percent. I was riding her, for Christ's sake. And she may be unpredictable, but the last I checked two out of three isn't bad."

"Cindy," Ashleigh said pointedly. "I know what I saw. The filly looked reckless and unguided."

At that Cindy threw up her hands, resisting the urge to shout. She knew as well as everyone else that there was a double meaning behind Ashleigh's words, and even if no one else got it Cindy was past caring. She was breaking, and she knew it.

"That is such bull," Cindy hissed, trying not to make a scene. "If you ever once tried to look at something that I've helped make you would realize that I can handle..."

"Cindy," Ashleigh warned as a few people looked their way. "There was a time that I did do that with poor results. Excuse me if I'm having a hard time trying to do it again."

"Right," Cindy said sarcastically. "Why don't you put yourself in my position, Ash. There's not much more that I can do about something that happened years ago. If you want my apology I don't know how many more times I need to give it to you."

"I don't need to be in your position, Cindy," Ashleigh answered with clipped words. "What's done is done."

Cindy stared at Ashleigh unbelievably before she got up and made her way to the bathroom, not caring who stared at her or who was hot on her heels after her. By the time she shoved her way into the small bathroom she was surprised to find that she was so angry that she wasn't crying. She was only trembling.

"Cindy."

"Go away, Ann," Cindy ordered, which Ann didn't obey.

"Come back to the table, Cin," Ann said, slipping into the bathroom and walking up to Cindy. "It's no use hiding out back here."

"And yet hiding in New York has been so beneficial," Cindy replied sarcastically, and Ann sighed, bringing Cindy up to her in a hug.

"She doesn't mean what she says, you know," Ann said, holding Cindy as she shook with rage. "She's impressed with Bosta, and with you. For some reason she just can't say that to your face."

"I can't apologize to her anymore," Cindy muttered into Ann's shoulder, and Ann nodded.

"I know," she said. "We all know that. You don't have to apologize. You never did."

"I do," Cindy said forcefully. "I killed Joy."

"You didn't kill Joy," Ann said fiercely, pushing Cindy back to stare at her. "You don't think that, do you?"

"Ashleigh said it," Cindy said, shaking her head, feeling the tears coming now. "I didn't listen when she said I was going to kill Joy. I just kept pushing, thinking she needed to be pushed. But she didn't need to be pushed, Ann. I killed her."

"You didn't," Ann repeated, shaking her head.

Cindy smiled at her through her tears. Ann was always so supportive, and always would be. But in the back of her head Cindy knew that Ann was wrong. She had killed Joy. She hadn't listened, she had worked her too hard, and she had killed her. It was how it was, and she would remember it always.

She sniffled for a second and brushed at her face, feeling Ann let her go when Laura slid into the bathroom to ask if everything was okay.

"Ian's paying the bill," Laura said. "Is everything going to be alright in here?"

Ann only looked over at Cindy, who was running the water in the porcelain sink, watching the cool liquid pour onto her hands before she splashed a little on her face.

"I'm fine," Cindy said.

"Okay," Laura said, nodding toward the door. "Then we can slip out and catch a cab home. Are you sure you're okay?"

Cindy nodded, turned off the water, and left before anyone else could say anything.

On the cab ride home, Laura was silent and Cindy didn't spark a conversation. She only stared out the window, looking up at the strong cables of the Brooklyn Bridge as they crossed over the churning water that separated Manhattan from Brooklyn. She ran everything over in her head, remembering how happy she had been with Joy. The silvery filly had been everything Cindy had ever wanted. But Ashleigh had been right. She was at fault for the filly's death, and she knew that if she had batted down her pride for just a moment she would have listened to Ashleigh and Joy would still be alive. And she would still be at Whitebrook.

Cindy silently rolled down the window and let the hot summer air hit her in the face, breathing in the smells of New York as they crossed over to Brooklyn. She may secretly yearn to be back at Whitebrook, but that was an impossibility. New York was her home, and Bosta was her future. Silently she told herself that she would make sure Ashleigh knew that.

On race day the humidity was unbearable. The sky was covered in a thick blanket of ominous storm clouds that seemed to be trapping in the heat, threatening more of the warm rain that had fallen the night before. As Cindy stood next to Bosta's stall in the elegant Belmont saddling paddock, she picked at her silks, trying to find some ventilation as the slippery material stuck insistently to her clammy skin.

Overall, Cindy was miserable. Humidity and heat aside, Ashleigh wasn't speaking to her and Jack was making her furious. What made Cindy irate was that nothing was uncomfortable between them. They were just as good of friends as they were before, if not more so. But still Cindy could feel the underlying promise, and that feeling was so great that she wanted to either do something with it or crush it for its own good.

"So," Jack said, leaning against the other side of the stall as they both watched Bosta dance and shimmy around the paddock. "How's life, Cin?"

Cindy gave him a wayside glance that told him everything, and he nodded. "Well, at least it looks like rain."

She didn't answer as Lucas walked up from another stall, motioning for Bosta to be led inside so he could tack her up. The dark bay filly was led into the small enclosure and held as Lucas secured the pad and saddle before sending her out again. Cindy fiddled quietly, watching the other fillies walk steadily around the paddock.

Bosta was the most inexperienced there. Among her competitors were Keptie, the winner of the Black Eyed Susan. The long legged chestnut had been a serious competitor for Res Mira all year. Hell to Breakfast, a speedy brown filly, was coming off big wins in Florida. Five By Five was a shooting star as a two-year-old, coming in third to Res Mira in the Juvenile Filles last year. Daffodil was a Louisiana-bred filly, hitting big at Fairgrounds before moving on to Belmont. Then there was Dance on Air, an A.P. Indy filly who had won major stakes races in Canada. The last was an English-bred named Tzuris, who had come out of England specifically for the Triple Tiara and the big filly races in the fall. Much was expected of the lanky bay filly, but much more was expected out of Res Mira.

The blood bay daughter of Wonder was walking collectedly next to her groom, her coat glowing dimly under the light. Cindy had to tear her gaze away from the filly when Bosta sauntered past, filled with enthusiasm and unwarranted confidence. Cindy didn't feel at all confident that Bosta could win against horses like these, but she stared stonily ahead when Ashleigh walked by, giving Cindy a curt nod as she went. Cindy nodded back, feeling her pride rush back.

"Riders up!"

"That's you," Lucas said, nodding to Cindy and giving her a leg up onto Bosta as the filly stopped outside her stall, prancing underneath Cindy with excitement.

"You know the strategy," Lucas said, patting Bosta's dark hindquarters. "You know what to do."

"I do," Cindy nodded, settling in the saddle as Bosta bounced eagerly on her legs and squealed, pricking her ears at the crowds that lined the rail.

Cindy rode the filly out onto the track, passing the old grandstand as the dark filly set foot on the well tilled dirt and huffed, walking out with a confident flick of her tail. They joined the post parade after Res Mira, and Cindy stared ahead, watching the blue and white silks as Ann rode Res Mira out into a warm up. Cindy followed, letting Bosta shift into a ground eating canter as they pulled along Res Mira, Bosta flicking a curious ear at the other filly.

"She looks great, Cindy," Ann said over to her as they turned and slowed their mounts, letting them relax before they approached the gate.

"Thanks," Cindy nodded, glancing over at Res Mira. "I can't tell you how weird this feels."

"You'll have to get used to it," Ann laughed. "It will be fun to ride against you," she added. "Not exactly like old times, but a blast from the past anyway."

Cindy laughed and watched as Ann heeled Res Mira forward again with her outrider, trotting up to the gate. Bosta slowed behind the large metal object, standing quietly and watching with interest as the other fillies loaded.

"You ready for this?" Cindy asked the big filly nervously, gripping the reins as she watched an assistant come for her. "Because I think you're just as ready for this as I am. We've been waiting too long, huh girl?"

Bosta snorted as the assistant took her halter and immediately reared, lashing at the man's head in a warning. Cindy was caught unprepared and had to clutch onto the filly's mane, feeling herself sliding in the saddle.

"Whoa!" she could hear people calling as the filly fell back to all fours and took a few prancing steps forward, her head craned up to give the people around her a distrusting look.

"It's okay," Cindy was murmuring over and over again. "It's going to be okay."

Bosta walked stiltedly toward the gate and loaded with a bang, hitting the padded sides a few times before quieting down, letting out a loud sigh. Cindy smiled and pulled down her goggles, waiting for Daffodil and Tzuris to load. When they did, the gate sprang open and Bosta was lunging out of the gate with the rest of the field.

After only two strides out of the gate, Daffodil bore in and hit Bosta hard, nearly knocking the larger filly off stride. Cindy gave the filly rein and pulled away from Daffodil, shooting for a good position as they battled their way down the long backstretch of Belmont.

Already Hell to Breakfast had plunged out of the group of fighting fillies and had claimed the lead, with Keptie close behind her and Five By Five running up the rail. Res Mira had dropped back immediately, allowing Cindy a hole to drive Bosta through, settling her in fourth behind the leaders, running in the gaps to avoid getting dirt kicked in their faces.

Bosta was running easily in her position, but still fought Cindy for rein, keeping her ears swept back to concentrate on Cindy. As they hit the turn, Keptie had already claimed the lead from Hell to Breakfast and was inching slowly away from the tiring filly. Cindy slowly woke Bosta up as they wound into the turn, Hell to Breakfast moving further back as Keptie began to pull away. Five By Five was coming alive on the rail, and all of a sudden Cindy could hear ragged breaths behind her.

Glancing quickly under her arm Cindy could see the blue and white flashing behind her and she knew it was time to start moving Bosta. The field was hitting the long homestretch and Tzuris was making her move, going wide around horses and switching leads. When Cindy saw Tzuris and Res Mira pulling up on each side of her, she quickly collected Bosta and gave her the signal to go.

All of a sudden she felt a push of power and Bosta lunged with her hind quarters, leaping out to change leads and start her shattering drive for the finish. The three fillies ran abreast down the stretch, overtaking Keptie and Five By Five, who fell through the gaps that the three fillies made to allow the tired leaders to fall back into the pack.

Bosta was flying down the stretch, her large body collecting and releasing as she tried to push herself to the front. Cindy grasped her crop and flicked it past Bosta's left eye and then smacked it against the filly's quarters, feeling another pour of power. Next to her Res Mira and Tzuris weren't giving up ground. Both were pouring on their own speed, battling it out with Bosta to the finish.

Ann was working hard on Res Mira, flicking the crop past her eye repeatedly as Res Mira started to pull away steadily, inching past until she had a head in front.

"No," Cindy growled through gritted teeth as she began to push just as hard, getting a stunning response from Bosta.

The filly seemed to pick up her front feet and lunge, overtaking Res Mira in a shattering move as she took back her lost ground and then gained some, shoving her dark body forward and inching away, her ears flat to her head as they thundered down to the wire.

They crossed the finish line a head in front, and Cindy raised up in the stirrups in shock. She looked back immediately and caught Res Mira pulling up next to her, Ann standing in the stirrups with a smile on her face.

"Spectacular," was all Ann said as Res Mira went past, her sweating blood bay body glimmering and her neck arched. Cindy's jaw had dropped, and she slowed Bosta to a trot in the first turn, pulling her down to a walk and turning her so she could see the grandstand. Vaguely she could see Lucas and Jack making their ways to the winner's circle, through the people shifting along the rail and up under the shadowed stands.

Bosta snorted underneath her and blew out of wide nostrils, tossing her sweat slicked head. Cindy slapped the filly's wet neck in praise and took a deep breath, hardly believing what had happened.

"You want to go to the winner's circle, Cindy?" Ann asked as she stopped Res Mira next to Bosta, both fillies too tired to care whether or not they could get along.

"I suppose that's the next step," Cindy said, letting Bosta walk forward, Ann next to her on Res Mira.

"Enjoy it, Cin," Ann said, reaching out and squeezing her arm lightly. "You deserve it."

With that Ann heeled Res Mira into a trot and left Cindy to make her way back to the grandstand alone, Bosta arching her neck proudly and picking up her feet. Finally Cindy leaned down and wrapped an arm around Bosta's neck, forgetting the filly's unpredictable ways. Bosta kept walking solidly as Cindy pressed her face against the filly's mane and felt the first tear slide down her cheeks.

She didn't have to see Ashleigh's face as they passed by and into the winner's circle. Bosta was in her own world, and Cindy was on cloud nine. They stood for the photos and Cindy leapt off the filly to the cheers of the crowd before collecting the saddle and weighing back in.

Before she headed back to the jockey's room she paused and turned back to look at the winner's circle. Bosta was getting a quick cool off with buckets of water being dumped on her back and chest, steam rising off her strong back as she squealed and stamped her feet impatiently. Lucas was eagerly answering questions about the filly's future, and Jack was standing amidst all of it, smiling at her.

She smiled back and waved tentatively. He nodded to her and disappeared into the crowd as Bosta was led back out onto the track and to the backside, where she would be pampered until people remembered her reputation and relearned to keep their distance.

Cindy grinned as a groom trailed behind with the discarded wreath of flowers, before turning and heading back into the dim hallway that led to the jockey's room. The hallway was quiet and Cindy couldn't help but keep her grin on her face. She had succeeded, and this was only the beginning.


End file.
